IG Post about Chilhood Verbal Trauma & rant

This is a post that I've saved on Instagram because this child's letter to his/her parents has really resonated with me. The letter is in the second slide:

Merie.twitts on Instagram: “I wanna give this child a hug. Some people just don’t deserve kids🤦🏾*♀️”

It hurts to see children feeling guilty for mistakes and such that were either out of their control, couldn't be understood, or who else knows! I feel like I'm reading a letter that my childhood self is writing in order to understand the pain that is forming inside.

For example, because of this infliction over time, I'm still trying to "grow up" in this adult body that's developing without me with a mind of a broken young woman (I tried to describe accurately what I'm feeling ). It's a great struggle because I feel like I'm dragging my soul and mind through broken glass while trying to live AND while fixing the mess that's formed from my childhood but is continuing to grow. However, I have fulfilled some goals over time to improve myself, but most of those so-called achievements should be normal tasks of a growing adult, but since the words "dumb, clumsy, POS, etc." have been ingrained in my head for so long, I'm here believing every little thing is an accomplishment when in reality, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Things as small as filling up a gas tank or big like moving on-campus for uni, and I say this because I didn't expect to live past my 18th birthday (car accident that year plus suicidal thoughts)... While I'm typing this, I guess I kind of see a positive of recognizing my accomplishments since I'm a reserved, asocial person in general, and this helps me step out of my comfort zone. Unfortunately, these "accomplishments" are stemming from the thought of "Hey, this clumsy, dumb person can actually do something useful!", so it's not good at all.

All because of this, I wish I had a better relationship with my parents cause I don't know how to handle my hate and love towards them... that's all, and my heart goes out to all the little kids today who feel like this. I wish I could hug them all and tell them, "It's okay, it's not your fault. Here's what you need to do...".

I'm so sorry you've been through ALL OF THIS, MaroonAbalone! I'd suggest to just tell yourself the same words that you'd teel those children who are struggling like you did, by saying that it is NOT their fault that they're going trhough and that things WILL get bettere BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! It is hard when our parents are the one who are giving us the most trouble! However we have to keep fighting and hoping for a better future! Please don't be so hard on yourself! You ARE making accomplishments and that's what matters! Don't pay too much attention to what other people think or MAY THINK! You ARE fighting and I think you're MUCH, MUCH STRONGER than many other other or more than you yourself believe! It is not easy to get through life entirely by ourselves, and yet you're doing EXACTLY THAT, fighting and standing up entirely BY YOURSELF! BE PROUD OF YOURSELF! Please be kind to yourself, ok? WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU HERE! I PROMISE YOU ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! Take GREAT car eof yourself, ok? WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! WISH YOU GOOD LUCK! Keep us updated on your situation AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN if you CAN and WANT TO! Let us know how things are going for you! Sending many hugs to you, MaroonAbalone!