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15anddepressed
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 02:54 AM
  #1
For context on my experiences, you can read my other posts, especially my first post.

I wrote this as my first time ever writing a rap song, and just wanted to share it. Obviously I can't perform it, I'm not a rapper or a lyricist, nor do I have what I need to perform it. Let me know what you think, I'm not a lyricist so it's probably not that good.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that you love me, you know that I love you

I want to tell you about the things that I’ve been put through

I only wish that you as my mom knew, and my dad too

How you make me feel when you berate me for minor things

I know that you’re trying to make me a finer man, so I can bring

Pride, knowing that you raised me as a fine person

But I might worsen, with sadness lurking, as you make me feel like a bad person

For not contributing enough, or being lazy and stupid, my mind is hazy and lucid

At the same time, and I am trying, but I’m struggling to prove it, ‘cause I’ve lost motivation

Due to my depression, this is my confession, I feel worthless

I know you won’t believe me, and telling you would prove fruitless

I seem like a happy kid but I beat myself down

You tell me that I’m smart, you tell me that I’m cool, but really

I feel dumb, like a fool, but I shouldn’t be, in theory

My life is good, my parents are involved, but my mood revolves

From happy to gloomy, in different times of day

I never feel either side all the way, except for my gloom, in actuality

In reality, I never really feel happy, only okay to no, wait-

What am I saying, it doesn’t really matter,

You aren’t going to hear it, so love me or not I often feel the latter

Even though in my heart I know it’s the former, but rather

Tough or harsh or misguided love, and even if I don’t believe in God

If he’s up there I hope that he can see from abroad

That I need something that I don’t get right now, and that is appreciation

But every time you yell at me all I feel is depreciation

I know you’re just trying to prepare me for the real world

But I feel burdened, or maybe I should feel that way

Either way my true feelings are furled and curled up

Into a ball and thrown deep into the caves of my brain

Don’t know why I’m feeling this way, maybe I am lazy, maybe I am stupid

Or maybe these problems are more deeply rooted

Whatever the answer I’m doubting myself

But deep inside I’m thinking, “why help thyself?”

I can’t, and I have no one to turn to

I wish I was happy, I wish that were true

I’m not perfect, so maybe I can learn too

But I hope that someone understands me

Then, someone can listen empathetically

As I let out my emotions, pathetically

This is nearing the end so to everyone listening, I hope that this suffices

Just know that I’d never harbor vices

To the people that made me and raised me as who I am today

But when I feel truly happy again then that’d be the day

That I have finally, finally broken out of my gloomy daze
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 05:43 AM
  #2
Hey 15anddepressed,

I think it's really cool and really quite touching as well. I could feel the sadness and the hurt, the love. Says a lot about you, that you're a good person. There's a lot of maturity in your writing.

But not only that - it's great rhyming as well. I thought it was great. Hugs!!

Thanks very much for sharing!
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Thanks for this!
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 06:49 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by mote.of.soul View Post
Hey 15anddepressed,

I think it's really cool and really quite touching as well. I could feel the sadness and the hurt, the love. Says a lot about you, that you're a good person. There's a lot of maturity in your writing.

But not only that - it's great rhyming as well. I thought it was great. Hugs!!

Thanks very much for sharing!
Thanks a lot! I'm glad you liked it!
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Thanks for this!
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 07:22 AM
  #4
Are you still only 15 and depressed? I think, quite honestly, you should perform, you should rap your own rap.

"I am not a rapper", that is already one of those self-negating thoughts that should be avoided. I maintain, you ARE a rapper. Keep on rapping!

Good luck! You're very talented!
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 07:25 AM
  #5
Could I share with you my latest poem?

Here I go.

The title is:

That Strange Green Vase

The strange green vase
Of strange green glass
You see through it
Distorted visions
Of a strange green past.

It's empty, yet can be filled
Like the drawers,
The full ones, the empty ones
Order, it suggests,
Must be wrapped in something soft.
It's breakable.

Where are you now,
You sweet green vase?
You were cheap, a giveaway
Yet hand blown,
Tender, thin walled, small,
And friendly.
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Thanks for this!
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 07:34 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poiuytl View Post
Could I share with you my latest poem?

Here I go.

The title is:

That Strange Green Vase

The strange green vase
Of strange green glass
You see through it
Distorted visions
Of a strange green past.

It's empty, yet can be filled
Like the drawers,
The full ones, the empty ones
Order, it suggests,
Must be wrapped in something soft.
It's breakable.

Where are you now,
You sweet green vase?
You were cheap, a giveaway
Yet hand blown,
Tender, thin walled, small,
And friendly.
That poem is really nice! I'm not super into poetry so I probably didn't catch some stuff but I like the metaphors. Thanks for sharing!
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 07:35 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Poiuytl View Post
Are you still only 15 and depressed? I think, quite honestly, you should perform, you should rap your own rap.

"I am not a rapper", that is already one of those self-negating thoughts that should be avoided. I maintain, you ARE a rapper. Keep on rapping!

Good luck! You're very talented!
Thanks a lot, but I am unable to perform this due to not having equipment and I'm not a rapper (in the sense that it's the first time I've even wrote a rap song and never performed), but thanks a lot for your encouragement. If I ever write another one, I'll post it here.
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 08:00 AM
  #8
Thanks for sharing

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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 08:59 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
Thanks for sharing
Thanks! I just thought I'd post it here since I posted it to other places.
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