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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: Indonesia
Posts: 20
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Jun 04, 2019 at 05:18 AM
#1
Each time people can't understand me I am feeling pain in result I hurt the people who are really close to my heart
I sent them most hurtful words, backlash and the most cruel side if me I'm an INFJ and somehow people can't understand this makes me so angry and results in pain I can't hurt people but I can't help if people can't understand me I love them so much and I'm so short tempered I kill my loved ones with my most hurtful words Is it a sign I have mental illness? Or does it relate with my life events? Or is it just my bad nature? I don't know but it has been happened so many times I can't take it anymore to hurt people I've been losing so many people whom I loved the most due to this behavior Can anyone help me? How to manage my anger? Why I'm feeling numb killing others by words but after few moments I will apologize and sorry It feels like I have lost my mind I broke someone's heart and then apologize like nothing was happened Please anyone suggest me something to cope with this problem Thank you in advance |
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 Fuzzybear, mote.of.soul, Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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Jun 04, 2019 at 11:01 AM
#2
I’m sorry you’re struggling with this...
Have you seen a therapist? A good therapist could be very helpful... I’m sending respect and peace to you 
__________________ 
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 ikakhoirina, Thirty shades
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
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Jun 04, 2019 at 12:03 PM
#3
Thank you for posting ikakhoirina. I once took some notes of dealing with anger healthily. I was being treated badly and felt violated at that time.
Anger is feeling, emotionally charged, out of control because of shame, violation or fear. It is a symptomatic emotion. Notice your anger. Is it aggressive or passive? Am I imploding? Or do I feel indifferent to my anger? Accept your anger. Don’t deny it or it will grow becoming unhealthy. Don’t dwell on it, experience it via dissociation. Feel it, experience it and what drives it. We are all kids in adult bodies. Nurture your inner child! Rescue your inner child by thinking or doing what you enjoyed as a child. What food did you like? Help yourself through your childhood problems. What would I say to her? Don’t reject her or make her a victim. Create life experiences in a healthy way. Deal with the shame, fear or violation. Create positive affirmations. “I will not be violated again. I will look after and nurture myself. I will surround myself with good people. I care about me.” Anger leaves us feeling we are not enough to control a situation. Go from lack of control to taking control. Address any shame, fear, lack of control and violation. “I am taking control of my life now. I will look after me and give myself what I need. I am angry about the way I have been treated in the past. The past can’t be changed. My future will be different because I am taking control now.” Feel any tension in my body, contract muscles and then let them relax. Shaking can help. You can get through this! I hope this can help and I agree with Fuzzy. There may be a good therapist that would help. Much respect and kind thoughts to you
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ikakhoirina
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Grand Magnate
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Jun 04, 2019 at 12:09 PM
#4
Thank you for reminding me of this information I had saved. It is a good chance to re-read some old challenges. I forget I made the notes to help me when I might need them.
Sending good wishes for the future
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Fuzzybear, ikakhoirina
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: Indonesia
Posts: 20
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Jun 04, 2019 at 02:21 PM
#5
Quote:
My dad such a bad temper And since I was kid I used to break things and angry so much if things don't go as I want I don't know but clearly I remember the most days how that anger triggered me I have never been into therapist But yeah let me see what I can do Thank-you 
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: Indonesia
Posts: 20
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Jun 04, 2019 at 02:30 PM
#6
Quote:
This really helps and opens my eyes I guess somehow you're right about anger management I have this issue I have been dealing with anger An aggressive anger since I was little I didn't mean to blame my dad But I clearly still remember everything The way my dad used to treat me in anger caused me having my own anger Is it possible? I used to break things in anger Speak hurtful words And even have such killing sentences uttered I feel remorseful after few moments Not that long It takes only 30-60 min from each anger to become neutral again Like I did not do anything wrong Then I start to cry When I hurt people or break things I do it all without any consent Just speak whatever comes from my mouth And not even think for once I really can't live the life of being such angry person I usually get angry when people can't understand my feelings Like even small gesture of not understanding me can cause explosive anger Even I'm so sad People keep leaving from my life I don't know how my mom put up with me She has been my target like all the time If she wasn't my mom she would have left |
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Thirty shades
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Grand Magnate
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Location: UK
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Jun 04, 2019 at 04:26 PM
#7
Being aware you have a issue is half the problem solved.
Have you read this book? It helps with childhood abuse. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Complex-PTS.../dp/1492871842 I also think some places have anger management classes.
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ikakhoirina
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: Indonesia
Posts: 20
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Jun 05, 2019 at 02:54 AM
#8
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I'll look forward to it Thank you |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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