I don't want to be happy

Humpty Dumpty · Jun 18, 2019 at 05:38 PM

I'm not asking to be happy. In fact I don't want "happiness" I don't like it. However I am tired of always being depressed and suicidal. I'm tired of being stuck in limbo. That space where I'm standing on the edge just 1 step away but too afraid to take that 1. Last. Step. Yet ever time I turn around to walk away I end up right back here. I have done "happy" before. I didnt like it. I wasn't in control of my emotions. Similar to now just on the opposite end of the spectrum. I don't think I am asking for too much. People always say "I want to be happy again." or "Strive for happiness." I want to stop short of that. Either that or get the courage to take that final step.

Fuzzybear · Jun 18, 2019 at 05:49 PM

((((((( Humpty Dumpty )))))))

Respect and empathy to you

Humpty Dumpty · Jun 18, 2019 at 07:14 PM

Some would say that this is a real F'd up way of thinking. I don't think it's F'd up at all. It is just a different way if looking at things.

Humpty Dumpty · Jun 18, 2019 at 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wildeve

It's an honest way of looking at things. Absolutely everything we do in life, we do to avoid suffering. From every little movement of our bodies to every big life decision, it's all motivated by the instinct to avoid suffering. So really, contentedness is just a state of minimal suffering. But you're considered a pessimist if you see things that way, even though optimism is as irrational,--and potentially more dangerous,--than pessimism. (And anyway, understanding that life is a meaningless void of nothingness isn't pessimism; it's a completely rational position to take.)

Anyway, yeah, screw happiness. Don't you think it would be great to get a lobotomy? I don't think you can get them anymore. I wouldn't mind being in a semi-zombified state.

A lobotomy seems like a good idea Until you realize if you get that you're just a burden to others at that point you no longer high functioning.

Sunflower123 · Jun 18, 2019 at 10:36 PM

Hoping you get out of limbo and into a state that benefits you.

Thirty shades · Jun 19, 2019 at 02:58 AM

HumptyDumpty

TBH, I would settle with some mild sadness. I would just like to be free of trauma and pain.

MickeyCheeky · Jun 19, 2019 at 04:20 AM

A middle ground would probably be more than enough for many, Humpty Dumpty. Unfortunately Depression doesn't allow that. You're certainly not alone in your feelings! Please NEVER give up hope! You ARE IMPORTANT and YOU MATTER!

Stay safe! Hopefully things will get better soon for you one way or another! Just treat yourself with kindness!

Keep venting if you need that! We're here to listen to you and to support you! WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU KNOW THAT IS TRUE! YOU KNOW THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE! Hang in there! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Humpty Dumpty!

Fuzzybear · Jun 19, 2019 at 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

HumptyDumpty

TBH, I would settle with some mild sadness. I would just like to be free of trauma and pain.

I’d been thinking of this post and wished I had some wise words.

I could relate to much of your post Humpty Dumpty ...

This wise poster has said it better than I could have done,

Much respect to all

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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 05:49 PM #2 ((((((( Humpty Dumpty ))))))) Respect and empathy to you __________________
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Humpty Dumpty Grand Member Member Since Jul 2015 Location: On a wall Posts: 813 8 365 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 07:14 PM #3 Some would say that this is a real F'd up way of thinking. I don't think it's F'd up at all. It is just a different way if looking at things. __________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean.
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Sunflower123 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jan 2015 Location: USA Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!) 9 95k hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 10:36 PM #5 Hoping you get out of limbo and into a state that benefits you.
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Thirty shades Grand Magnate Member Since Jul 2018 Location: UK Posts: 4,799 (SuperPoster!) 5 16.2k hugs given	Jun 19, 2019 at 02:58 AM #6 HumptyDumpty TBH, I would settle with some mild sadness. I would just like to be free of trauma and pain.
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