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3rd rock
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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 03:20 AM
  #1
I had my last appointment with a 'therapist' this week. We mutually agreed not to have any further appointments because her 'therapy' wasn't working for me. I suggested that I would've benefited more from a psychiatric therapist who would help me explore formative experiences (read: childhood) that went into producing the person I am today, avoidant, incapable of forming relationships, etc. She told me point blank that therapists don't do that, at her office or anywhere else, and that kind of therapy is only for those who have experienced traumatic events, such as sexual abuse. Her therapy consisted mainly of admonishing me to get more exercise and eat better; without getting into it, these are things I already do, though not always as much as I should. This particular therapist was fond of circular reasoning, telling me that the things she says work because they're proven to work, and they're proven to work because they do. All it did was make me feel worse, not because I ever really believed it's my fault, but because it made me feel dejected that this is the only 'help' out there, that there's nothing more for people like me who are struggling to maintain any level of functioning (currently on disability from work).

I don't understand this, because there are a lot of formative experiences that go into producing adults whose ability to function can vary tremendously. I won't go into the details about whether I was abused, sexually or otherwise, except to say that I did not have a good childhood and there are certain episodes I recall as particularly traumatic in the formative sense. I was hoping when I started 'therapy' that I would be helped in confronting these experiences and moving past them. Suffice it to say, telling me to eat a vegetable and go for a walk haven't done that. But then this 'therapist' tells me there's no therapy out there that will help me do that, that therapy doesn't amount to sitting on a couch and talking about your childhood, I just don't understand that. I have trouble accepting that. This is the only 'therapist' I've ever had, since I was a teenager anyways.

Do you know what I'm saying? I'm not sure if I'm conveying myself accurately. Is there anyone out there who has any insight?
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downandlonely
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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 03:33 AM
  #2
There are plenty of therapists out there who talk about childhood and help people process events from that, regardless if they are considered "traumatic" by others or not. Your therapist sounds like the one I had who was convinced my depression stemmed from eating sugar. Her sessions consisted of telling me not to do that. If that was my problem, I would need a nutritionist, not a therapist. Look for a psychodynamic therapist on psychologytoday.com.
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Default Jun 20, 2019 at 09:02 PM
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Thank you for your reply. I've looked at seeing a private psychiatrist, but I'm not sure if my extended health plan through work will cover much of a private therapist, perhaps a few sessions. Although, if I find the right one, then even a few sessions could be helpful.
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Default Jun 21, 2019 at 11:09 AM
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