Basic psychology in 10 - or more :) easy lessons

Lesson 1

I have found that many people prefer “I” statements to “you” statements, especially if we do not generally overly sugar coat our words.

Simple example - I felt hurt when you said (or did) .... x ....

I feel hurt and angry when ....

Not

You make me so angry ...

There is also an element of “blame” in negative “you” statements.

With I statements we are behaving as the mature adults we are. We are showing we are open to respectful dialogue if the other person also has that capacity.

Respect and care to all


Feel free to join in. Anyone is welcome to add (supportive) insights. When
depressed I’ve found I have to sometimes be careful with my words in case I wrongly come across as someone I am not.

Lesson 2

An old one... “yes but” statements. Not ideal if we want to create a “good” bond
with someone. Even if the other person is very dismissive I’ve found it’s more helpful to exit the conversation and the relationship than to have..

Useless advice from ?

Reply from ? (Trying to be “polite” - “yes, but ...”

Possibly people with neglectful and abusive parents have fallen into this trap once with a professional, who possibly is unable or unwilling to comprehend for reasons I won’t go into.



I’m pretty sure most know these already. I would speculate many learn these and more in any healthy home .... stay tuned. Or change the channel, as you wish

All very true, Fuzzy. And it helps to use these techniques if only to protect ourselves from hurtful pushback.

I statements are assertive. This is the ideal way to express yourself.

But kind of negates the positive statement that came before

Thank you dear friend for posting.
Thank you Mopey for posting too.

I am sending kind thoughts and respect to you both and to all who read this thread

Thank you for posting dear Thirty shades

Kind thoughts and respect to you, Mopey, and all who read this thread

Thank you for posting, Mopey