Feeling Lonely

I had an active day. I talked with my sister and mom, I texted a friend and I chatted online with some people. Yet tonight I feel so lonely. I wish one of my friends was available now. But why isn't what I had today good enough? I never see anyone in person except my doctors. Maybe 3 times a year I'll see my family but mostly I'm alone. I have two cats and I'm glad for that. Sometimes I just miss human interaction. No one wants to visit me cause I can't walk. My sisters like to exercise. That's how they socialize. If I could walk again, they would come visit. I can get around the house but that's about it. That's pretty much why I feel more comfortable being a homebody. Hence lack of friends and social interaction.

I have a doctor's appointment next week for my back. My back is the reason I can't walk. Maybe this doctor can help me. And I've been losing weight to help my back out. I'm trying to stay positive. If I can get to walking again, I'm going to join some walking groups in my area.

Hi Deilla, it makes sense to me that you are not feeling fulfilled socially. That's not a lot of interaction. I have the same issue in that I'm more isolated lately. Depression just makes me want to isolate more. I know I need to do the opposite though. Honestly, I think we are made for lots of connection, face to face. Its hard when people aren't or don't come around. I'm sorry your sisters don't come around bc you can't walk. I don't like that. Sorry to judge them. It just seems rather rude. But I may be overstepping and completely wrong. Anyway, I know how you feel with the loneliness. Are you disabled physically then? Is it temporary? Do you use a wheelchair? There's got to be social things you can do. I'm sort of foggy minded atm so don't have ideas. Also you didn't ask and I might be giving advice you don't want or need. Anyway, I hope you have a better night.

Hi Deilla, I can really relate to your situation. It's hard to form new relationships when you're home bound. I'm in much the same situation and do much of my visiting with friends by phone. I really miss going for long walks. I'm glad you have your kitties - I have 2 myself and don't know what I'd do without them. Sending you compassion and hugs.

((((((((( hugs )))))))))

Thanks for the reply. I have limited mobility. I can walk for no more than 3 minutes and then my back makes it so I have to sit down immediately. So I just don't go anywhere. I have everything delivered to me. Yes, it seems my sisters are being rude not to come by to visit. We could have coffee and chat. One sister said she would do chair aerobics with me. I'm game for that since she likes to exercise. But she never did show. Maybe I'll see if she's still interested.

I have gone to visit them a couple of times but it's hard for me. I've been homebound for so long that leaving the house is now scary.

This morning I feel good. Two of my friends are online chatting with me. And one is in-game with me. I'm texting my sisters and I'm surrounded by my cats. The sun is shinning. I think I do better when the sun is out. I'm busy playing my game and taking breaks to do housework. Seems like the only way to fight the loneliness at night is to just go to bed. Even if it's at 6 pm.

I am grateful that you feel better.

I'm sorry to hear that you are not well and feeling lonely. Do you live far from your family? If they are close, I don't understand why they don't want to visit you. There was a time in my life when it was like that for me. I had been recovering from surgery and it felt very lonely when I was at home.

I'm in pretty good health but I do struggle with loneliness myself. I feel it more on the weekends. Yes I do have people by phone and email, but it's not like being with someone. I only have one good friend. He's old and has limits. He can come and visit me but it's hard for him to do it. Sometimes I forget how it is for him. I can visit him but I don't feel comfortable at his place. And then I have my sister who is 3000 miles from me and we don't talk much.

I hope things get better for you.

I hear you, Deilla! I'm so sorry that you're feeling lonely! I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're feeling a bit better right now. I hope texting your friends and family can help a little bit at least. I also hope someone will visit you at least! That's the least they can do after all. Nevertheless, try to keep yourself busy like you're already WONDERFULLY doing! Keep asking your friends and relatives to come and see you if they can. Hopefully someone will at some point! Of course we're here for you as well when you need advice and support. Don't hesitate to PM me anytime! I'm sure many others will gladly listen to what you have to say as well. Please don't give up. Hang in there. It will get easier. You are important and you matter! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Deilla, and to ALL the people you love and who love you!

oh man @Deilla , what a messed up situation, but certainly you seem to be staying afloat in a superb manner and not letting loneliness and isolation get the best of you. Just that much is commendable and you have my utmost respect for it, not to mention the way you seem to handle your near disability and physical pain, which also seems very well implemented. Keep up the good work and never let the setbacks this life throws at you, deter you from living your life in an at least semi happy, peaceful way.

I join the others when I say it seems odd and sad that your sisters won't visit cause you can't walk. How terrible. What ever happened to compassion, tolerance of other people's situations and understanding of your own family member's physical condition? So sad. I wish they will realize how wrong it is that they don't wanna visit and somehow start going to see you randomly at your place. You are a brave person for living alone with a near disability and that's also a very worthy of respect thing you have managed doing!

I get lonely too you know? cause I'm housebound due to my schizophrenia and PTSD. I've lost all those ppl who claimed to be my friends over the years, shedding them like a bald man's hair, little by little, slowly but surely. If I don't make an effort in making new online friends, I will stay only talking to my parents and married siblings who live away but at least close enough to visit and such. Plus, my mom babysits my niece and I get to see them all almost every day, which is really nice. But yeah, the night comes, insomnia hits me and I'm back down here at the kitchen table with my laptop, and I suddenly feel very alone sometimes.

You can PM me anytime you want, for a safe but fun alternative to loneliness. I'm a big dork at heart and I always make or try to make people laugh when I get closer to them. You seem like an interesting, strong, resilient person and I'm sure there's much I could learn by becoming your friend.

Stay strong, never give up and keep going, keep walking your path in life, no matter how many times you fall. Get up, dust yourself off and keep walking!

A big >>hug<< for you and may you always be safe, happy and at ease in your life, everyday, always.

I don't have anything useful to add. I just wanted to offer support.

Today is my doctor appointment for my back. I'm anxious about going. I'm afraid he will suggest physical therapy. It's hard for me to leave the house. I already have to leave once a week for med appointments. To add additional appointments is going to be pushing it for me. But as my online T recommends, I need to focus on one step at a time, and that's preparing for my appointment at the moment. I would also benefit if I looked at the positive outcomes of treatment... less pain, ability to walk, able to cook, easier to take care of my place, etc.

That makes sense. If you feel better, even if going out sucks, your whole life changes and improves, so I'd say it's very worthwhile to make that extra effort. Whatever you end up doing, best of luck. I know how you feel tho, cause I haven't been out of the house in months and I find it terrifying now.

Got the doctor appointment out of the way. He recommended PT. I have my first appointment next week as well as my med appointment. I think I can handle it. I'm trying to be optimistic. He was pushing weight loss surgery. I'm already losing weight. I'm doing the best I can. I don't want surgery. I'll see how PT goes.

(((((( Deilla ))))))

Yeah, let them know if anything makes you uncomfortable and see how it goes.

I had to get some physio treatment two years ago when I was at a very depressed and isolated point. Frankly, I ended up looking forward to the outings and the limited but reasonably safe human interaction.

Here's hoping.

I know I'm late for this but I hope your appointment, if it already happened, went very well and you feel better from the pain. It's awesome you're taking this in an optimistic, positive way, keep up the good work! And best of luck with any further outings!