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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: Wonderland-Everyoneland
Posts: 1,533
9 589 hugs
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Jul 02, 2019 at 04:13 PM
#1
In a year I will be a pharmacist.
I have done all my exams more or less OK and the paper I wrote is about to be published. I feel like ****, like everything I do is deeply wrong for some reason that lie between me and myself. My existence seems wrong and just it. I am sorry If my speech is weird, I took 2mg of ativan, zolpidem and 75mg of pregabaline. I am tired and wanted to rest and forget everday problems for a while. I am falling asleep. On Thuersday I am going to see a psysh nurse that is going to decide what to be done with me.y Love to everyone 
__________________ Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
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 CepheidVariable, Rohag, Skeezyks, Thirty shades, unaluna
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: Wonderland-Everyoneland
Posts: 1,533
9 589 hugs
given
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Jul 02, 2019 at 04:25 PM
#2
I don't know what to tell to the nurse, why would she believe me?
I hate being alive because being alive has always ment pain. I would like to live without it I would like to have had a family that respects me I would like to don't feel that everything I do is a piece of ****. and I am a pice of **** and should be dead. I doon't know while somethimes I feel bad but keep functioning, but at other times it gets so bad I start thinking I shouldn't be alive. I don't feel anything I do is nice. I feel like the most horrible human being that has ever dare to exist. __________________ Crazy, inside and aside Meds: bye bye meds CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions "Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance." I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison- |
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| CepheidVariable, Mopey, Skeezyks, Thirty shades, unaluna
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
(SuperPoster!)
8 17.4k hugs
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Jul 02, 2019 at 05:45 PM
#3
I'm sorry you feel so down on yourself.
 It sounds to me as though you have some accomplishments you can feel proud of. I hope that, in some way, you can find a path to deep peace within. 
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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 CepheidVariable, OliverB
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,799
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5 16.2k hugs
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Jul 03, 2019 at 01:36 AM
#4
OliverB
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OliverB
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
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Jul 03, 2019 at 01:54 PM
#5
OliverB
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OliverB
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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