Am I a good person?

Crypts_Of_The_Mind · Aug 19, 2019 at 10:21 PM

In short: I feel I fail anyone close to me - ppl and pets alike.

Thirty shades · Aug 20, 2019 at 01:21 AM

Yes you are a good person.

Having depression means we cannot always manage to be there or manage like others.

Would you think badly of a person in a wheelchair for not being able to walk?

Sending much empathy and hugs

Fuzzybear · Aug 20, 2019 at 04:09 PM

You’re a good person Crypts..

Thirty shades speaks wise words..

Aug 20, 2019 at 04:33 PM

You may not remember me, but I remember you.... YOU ARE definitely a very good person. Please be better soon. Be as good as you can to yourself!

Aug 20, 2019 at 08:07 PM

I’m sorry you feel this way. ((Hug))

Crypts_Of_The_Mind · Aug 21, 2019 at 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

Yes you are a good person.

Having depression means we cannot always manage to be there or manage like others.

Would you think badly of a person in a wheelchair for not being able to walk?

Sending much empathy and hugs

Wheelchair bound people still do what they can to help n it is most often truly appreciated when they do.

By failing ppl and pets though. I don't mean it as being there .. but more of a "I have a responsibility I failed at".

For instance, pets rely on you for their care.

Husband relies on you to be a support in the relationship. Yes,
it is natural to fail in small things once in awhile concerning that or need to attend to yourself at times ... but I am speaking on the "overall" type of thing.

Friends rely on you to carry through with your promises.

All of those things I have failed in - not willfully - but just bc I don't remember things or simply don't want to do it at the time or etc

Thirty shades · Aug 21, 2019 at 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Wheelchair bound people still do what they can to help n it is most often truly appreciated when they do.

By failing ppl and pets though. I don't mean it as being there .. but more of a "I have a responsibility I failed at".

For instance, pets rely on you for their care.

Husband relies on you to be a support in the relationship. Yes,
it is natural to fail in small things once in awhile concerning that or need to attend to yourself at times ... but I am speaking on the "overall" type of thing.

Friends rely on you to carry through with your promises.

All of those things I have failed in - not willfully - but just bc I don't remember things or simply don't want to do it at the time or etc

I understand what you are saying here. I often feel the same way.

I just meant that we take account of a paralysed person being unable to walk. We and others need to accept where our limitations lie.

I think we are judged and our snakes judge us to harshly.

Sending respect and loving kindness

TunedOut · Aug 21, 2019 at 06:12 AM

I feel like I failed my children but still love them. Sometimes I just stay away from them because I have done things that have screwed their lives up or caused them pain; other times I still look for ways to help them. We all fail at something but failing as a mother leaves people in pain even after I am gone.

I understand how painful it feels when you have let others down. Do what you can but know your limitations? Hugs.

Crypts_Of_The_Mind · Aug 21, 2019 at 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TunedOut

I feel like I failed my children but still love them. Sometimes I just stay away from them because I have done things that have screwed their lives up or caused them pain; other times I still look for ways to help them. We all fail at something but failing as a mother leaves people in pain even after I am gone.

I understand how painful it feels when you have let others down. Do what you can but know your limitations? Hugs.

Problem with doing what I can with my animals - 3 of the 4 have passed on .. I did what I knew but it was not enough n they kept looking at me like "mama do something!" So I always feel I did not do "enough". Problem with failing my husband - he holds grudges, and as long as he has the grudge, I feel terrible for putting it there.

So I try to do all I can, it just is not enough..

Aug 21, 2019 at 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Problem with doing what I can with my animals - 3 of the 4 have passed on .. I did what I knew but it was not enough n they kept looking at me like "mama do something!" So I always feel I did not do "enough". Problem with failing my husband - he holds grudges, and as long as he has the grudge, I feel terrible for putting it there.

So I try to do all I can, it just is not enough..

I understand how this. I have the same kind of guilt and sadness.

MickeyCheeky · Aug 21, 2019 at 12:14 PM

Doing what we can is ALWAYS enough, Crypts! You're only human. I understand why you're hurting but please don't put all of these expectations on yourself - no one is perfect! You're doing what you can and I feel like that's ALWAYS enough. Some things are just out of our control sometimes. We're not to blame. Please be kind to yourself!

Remember that you're very much Loved here. I hope writing here helps a bit. In any case, you can always PM me, my friend. You know I'll NEVER judge you, and I'm sure plenty of others here will listen without judging as well!

Remember that you're stronger than you think. Please hang in there. Keep venting here AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE! You're important, you matter, you're worth it and you're WONDERFUL! You know that's ASOLUTELY true, my dear, sweet friend! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, @Crypts_Of_The_Mind, and ALL Of Your Loved Ones!

TunedOut · Aug 21, 2019 at 02:02 PM

Want to respond better--You did the best you could! You obviously are a good person. The pain will fade with time and you will remember the good times. Dogs love you no matter what. I am sure they loved you very, very much. Death is always sad but there must have been good times and you will focus more on that eventually. Hugs.

Crypts_Of_The_Mind · Aug 21, 2019 at 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TunedOut

Want to respond better--You did the best you could! You obviously are a good person. The pain will fade with time and you will remember the good times. Dogs love you no matter what. I am sure they loved you very, very much. Death is always sad but there must have been good times and you will focus more on that eventually. Hugs.

I remember the good times, yes - but the guilt always stabs at me. Even 10yrs after my cocker spaniel, Harley, died - I still feel guilt. 2yrs after my Australian Shepherd, Lucky died, I still feel guilt. It just never goes away. Even with my mom - it's been over 30yrs since she passed, and I still feel guilt. Cognitively, I understand those deaths are not my fault - but psychologically, they will always be my fault.

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Crypts_Of_The_Mind Grand Magnate Member Since Nov 2015 Location: Tennessee Posts: 3,025 8 2,609 hugs given	Aug 19, 2019 at 10:21 PM #1 In short: I feel I fail anyone close to me - ppl and pets alike. __________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
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Thirty shades Grand Magnate Member Since Jul 2018 Location: UK Posts: 4,799 (SuperPoster!) 5 16.2k hugs given	Aug 20, 2019 at 01:21 AM #2 Yes you are a good person. Having depression means we cannot always manage to be there or manage like others. Would you think badly of a person in a wheelchair for not being able to walk? Sending much empathy and hugs
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Aug 20, 2019 at 04:09 PM #3 You’re a good person Crypts.. Thirty shades speaks wise words.. __________________
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Anonymous445852 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 20, 2019 at 04:33 PM #4 You may not remember me, but I remember you.... YOU ARE definitely a very good person. Please be better soon. Be as good as you can to yourself!
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Anonymous47864 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 20, 2019 at 08:07 PM #5 I’m sorry you feel this way. ((Hug))
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TunedOut Grand Poohbah Member Since May 2019 Location: USA Posts: 1,523 4 6,984 hugs given	Aug 21, 2019 at 02:02 PM #12 Want to respond better--You did the best you could! You obviously are a good person. The pain will fade with time and you will remember the good times. Dogs love you no matter what. I am sure they loved you very, very much. Death is always sad but there must have been good times and you will focus more on that eventually. Hugs.
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