Depression with sociopathy

I think I am a pathological liar in addition to being depressed, an alcoholic (one month clean), and someone who suffers from anxiety as well.

Sometimes I don’t know what to say in social settings so I’ll just make stuff up. Anything, really.

For example —

Something I did to a coworker last year has recently come back to haunt me.

I was extremely drunk at last years Christmas party and I told a lie about an innocent coworker to try and be funny. I vaguely remember it except for flashbacks.

The next day when we were all sober another coworker said “omg is it true about coworker x - is what you said last night really true?”

Instead of coming clean I continued the lie.

I didn’t think anything of it until recently a senior member directly comforted coworker x saying I had said xyz about him.

It has come back to me now and I have deeply apologized to this coworker. He has forgiven me but management will be extremely angry when they inevitably hear about this through the grapevine.

My reputation is gone, likely my job too. I have truly never felt more miserable, worthless, and horrified.

You did eventually come clean. You haven't lost your job yet. If management confronts you, you can apologize to them too and perhaps the person in management handling it will be understanding. Whether or not you get fired might also depend on how well you do your job and how much they need you to get the work done.

We have all made mistakes.

I Completely Agree With The Wise And WONDERFUL TunedOut, @Amylamb! We've ALL made mistakes! Please be kind to yourself! Yes, I agree with just telling the truth and with telling them that you weren't thinking straight that time and that you've meant no harm! Also tell them that it won't happen again! Don't beat yourself up over it! You've apologized and you've been forgiven!That's ALL you could do really! Now let's just hope for the best possible outcome, ok? You're in my Thoughts and Prayers! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @Amylamb, Your Family, Your Friends and ALL Of Your Loved Ones! PLEASE DO KEEP FIGHTING, MY AWESOME, DEAR, KIND AND SWEET FRIEND!

Thank you both for your replies. I really appreciate it. I am still struggling with my lie and mistake and worried sick about getting fired. Moreover, I’m devastated about how I hurt my friend and coworker and how I could ever be so mean.

I agree with the other wise posters. I agree with telling them that you weren’t thinking straight at that time and that you meant no harm. Everyone makes mistakes. I’m hoping for the best possible outcome for you. Sending hugs