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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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#1
Were you planted with
Possible trigger:
(not about anyone on pc) __________________ |
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Anonymous445852, downandlonely, malika138, MickeyCheeky, Rohag, Thirty shades, unaluna
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MickeyCheeky
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partyofone
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#2
Your post touched a note with me. From the time I was very small, I was often warned specifically not to tell 'strangers' (that is, anyone not in the immediate family) anything about 'what we're like.' Sometimes the purpose was, I think, to shield them from something truly hair-raising that I might reveal; but often it was about any small detail of home life. Guess they figured, if I didn't dare talk about my home at all, I wouldn't blow their cover. It reminded me of the no-talk rules mentioned in dysfunctional families analysis. . . . It doesn't do much for your ability to know your own feelings--and often you don't tend to trust others easily, do you?
Thanks for sharing your experience. |
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Anonymous445852, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades, unaluna
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Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Rohag, unaluna
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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Posts: 96,300
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#3
Quote:
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MickeyCheeky, partyofone, Thirty shades
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MickeyCheeky
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Grand Magnate
Thirty shades
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#4
I was always told as a cub, "that children should be seen and not heard..."
Victorian proverb's used to excuse neglect.... |
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Fuzzybear, Rohag
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Fuzzybear
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Disreputable Old Troll
Skeezyks
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#5
I'm sorry you continue to struggle with all of this Fuzzy. I wish you great peace in your life. I've written before, here on PC, that had I been a normal child I think I might have had pretty good parents, at least in terms of how parenting was done at the time. Unfortunately I was far from a normal child. Somehow, I don't know how, I learned there were things about myself I must never tell anyone. And so I didn't. And, over time, this "not talking" spread to many other things as well that I could have talked about had I known how. Some of what I hid I've never divulged to this day. I'll take all with me to the crematorium...
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Fuzzybear, Gasplessy, Rohag, Thirty shades, unaluna
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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downandlonely
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#6
I'm sorry that some of you were taught that emotions are shameful. Hiding them becomes very painful.
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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Fuzzybear, partyofone, Thirty shades
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Grand Magnate
will19
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#7
It was very much that way with me for as long as I was with my parents. I was not supposed to talk about any problems about my family to anyone else. Also my parents were very much into lying a lot, especially my father. If I had confronted them about lying, they would say that "I'm talking foolish". On the other hand, I got a good scolding if they found out I lied to them.
I can very much relate to "keeping the emotions in". Whenever I got yelling at them, they would tell me that they will put me into an institution. Because expressing myself being mad was not normal and it was considered a mental case. |
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Anonymous445852, Fuzzybear, partyofone, Rohag, Thirty shades
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Fuzzybear, partyofone, Thirty shades
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Anonymous445852
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#8
I think both my parents did the best they could with what they knew. From their perspective I can understand a bit, but not all of it.
I relate to the shame, blame, and I was also told I'd be shamed for something, never really understanding what they meant. But that feeling of "hide", I get you on that. Hide the emotion or you'll be told your stupid, or weak. Hide, from their chaos. I hope you do get peace from this. |
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Fuzzybear, partyofone, Rohag, Thirty shades
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Fuzzybear, partyofone, Thirty shades
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Rohag
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#9
When I was young I was torn between urges to speak up and hide. Perhaps poorly socialized, I too often spoke up in ways that marked me as odd. Through the years - and it required many years - I have become much more careful with when, where, and how I speak. Now I am mostly a recluse. __________________ My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it. |
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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#10
Quote:
I think I am much more careful now where, when, how and with whom I speak __________________ |
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MickeyCheeky, Rohag, Thirty shades
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MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades
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Grand Magnate
Thirty shades
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#11
Odd? I think I have been called this... Certainly treated that way
Why do they judge us? Why can we not be accepted AS IS? Grrrrr I prefer to be a recluse too.... Hugs to all who have been called or made to feel this way |
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Fuzzybear, Rohag
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Fuzzybear
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partyofone
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#12
That sounds familiar, Rohag, that oscillation between the inclination to speak up and hide. The periodic assumptions of oddness by others and a tendency to be a recluse feel familiar too. I know how difficult this can be. My dogs help with the recluse part . . . wonder if yours do too.
Many hugs! |
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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Rohag, Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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#13
there is also some oscillation here. hugs and respect to all __________________ |
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Rohag, Thirty shades
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Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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#14
Quote:
hugs to all who have been treated this way __________________ |
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Rohag, Thirty shades
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Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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Posts: 96,300
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81.2k hugs
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#15
__________________ |
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Rohag, Thirty shades
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Thirty shades
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Grand Magnate
Thirty shades
Much love to all
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
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#16
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Fuzzybear, Rohag
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Fuzzybear
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