Looking for accountability partners, #4

Today I am relaxing with a good book and enjoying the sunshine. I am doing well. No anxiety right now.

I hope everyone is well and safe. Warm regards.

I've had a good day, very productive. I cooked a couple dishes, cleaned litter boxes and opened packages. I'm reading a book at the moment. Hope everyone is well!

It is very windy today (Monday). I seems like my wellbeing is dependent on my walks in the park. It is a fresh daily starter of the day (when the weather allows it). Fresh air, sounds from the birds, seing plants, trees, water and more is telling me that the world is still alive. It is as if it signals "Better times will come".

Since I cannot go out in this weather, I will open a window and do gymnastics in front of that window, now. Hope that helps me to get started. My plan is to hoover the hall, de-clutter the living room again, do the dishes, take some time to reflect on my sins (it is the silent week before Easter) and to use TV to distract from depressed thoughts.

I admit that these corona times make me feel stressed, but still there is some sort of a fighting spirit inside me.

I wish each one of you a good Monday with little stress!

The day has not been good. I did hoover the hall, but not much else.

Tomorrow, Tuesday, I hope the weather is well enough for me to take my morning walk. I will finish my grocery list, then do work in the home as best I can.

I hope you are able to cope with all the restrictions because of Covid-19.

So far my day has been good. I only slept for three hours last night, so I slept two more hours after breakfast. I have had good meals, have done gymnastics for 35 minutes and have walked in a park. Good weather today. I have done very little in the house, but that's me. It is OK to have a nice home, but not too nice. I never wanted to be such a clever housewife. To have a good education, taking care of my kids, play with them, read for them, give them a good taste for our beautiful nature was my primary goals. I cannot count how many dinners we have made out in nature during the years. I can now enjoy that the next generation is brought up with the same values as well. I feel proud that I made all this with a depression beneath the surface for many years! It did not come sailing along in a little boat, just to pick up. To make it I had to have patience, resilience and a will to fight ...

This beautiful day brought so many good memories! I had to sit down and enjoy them. I am waiting for my son to deliver my groceries. After that I will make dinner.

Plans for Wednesday:

Walk in the park after breakfast. De-clutter here and there. Relax. Watch TV crime.

I wish all of you a relaxed day, not thinking so much about Covid-19. ENJOY YOUR DAY!

I successfully managed the grocery store and bank yesterday, being careful all the while. I enjoyed sitting in the sun reading a book. I worked on the den a bit and did some inner work then cooked spaghetti. Today has been straight inner work with a tremendous breakthrough on something that had caused me pain for most of my life. Yay! I will continue on the den and read some more of my book.

Warm regards to all.

I have been busy. Yesterday I cleaned litter boxes and cleaned up in my kitchen. I also washed dishes and packed my computer. Today I took out the trash and shipped my computer off. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment. My ear is giving me trouble. Hope everyone is well. Stay safe and have a good day.

I am so glad on your behalf, Jennifer!

I know how hard it can be to work with oneself when there are some stones in the luggage. I did THAT work when I was a student and was very proud of making it.

My life became good, but one day a person became jealous at my successes and suddenly I was in front of a really big, big stumbling block; a mountain. Life does not always give us what we deserve! I fought with all my strength, but this mountain was too big. No normal person can fight a mountain and win. Still I think that if my first therapist had not been pensioned, it would have become possible to manage. I tried two therapists, but they did not take the time to know my experiences the way I needed. They had different theoretical frames for their work then the one that helped me as a student. So I had to go on suffering alone for a very looooong time.

Three years ago, however, I found one online that was able to empathetically take my perspective and push in the right direction. The therapy took about half a year, but we have kept the contact from time to time. To know that there is somebody out there that do understand the context of my history in life is a relief in itself.

I will try to continue to keep the feeling alive that I can be proud of the hard work I did once! I can walk with my back straight and hold my head high. I have nothing to be ashamed about!

Good luck, Jennifer!

I’m sad today. I have an appointment with an ENT specialist about my nosebleeds after 6 bleeds in 36 hours. I’m doing my inner work this morning and I’m leaving the day free after the doctor. I’m looking forward to free time to read and relax.

I hope everyone is well and safe. Warm regards to all.

I think it is important that ordinary people without depressions start to understand how much work it is to go to therapy. Many think it is about delivering the patient to a therapist so that the therapist can cure the patient. Nothing can be so far from thruth ...

Hard work, but with the right therapist! Hard work with a therapist that do not understand your problems leads nowhere (keeps focus at the wrong "places").

I think that there are many of us who can say like i did in my last post: " I can walk with my back straight and hold my head high. I have nothing to be ashamed about!"

God luck to each one of you in these Corona times!

Jennifer, nosebleeds can be dependent on vitamin deficiency. Vitamin K is a key. In cases where vitamin deficiency is an important cause, it is wise to eat lots of yoghurt (has vitamin K). Check it out if you want to ...


Good Luck!

Sorry you are feeling sad. I hope you've been able to relax and give yourself time. Sending good thoughts your way. May you recover quickly from the nosebleeds.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning. It looks like my ear ache is due to allergies. I will try Clariton for a while. I also ordered groceries today. I wanted comfort food and chocolate eggs for Easter. I also got potato salad and macaroni salad. And I have stuff to make sausage biscuits. I'm so excited. Hope all of you are well today. Stay safe.

The day has been good. I have not been doing much in the home, but I did the most important: I took my morning-walk in the rain. I was dressed for the weather so it did me good. I have eaten properly.


Plans for Maundy Thursday:

Do work in the home after breakfast. See an online sermon in the evening.

May your Thursday be a good one!

I ordered three chocolate eggs last week and ate all three at once. What a shame. I have only ordered one plate of chocolate for the rest of the silent week. It is going to last until Easter day and even after that.

Take care Deilla!

All goals met. Well, they where not many ... I feel OK and satisfied with my day. At Friday I shall have my morning walk, fill dishwasher, take a shower, watch a sermon online and more ...


Take care!

I had a slow, leisurely day today...spending all day outside in the sunshine surrounded by beautiful flowers and greenery. I read a good book. When I came in, I did a little housework and cooked dinner for my family. Tomorrow, I’m going to do much the same with more emphasis on housework, an online sermon and cleaning my car. I’ll cook dinner again and talk to my daughter then make plans for an amazing weekend. Doing well.

I hope everyone is safe and well. Warm regards.

I didn't do much yesterday. I did clean litter boxes though and I read some. Today I did some art and now I don't want to do anything. I may sleep, read or play games. I'm tired of housework. Hope all of you are well this Friday!

It was too chilly to be outside for long although it was a beautiful day so I carried on with my other plans. The day went well and the house is looking good. I think I’ll play the weekend by ear.

I hope everyone is well and has an amazing weekend.

I have never liked it! Housework is only something that has to be done from time to time, so it doesn't pile up. Since I have little energy because of low capasity in my lungs, I try to do it regularly, since I will not have enough breath to do physical work for a long time (it will be a long time if it piles up).

Try to reward youself, Deilla. Some housewirk and then something you like.

Take care!