Stuck in depressed mood last 15 years.

As the title describes,i am living with depression issues from school years till now,i don't have friendships from then,nor relationships,nor interests,no outside fun,living still in parents house,nothing seems to have a positive vibe for me so far.

Depression,Chronic Loneliness,lack of Self Confidence,no self loving,no self esteem,many self insecurities and many self doubts,i haven't try counseling,meditation,praying,or to get a diagnosis from a doctor still.

People see me and wondering why i look like this,why i'm too shy,quite,not talking much,i feel so uncomfortable in my job enviroment which has to do with lot of people everyday.I can't control feelings and emotions anymore,negativity,sadness,no future prospects so far.I go to gym and say just a hi,doing my thing and leave with a good night,bye.

I'm sorry you have been struggling for so long. You say you haven't tried counseling, meditation, praying, or getting a diagnosis. What is keeping you from taking those steps? I know it is scary and it takes a lot of energy, which sometimes with depression energy can be hard to summon. But sometimes these things can be helpful. What do you have to lose? HUGS Kit

I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH WHAT THE WISE AND WONDERFUL @SlumberKitty HAS ALREADY BEAUTIFULLY, SMARTLY, INTELLIGENTLY, KINDLY, GENEROUSLY, GLADLY, WISELY AND WONDERFULLY SAID BETTER THAN I POSSIBLY EVER COULD IN MY ENTIRE AND WHOLE LIFE! Please DO try out those things you've mentioned and see how it goes from there! You've certainly got NOTHING to lose and EVERYTHING to gain, right? Please give it a try! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @DarkPath, your family, your friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Please be kind to yourself and NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! I HOPE YOU'LL PROMISE ME THAT AT LEAST! PLEASE NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! PLEASE BE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY KIND TO YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO TREAT YOURSELF WITH LOVE AND KINDNESS! BE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY KIND TO YOURSELF AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY BEAUTIFULLY, WISELY, KINDLY AND WONDERFULLY DOING ALL AND ENTIRELY BY YOURSELF AND ALL AND ENTIRELY ON YOUR OWN! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY for what you're going through and that you're HURTING AND STRUGGLING SO BADLY! I TRULY, DEEPLY AM! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! KEEP IT UP!

I felt this way as a teenager. I thought it would never get better. But then I saw a psychiatrist, got a diagnosis of major depressive disorder, and started anti-depressants. It's amazing how much of a difference they can make. Medications don't help everyone, but I'm wondering why you haven't even seen a doctor about this.

Hi. I’m worry to hear. I can relate to a lot of it. It’s often a struggle for me too, and it has been since adolescence like you. You are always welcome in here and people will listen.

Childhood years had to do with bossy parents and this never helped me to make own choices that could give me plessure back,i suffered from being shy,alone,without can trust my self,with self doubts,self insecurities,inferiority issues.

Now,i have a mountain of personal issues to overcome,such all these complexes i suffer long time,i always feared to ask for help,visit doctors or talk anyway to anyone i can trust.

You are not alone DarkPath

Even trying to pick ourselves up is met in many places with a kick back down.

I hope you can find support here.

We understand how you feel.

There are days when I feel I should be a bigger part of the world but others when I know it's best to stay home and accept that its the only true safe place for me. I try to accept that being alone is better than being among those IRL who make you feel bad for not meeting their standards.

When I accept myself AS IS and if I can manage a little self love (something I am definitely struggling with, just now) then my life is about as good as it gets.

Hugs and kind wishes to you

Thank you for this wise post dear Thirty Shades.

I'm sending kind thoughts, DarkPath.

It's sad indeed when trying to pick ourselves up is met by a kick back down. :-( Some who do this may be clueless but others do it intentionally.

We are understanding of how you feel.

I'm sending kind wishes, respect and hugs

I can't stand loneliness,chronic loneliness,people think i'm weir'd,too quite,too shy.I don't even have a friend all these years.

Loneliness is very hard. IRL many do think we are weird for being quiet and shy.

Many understand how you are feeling here because we have the same experience.

We are AS IS....

People seem to understand disabilities that are visible but struggle with hidden mental illness. CEN is ( I believe) neurological in nature. It causes severe depressive episodes and is a big challenge.

I am sending kind thoughts

Main issue is the lack of communication skills,i'm too shy,not much talkative,introvert,fearful and feeling pretty weak to take any action,even to say a hello or hi to someone.

I hate social media so when they ask me my fb,instagram,or whatelse i say i don't have,cause i like to keep my daily life more private and safe.

I can't escape from loneliness.

Social media isn't very healthy....

I prefer being lonely to losing my privacy too. Much of what people post is fake or made to look more than it really is.

Have you tried any books or websites to gain social skills? Or maybe you are happy to accept yourself as you are?

I find I am happier, even though on my own, when I accept myself and offer self love.

Have you heard about your inner child?
Could you try bonding with your inner DarkPath?
CEN has made my inner TS fairly needy.
It does help to spend time with her...

I'm boring of self help books,they are mostly waste of time and with methods they don't work in real life,i still cannot accept my self as i am.

Dear Dark Path,

I am a new member as well in this wonderful community.
Being depressed is tough and it feels like a big shadow over you. But please remember all the blessings you have, try and see the brightside, and if anything i am more than happy to hear your thoughts and feelings., so i can politely share my opinion and thoughts with you. Remember that anything you FEEL is HUMAN and NORMAL. I am here to help

Take care, be safe and try to love yourself you deserve it.

I need acceptance,i seek acceptance,but i lack in basic areas skills.

What solutions can i try even if it's too late now?

Loneliness is unbearable,why nobody ask me to be friends or go out with?

Better late than never.