[Rose76]

I have a sore arm that got a lot worse. I'll go in and see my PCP and hope she'll order me some Indocin. It's a miracle drug for me. But it can aggravate GI bleeding which has been an issue for me.

I'm starting to get depressed. All over this pain.

I don’t think I’m handling anything right.

[Buffy01]

I don't know what I am feeling today. My emotions are a rollercoaster.

[3rd rock]

Well, that wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I'm very tired, though.

[Yzen]

Not much better today. I am trying to get myself out of a bad place where new incidents keep weighing me down further. I am hoping something good will happen today to help pull myself out of this.

[Rose76]

My new smart phone loaded up Psych Central in a new mobile format that I don't completely understand. I don't know how to do hugs on this, but (((hugs))) to all who are struggling.

My arm still hurts, but I'm not depressed. I'll see my PCP tomorrow. Maybe she'll hook me up with adequate pain meds. Plus, I'm finding more ways to avoid using my r. arm.

My home made chicken soup came out good last night, which makes me happy.

They might be pushing me out of training soon. I think my trainer wants to be doing better things instead of training me. I don’t feel ready to do the work on my own. I feel abandoned and thrown to the wolves.

There are a lot of social dynamics in my department that are complicated and feel triggering to me. It was a ****** day.

I think I have a lot of complex trauma.

I just ate my dinner in my car. I feel sad and isolated. I think I am a toxic person.

I no longer speak with my brother. It’s my fault. I’m the black sheep of the family so he is always siding with my parents. He is the good kid in my family. Anyway something came up where my family went behind my back and decided he was going to get something I didn’t. I said to him that my parents must like him more.

I’m thinking of just removing him from my social media following so I don’t have to think about him abandoning me anymore. It’s not like we ever really spoke anyway.

It amazes me how easy it is to lose all contact with people. We don’t know each other’s addresses. Without the social media, there are no other connections. (Maybe phone but still.)

I feel lost beyond hope. I’m certainly a toxic person. Someone said a good way to know if someone is not crazy is to check if they have at least one close person. I have no one. I haven’t had anyone ever. I don’t even know if my friend counted. My friend is one of those people who if you sever the social media, you lose all contact.

I need friends/love but I know I am toxic. So I stay away. I don’t even know where to start.

[Breaking Dawn]

@the walls, can you become a volunteer somewhere that matters to you, & maybe find a friend among the other volunteers? This other person would probably share similar feelings about this mutual interest. Just one day a week for a few hours. You could try it & see what happens, meanwhile doing good for a cause you believe in. Good luck!

[DechanDawa]

Before dawn woke up drenched in depression, called crisis hotline, got good support, plan for day...some smooth sailing...out in sunny beautiful day...later...terrible, terrible phone call from friend who spewed toxic waste all over my mood...plunged into despair...called crisis hotline...AGAIN...got some great insight and inspiration. One of the most wonderful things about the state where I live is an awesome 24 hour crisis hotline staffed by warm, wise counselors. You can call as much as you want, it's free, and frankly, a lifesaver.

Sorry for posting. I probably trigger the **** out of people.

[Yzen]

Originally Posted by the walls

Sorry for posting. I probably trigger the **** out of people.

Keep posting, the walls. Things are messy and people on this thread can relate. And, you are not a toxic person.

[3rd rock]

My first two days back at work were quite tiring, but otherwise uneventful. I owe the government some money in back-taxes for last year, so I need to get back to full time work as soon as possible. I expect this will be the case by the end of April.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling really down and depressed again. Nothing feel good anymore.

[Breaking Dawn]

Not doing really wonderful right now. I'm sorry. I wish all of you so much.

[giddykitty]

I'm scared. Watching a scary show and it was pretty disturbing to me. It is kinda interesting though to see where my limits are. Some stuff that others think as scary don't scare me as much. Weird huh?

[will19]

The morning started off kind of rough. When I first took off for work I had forgotten my key for the front gate at where I live. I realized that I had put that key in my sweat pants pocket when I took a bike ride yesterday and then I forgot to put that key back with the other keys. And then shortly when I got into work, the IT guy called me from his home and had me to get a power plug in his office. I didn't know where it was and couldn't find it. Once in a while he does that to me and I can't stand it.

Well later in the day, some better things happened for me. I checked on my State Income Tax that I did a month ago and thought that I would have to pay about $110. I caught an error that I did (I did it by pencil, rough draft) and now I will get a little bit of money back! And then, when I got home, I was able to call a woman neighbor of mine and she let me in the gate. She's such a nice woman. Not because she let me in, but because she's always so pleasant.

Worked out after work today and my dinner turned out very well.

[Yzen]

I am feeling a little better this weekend. I hope today turns out better for all of you.

[will19]

Not much of a day other than cleaning and shopping. Felt pretty depressed today, that's about it.

[3rd rock]

I was feeling good earlier today, but now I feel sad for no reason. I got some work done on my current projects today. I have very high cholesterol, which my GP warns will lead to heart disease in 20 years if left unchecked. However, I'm not worried, because my worsened cardiovascular health over the past year has been the result of being off work for nine months. Now that I've returned to my physically demanding job, I expect my health to improve significantly. Not only am I getting good exercise daily, I'm eating less due to being at work where I can't and don't eat much all day.