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Default Apr 21, 2020 at 02:32 AM
  #961
Feeling better than last week I guess. But very physically tired.

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Default Apr 21, 2020 at 04:29 PM
  #962
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Originally Posted by Spirit of Trees View Post
Feeling better than last week I guess. But very physically tired.
I wish that I felt like this.
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Default Apr 21, 2020 at 04:30 PM
  #963
I been feeling depressed again.
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Default Apr 21, 2020 at 04:33 PM
  #964
Down. It’s time to accept the way things are. So depressed and trapped.

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Default Apr 21, 2020 at 05:47 PM
  #965
I'm to the point of don't you dare ask me how I am.

It's not a good place to be in. I just wish physically I felt better
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Default Apr 21, 2020 at 10:54 PM
  #966
I felt better today than yesterday. Busier today at work than yesterday, but still pretty boring, though I do like my job. Tuesdays seem to be better than Mondays.
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Default Apr 22, 2020 at 01:16 AM
  #967
I talked to my PCP today. She was more understanding than I expected. She gave me an advance on my Vicodin prescription. That plus the Ritalin I just got refilled helped me pull out of the miserable rut I was in. Now I'm feeling not too bad.
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Default Apr 22, 2020 at 10:35 AM
  #968
I want my phone to ring!!! Of course from the right person. I am in pain and I want away from pain.
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Default Apr 22, 2020 at 12:11 PM
  #969
Not sure how I feel right now. Maybe better than last week.
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Default Apr 22, 2020 at 10:59 PM
  #970
Very boring day today along with feeling discouraged about the Corona Crisis progress. Little things happened to lift my spirits a bit today.
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Default Apr 23, 2020 at 03:43 AM
  #971
I was ok with my dreams. But they're the same dreams every single night for years. Standing up to myself in school and being myself. They're starting to become horrible nightmares and are destroying my wakefulness.
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Default Apr 23, 2020 at 10:56 PM
  #972
Slow at work today, but I guess that has to be expected.

I told someone at work of a place I was planning to check out to see if I want to move there in the future. I told her the place and she looked it all up. Afterwards, she told me that what she read of that place, it sounded terrible. I felt like she was shooting down my dream. I knew that there were some things about that place that I might not like. No place to live is ever going to be perfect. I can't say that she's totally wrong because I haven't been to that place yet. But I may go there and either like it or not. There always has to be somebody to shoot down future plans no matter what it is. That upset me for most of the day.
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Default Apr 23, 2020 at 11:00 PM
  #973
Today was intense. Started off rough with my thinking then a trip to the ER and released without talking to the doctor just before I left. And I talked with my med provider and few changes. Which I am happy about. But being in pain is no fun!!! Not getting things done doesn't help.

But the main thing is that I am safe
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Default Apr 24, 2020 at 10:58 AM
  #974
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Originally Posted by puzzclar View Post
I want my phone to ring!!! Of course from the right person. I am in pain and I want away from pain.
I can relate, hugs.
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Default Apr 24, 2020 at 04:41 PM
  #975
I called in sick to work today due to the toxic work environment making my depression at work much worse. Yesterday the rampant favouritism and marginalization made me feel very sad and angry. I'm sick of other people who are very lazy and mean taking advantage of my work ethic and credit for my hard work. I'm also sick of many others who all work much less hard than me being given opportunities that I'm not. They know that I don't like my current assignment, but they keep me there every day even while others are given opportunities, sometimes permanent, to work in other assignments. Management insists that I should be thankful just to be working there at all, and react very angrily at the suggestion the company is not paradise on Earth. I feel like I have no way out. My psychiatrist has been saying I need to find a job elsewhere, although he acknowledges this is impossible right now due to mass unemployment and businesses closed due to Coronavirus. But I also can't withstand the toxic work environment and the bullying. I have nowhere else to go, but I can't stay. I have no way out of this. I've been trying to push through it until my writing career takes off, but that seems like it'll never happen.
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Default Apr 24, 2020 at 11:43 PM
  #976
A very slow day again today. Someone brought in pizzas (assorted) for lunch which was nice. It was good but a little bit too rich for me. Maybe it's because they wanted to honor us who come into the site instead of staying home. At least that's what I think.

Today I felt like I may have saved a honeybee's life at work. One got inside and tried to get out. The bee was at the back door from the inside. I opened the door and then it got tangled in a cobweb. I had a notebook in my hand and just swiped it out. The bee got free and flew up in the air. So glad of that because we need all of the honeybees we can get.

I worked out after work but felt tired because it's hot outside. We went from winter to summer this week in no time! Now there's nice clear skies with a "thumbnail" moon.
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Default Apr 25, 2020 at 07:13 AM
  #977
I feel like maybe I should go to the hospital. But I don’t think I can guarantee that I can go to the one I want to and that my doctor is at. And the rest of the hospitals are all hell holes. Also the therapy bill I got a few days ago was over $300 and that does not include the 5 video chat sessions I’ve had, or the Pdoc appointment I had on Monday. I am not currently working, So I don’t think I can actually afford to go to the hospital either. Also I don’t want to get the corona.

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Heart Apr 25, 2020 at 06:26 PM
  #978
Went shopping yesterday for things I needed. It had been 3 weeks since the last time I had been out, except to get the mail, which I seldom open lately. I have extremely low energy, due to not enough sleep & feeling exhausted, physically & emotionally. I'm pretty sure I fall into a common category right now. I pep talk to myself, & read uplifting quotes from the internet, & sometimes I cry. I'm sorry I kind of disappeared for a while. I thought about you all the time.
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Default Apr 25, 2020 at 10:24 PM
  #979
Was very busy today and very hot outside. The heat saps my energy. After breakfast I went shopping. After shopping I did the housework. When I was going to have lunch, I discovered that I got ripped off by the grocery store. I bought a candy bar and the clerk didn't put it in the bag.

After lunch I went to visit my friend. He lives in an area that seems hotter than where I live. It was an alright time. I gave him some food items that I had previously bought and didn't like. And he gave me a mask (I finally have one!) and a big roll of paper towels. I couldn't get paper towels when I went shopping.

Nothing at night. I'll just watch a movie. I'm going to watch an old "TV movie" that I saw back in 1971.
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Default Apr 26, 2020 at 01:09 AM
  #980
I just finished the first draft of my current book. I wrote 2,000 words today. I've got a lot of work ahead of me in rewriting, editing, and adding, with a lot to be better fleshed out. I don't know how long it will take me to do this, but I aim to have it finished this summer. Then I can get back to despairing over my lack of success.
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