I feel well this morning. I have used my "sun-lamp", have rested a bit after breakfast and will soon take a walk in the park. My optimism about that I will be able to fight my SAD is still there.

I have been able to work at home in intervals today. For now I feel really tired, but well. I think that for me the worst I can do is to skip he most important routines of my daily life. (I have several physical diseases that eat my energy). I was at a wonderful party last weekend, but was too tired to do ordinary things like putting "things" in the dishwasher and so on the following days. Then I made a speedily arrival in my always underlying SAD at this time of the year.

It is a relief to see that I am on my way to get back order in my life. I will sit and relax for a while before I will make my dinner for today.

I am so glad that we have PC to help us in situations like these ...

[will19]

Felt emotionally low today. At work it seemed like all kinds of people were talking about being away for Christmas time. I'm going to be stuck at work during a week when it seems like no one's around.

Also at work we're having a phone meeting every week for a while that I feel like I don't fit into. It's with the maintenance guys and I don't do maintenance. I'm clerical; receiving and outgoing of mail and packages. It's a big waste of time for me to be at those phone meetings. At it's at noon also which is not a good time.

I worked out after work. That was the only time to feel fairly good.

[Mountaindewed]

I am very down in the dumps today. It surprisingly has nothing to do with work despite the fact I have a retail job and it’s the holidays. It was hard waking up, hard leaving my house, I didn’t get any chores done around the house. Things were just rough.

[will19]

Just a typical Saturday today. I have been dealing with a headache for most of the day. It rained all day today, so no bike riding. Just took a little walk by the end of the afternoon. Feeling very tired today and alone. I just hate that feeling.

[Marla500]

I am feeling really low today. I feel alone too, and I'm not sure why since I've always been an introvert and a pretty solitary person but lately I feel alone. I think that might be a good thing if it makes me more social in the long run. but today I feel really down and it is a huge effort to even move. It helps so much to come on here and read everyone's posts. I wish you all peace and resolution of what ever you are dealing with and may today be a good day!

[Deilla]

I feel productive today. I've been busy organizing and cleaning my place. I like it when I accomplish small goals. It helps make the day feel better.

[Yzen]

I'm feeling better than I have felt in the last two weeks. Thankful.

I feel tired and not so optimistic as I felt at Friday. I will still try to fight the SAD.

[will19]

It rained for most of the day today. But I was very busy. Did the laundry in the morning. After that I did some light shopping. I bought a couple of small tables that I needed. Right now I'm very happy with what I got. Also I talked to my sister. She sounded a bit down and tired.

Last night I took a walk at the park near where I live to see a "festival of lights". It wasn't that great as they make it out to be. I went by myself and felt odd as all I saw were couples and families. I didn't stay very long and watched a movie later on that wasn't that good.

Now it's not raining and it hasn't rained for the last 2 hours. Maybe I could get a one-hour bike ride in before it gets dark. Also it's supposed to rain again tonight.

[3rd rock]

I finally got around to burying my budgie, Dolly. I kept putting it off but I did it.

I am honing my killer instinct. So that it works for me and not against. There is an in house posting for the job I want to get promoted to. So I am applying, and will write a careful, steady, and reasonable cover letter while giving them a updated resume of how I have been working towards the next job. I need to figure out my next moves after this. The amount of effort it takes to smile at work and look like a normal person, neat, tidy, with a certain soulfulness, is tiring. So is getting along with my coworkers. They trigger me. But I will be the most beautiful and smart person and I will get along with everyone. The cover letter should express how I have been working, that I have the terminology and knowledge, and that I am merely expressing an interest in the position and hope to someday train for it.

This Christmas season I bought myself two reasonably priced presents. One is good for my soul and career, the other is a stuffed animal (a strawberry!) that I actually regret buying even though it was only 10 dollars. I have long wanted something to cuddle with. But now that I do, I feel spoiled. The daily tears came and I did not cuddle it. I hugged myself instead. Maybe I just am not in the habit of hugging a toy. Perhaps I'll give it to charity.

I'd like badly to see a ballet or orchestra performance, too. And I'd like a sweater from Zumiez that says " A Lost Cause" on it, or "The Road To Nowhere". I also want a new skateboard.

I'd better save that spending for later! Christmas season is coming up, and all I ask for are actually essentials, like new socks. Most of my socks have holes.

I'm feeling better about going home. I've planned it out and I will be neutral and detached. I don't expect their understanding or kindness. It's more like a business trip than anything else. I think I should get them a small gift though.

[Deilla]

I'm worried today. I have a dental appointment later. I really don't want to leave my house but I will try to go. It makes me anxious.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm doing ok.

Tired, but OK.

[will19]

From the middle of the night early this morning until late this afternoon, I felt like I had a string of weirdness just happening. In the middle of the night I got woken up by what sounded like a dial tone and then a phone ringing that was real loud. I've heard it from cars before, but this one was real loud. And then I had a weird dream just before having to get up.

I went to another site's discussion board this morning (although this site is much better than that one) and it had been shut down. There was never an announcement that it was going to close, but I wouldn't have been surprised if it was. It was back on tonight, but no explanation.

Work was kind of slow today. Also something happened that upset me at work and ruined the day. I worked out after work and that made me feel a little bit better.

[Deilla]

A little anxious. I have to go to the pharmacy today. And I need a few things while out.

I think I have control over my SAD now (that means that I think I will be able to find the balance during my days that I need to not sink deeper into it). Thanks to all being here and who have given me hugs while I struggled to get in under control!

[kumy]

I just slept two hours, so not the best start for my day. But today I see my T and I hope that, together, we can make it better.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm doing ok. And, like Singer47, I appreciate all of you. Hugs to you all!