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puzzclar
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Trig May 08, 2020 at 11:52 AM
  #1
I have been approaching another crisis. And i want to hide from what I feel. IS that possible??? Sooner or later it will catch up to me.

Possible trigger:
I hate my life.
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Default May 08, 2020 at 12:03 PM
  #2
Dear Puzzclar,

I am so sorry! I hope you discover what is going on with your digestive system. I wish your therapy session had gone better.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Default May 08, 2020 at 09:03 PM
  #3
Thank Yao Wen

I have not really told my parents that the world seems to be falling in... they wouldn't understand. I should just call and talk but I don't want to. As I am afraid T will say what I don't want to hear. Or I say the wrong thing. I"m crazy worried. And obsessing about it isn't helping.

I"m down and I don't want to go up. I turned in a paper that took a lot out of me and they expect me to write about death.... can we say NO!! Not know.

Why can't anything help?? I don't want to go inpatient.
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Default May 09, 2020 at 03:21 PM
  #4
School shouldn't be torturing you the way it is. Are you sure this is the right program for you? Maybe you need a break to recover and reassess your career goals.

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Default May 10, 2020 at 12:40 AM
  #5
I have that same question. I am taking a leave of absence. I don't know my plans. I don't even know if I have the right job for me. I'm scared that all I'll be is a.... I can't bring myself to type it. I feel lost and alone.

And I have been keeping the sui thoughts to myself. I barely told my t. How can I tell my parents. I did tell my sister.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared that I'll need to be hospitalized, like I always do. It's intermittent, the sui thoughts. If they were constant I'd be more concerned. I'm trying not to call my T. I don't want to hear, it's time to go in to the ER. I want the problems to disappear!
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Default May 14, 2020 at 02:00 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzclar View Post
I have that same question. I am taking a leave of absence. I don't know my plans. I don't even know if I have the right job for me. I'm scared that all I'll be is a.... I can't bring myself to type it. I feel lost and alone.


Sometimes it takes people a bit longer to figure out what they want to do. It took me years. There's nothing wrong with that.

A break may help you figure out your path.

Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzclar View Post
And I have been keeping the sui thoughts to myself. I barely told my t. How can I tell my parents. I did tell my sister.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared that I'll need to be hospitalized, like I always do. It's intermittent, the sui thoughts. If they were constant I'd be more concerned. I'm trying not to call my T. I don't want to hear, it's time to go in to the ER. I want the problems to disappear!


Suicidal ideation don't always require a stay in hospital. Would it help to discuss it without the threat of hospitalization?

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Default May 14, 2020 at 02:54 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_little_didgee View Post

Sometimes it takes people a bit longer to figure out what they want to do. It took me years. There's nothing wrong with that.

A break may help you figure out your path.



Suicidal ideation don't always require a stay in hospital. Would it help to discuss it without the threat of hospitalization?
That would be wonderful, but it's always in the back of my mind and I have obsessed over it for many years. How do I get out of the loop?

I'm waiting for an appointment with T and wondering how it will go. I'm scared that the email will not be received well. I don't think he will overreact but he could.

I have done a meditation, and noticed my heart beating in my ear. I heard every beat! I'm trying to calm myself with out meds. But I have thought about going downstairs. One problem is it will take longer than I have because of the boot being off from my injured foot.

I just want to scream and hide.
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