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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 11:52 AM
  #1
Last one is over 100 pages here's a new one
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 11:55 AM
  #2
I'm mostly down today.... And I want to email my T but that is something I don't really want. I know my safety is an issue and I know the plan but gosh darn it I don't like the plan
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 02:59 PM
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I'm feeling sad today. And I'm feeling useless and like I'm a waste of space. I'm sure that it is just the depression talking but it feels real.

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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 07:02 PM
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Last one only at 54 pages in default view.
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 08:01 PM
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I haven't been this beaten by life in a long time.
 
 
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 10:42 PM
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My stomach always seems to be upset.
 
 
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 10:49 PM
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Things have been out of control. Need to remember to control myself. I don’t really know how to deal with it except the usual issue, self injury. I think things have been really bad lately. I need to remember that I cannot pull it all off without some serious control. Ive been overemotional, made big mistakes, and feel disgusting about my overall self and have no idea what others see. Probably an unkempt angry person who is too arrogant for where they’re at. I don’t know what’s going on with my body, it’s never been great. I wish I were still prepubescent. I feel disgusting.
 
 
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 10:56 PM
  #8
Yesterday a guy in the department above me said he thinks I’d fit in there. It’s not like he really knows me well...

Today I looked at the women who are in that department and they are so classy and polished. True they are about 30years old. But I feel like I’m pretty much at my mid 20s now and I still can’t brush my hair daily. Sure maybe it’s because of depression but really it’s not a good look. My mother used to yell at me about my appearance. I probably won’t get promoted for my lack of social skills, lack of self presentation. It’s really not ok.
 
 
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Default Oct 12, 2019 at 05:57 AM
  #9
Not sleeping, like, one minute last night. Worried about how today is going to go, since I am so very sleep-sensitive. We will see...

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Default Oct 12, 2019 at 09:02 PM
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I'm doing pretty okay.
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Default Oct 12, 2019 at 09:28 PM
  #11
I don't like distraction.... I'm tired of keeping myself distracted. I'm tired of a lot of things. Yet I keep going. I'm down a lot and there has been no relief. Hopefully relief will come soon. But I doubt it.
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Default Oct 12, 2019 at 09:50 PM
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I was extremely busy this morning. Did a lot of cleaning this morning. My place really needed the cleaning after not doing it for three weeks. And lots of places to go for shopping and stuff.

Been feeling very down late this afternoon and tonight. For some reason, it seems like the people at where I live seem to have it more together than I do. I feel like I'm the only lonely fool at my place. There were times of extensive noise just outside my door. The couple next to me had a grandchild over and the kid was very loud.
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 10:24 AM
  #13
Depressed, still! Not really any change but I'm a bit less sui. But I still want to go to the er. Isn't it weird that I want to go when I don't necessarily need to.
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 04:02 PM
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I'm still doing pretty good.
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 07:25 PM
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Not much of an exciting weekend, even though I was busy both days. Today I put my weights together and packed them in my car. Someone at where I work wants to buy it. Unfortunately I was not able to put my bench in the car, since it doesn't fit. The buyer, I guess, doesn't really care if he gets the bench or not. But I wanted to get rid of it. This is kind of sad that after some 25 years, those weights are going to be out of my life. And it's all because of my neighbor having to complain about it.

I went for a three hour bike ride today.

Another dull weekend is about to come to an end. I dread going to work on Mondays, but I don't know why? I like my job. It seems like it's at work where I really have a social life. I guess that's the way it is for some people.
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 08:05 PM
  #16
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Originally Posted by puzzclar View Post
I'm mostly down today.... And I want to email my T but that is something I don't really want. I know my safety is an issue and I know the plan but gosh darn it I don't like the plan
I understand how you feel!
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 08:06 PM
  #17
My emotions has been up and down throughout the day!
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
I'm feeling sad today. And I'm feeling useless and like I'm a waste of space. I'm sure that it is just the depression talking but it feels real.
I understand how you feel! I feel the same way lately
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted by 2daffodils View Post
I haven't been this beaten by life in a long time.
I wish I could feel that way!
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Default Oct 13, 2019 at 08:18 PM
  #20
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Originally Posted by the walls View Post
My stomach always seems to be upset.
I understand! I don't know why my stomach becoming upset whenever I am feeling depressed or have anxiety. I thought I was the only one who did that!
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