Need advice on police from other Americans

So yesterday (Thursday) my IOP facility called the police on me because I am suicidal and refused to goto another inpatient facility. I managed to evade the police. They went to my house and camped out there for a while. They called my cell phone a few times yesterday. They even figured out where I work and my boss's name. They called looking for me and even came by. They called my wife this morning and left her a voicemail wanting her to call them.
My question is how long will the police typically keep this up before giving up? I do not want to go back to inpatient again.

I am afraid I can't answer your question. I know of your bad experiences with Doctors and Hospitals so I understand why you'd want to refuse to go inpatient. However, if you're feeling suicidal, I'd suggest you to consider that option and to check yourself at an Hospital. It is certainly better than the alternative, which is doing harm to yourself and others. I am not sure whether they'll stop checking on you or not since it is their job to make sure that you're safe. In any case, whatever you'll decide to do, we'll be here for you. please stay safe, my dear, sweet friend... You're worth it. You REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY are! PLEASE STAY SAFE!

Mickey I've been suicidal for 30 years. I told the "counselors" that as well but they didnt listen.

Wow, I'm surprised they tried so many different ways of trying to reach you. I don't know the answer to your question, but I hope that you are okay. HUGS Kit

Me 2. I thought after I avoided them all day and night yesterday they would give up.

I, too, hope the situation will improve soon for you, Twitch. Keep us posted, my friend!

I don't know what state you are in. I'm the state I live in? The police usually won't do anything unless they have a court order! Maybe forty right hours?

@Twitch99

(((safe hugs)))

I don't know the answer to your question, but I would guess that it depends on what exactly your IOP facility said to them, as well as what the laws are within that particular jurisdiction.

Here's what you can do as an alternative if the police continue to look for you: Find a different in-patient treatment center (perhaps in a different jurisdiction) that you feel safer with. Trauma treatment centers require a form from a therapist, so you may not have time for that right now. Other recovery centers may or may not require a form, so you can see which nearby in-patient treatment centers seem more safe than the one you absolutely refuse to go into. Chances are, you'll get better treatment at an in-patient facility outside of your jurisdiction; that is your right to your mental health treatment!

That said, if you've evaded police while in their custody, then they may put a warrant out (emphasis on "may"; they may not do that either). Either way, you can always seek treatment in a DIFFERENT jurisdiction for VOLUNTARILY going in-patient. Then, that will show proof that you want help for your conditions, but you just didn't trust the facility or the IOP you're currently working with. If you do have a warrant, or one is in the making, then your voluntarily seeking treatment in-patient elsewhere will help substantiate your case for better treatment, and substantiate your fears about the way your case has been handled. There's no way for you to know whether a warrant has been put out unless you call them directly OR seek in-patient treatment somewhere else (which is the safest alternative). You always have the right to file a complaint to the board, the OIG, or elsewhere, if you believe that you are being unfairly treated and/or misunderstood.

Hopefully you don't have a warrant, and hopefully you are able to find some safe alternatives.

I'm sorry you're going through this. ((((safe hugs)))

And, if you have the means, I'd try to get an attorney. Some can do probono work.

It largely depends on the size of the city you are talking about. If you are in a smallish town, they may stay after it for awhile, because they do not have as much to do. If you are in LA or Chicago, you're, like, number 5 million billion on their list of things to do. I agree with Lillib, though. You need to get an attorney forthwith. They can walk you through the rest of this.

The main thing, though, is your health. I really hope you get the help you need to deal with this suicidality. I suffer from a ton of SI and it is no fun. Please be safe and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Sending pos. vibes your way.

I like what the others here have suggested as well.

Please be safe!

Also, based on the title of your post, I'm wondering if you are considered "undocumented"? If so, you have other rights as well, and there are immigration attorneys and emergency immigration agencies that can help in cases like yours. I've heard of the traumas that some of my former undocumented peers had went through, and how they feared seeking support because of their status. That is so sad because many of them want help but have a hard time finding it without being targeted. It's a touchy subject these days, and I really feel for everyone who is struggling with mental health symptoms.

Please, if you still feel suicidal, seek help! If it is something that is just a thought or feeling but with no attempts or plans, then you can explain that to the next person or agency you seek help from. But it sounds like you need a lot of help - more than most of us here can offer - because of the statement you made about "evading police."

You don't want to get a negative record on top of all that you are going through right now. I can understand your frustration with the system and the way they are handling things, but the only persons that can help you with such delicate and legal matters are lawyers, immigration specialists (if that is your status), police (you can contact the police directly and tell them your situation; they actually might be more sympathetic than the IOP, believe it or not), and/or a different emergency room or mental health facility that is open 24 hours. If you call a hotline, they are likely to call police, however. So, based on the info you've provided us, which is limited, I'm sure, the only options would be some of the above.

Please be safe and get some help from trustworthy sources. Please keep us posted on the outcome of those things. Who knows - you may find better help and better treatment from all of this. But no one will know how to help if you avoid seeking help or avoid explaining the full scope of what you're going through.

I'm so sorry you are in this position. It's scary, I know. (((safe hugs)))

Lillib I was never officially taken into custody. I left before I was even "introduced"/shown to the police. So I never escaped police custody. Never once did they "stop" or anything to that effect. Once I left (in my vehicle) I noticed they went the opposite direction than I did, but no lights or sirens were on.
As far as trying a different facility...been there done that more of the same. Even was in a different state. I hope because I'm in a larger city over 1 mil people they will have better things to do over the weekend.

@Twitch99

Thank you for clarifying. It sounds like you are in an urban environment, so maybe you'll be free from their search soon. I'm sure they are all concerned about your well-being, but yes, sometimes officials (therapists, mandatory reporters, family even, hotlines, and police) go overboard with their assumption about your safety. Many people have suicidal ideation without plans, threats, or attempts; many people in such cases are often misunderstood and therefore misrepresented in terms of self-safety. It's sad when you're trying to benefit from treatment by being honest about your symptoms, but that your honesty is taken the wrong way and treatment gets stopped, changed to involuntary hospitalization, and/or terminated, when you need consistency, acceptance, understanding, and care.

But even if you didn't meet police, it may be that they can still find a court order or something to that effect; every jurisdiction differs, and each case depends on the information provided to police. I'd err on the side of caution and get as much support and help you need to deal with all of the above and that which we aren't hearing or understanding properly on PC.

I had to deal with police when I shared similar symptoms about 15 years ago. No one listened, but I still adhered to the rules. I went in as a 3-day-hold and got out. Some places will hold you longer, depending on your symptoms (or what you or others tell them).

How supportive is your family, your wife, your boss? Are you at risk of losing your job now? Can your wife speak on your behalf concerning safety, so that you can simply get cleared from all of this? Can you terminate the IOP voluntarily? --These are some of the questions that I'd be asking myself in your situation.

(((safe hugs)))

I hope that you can find rest and relaxation from all of this, and I hope that you can find comfort from those in your life who care about you. Maybe watch a movie with your wife or order take-in, or visit a friend somewhere who can be a shoulder to cry on, etc.

I'm sure that everyone wants what is best for you, just some people take it to the extremes. I'm sorry if I haven't understood you too well, but I can understand some of the fears you have since I've faced them myself a while back.

I have sought help before. A few times in fact but it never ended well. This IOP was a last ditch effort. (Quick side note I am a citizen) There is no help to be had for me. Everytime I try and seek help no one understands that I've been dealing with this crap for the better part of 30 years. So when I say I'm feeling suicidal well "what's new?" But rather than looking at the picture as a whole they want to focus on the very small and narrow window of the immediate. Never hearing "Yes i was feeling suicidal yesterday, but it has past today."
My family is trying to be supportive but they don't understand. My wife is pushing for inpatient because that's what everyone else is saying. I finally ended up having to tell her "What you are saying to me is the equivalent of telling a rape victim they have no choice but to live with their rapist. I can not put into words how traumatic inpatient is for me." Finally she agreed not to bring it up anymore. Although she doesn't understand why.

I've made it this far on my own. It looks like I am the only one I can rely on.

Earlier you said I sounded really messed up. Well not those exact words but basically that was the jest. And yes I am REALLY F'd up. This IOP did help to shine a light on more ways I thought were normal but aren't.

@Twitch99

I only suggested that you really need help, and you do! You are not alone in the struggle, but it may feel that way whwn all treatments have not worked for you.

I am sorry that those treatments were not working, and that inpatient is scary. I wished that there was a safe place you can express your emotions as outpatient.

I will say that there are coping skills you can try to help relieve some of your symptoms. Have you tried any of those?

What would good treatment look like for you? Can you describe that?

I have heard of people talk of coping skills but I honestly have no idea what that would be like for me. No one has ever taken the time to teach me that. Everywhere I have I have always been treated like "You've been here before you know the drill." When in fact no I don't know the drill. One reason I choose this IOP was because they said they were going to teach me coping skills. They never did. All they would do is address problems then that's that. "OK now that I recognize that's a problem how do I fix it?"
So I guess a good treatment would be 2 fold. 1 have someone actually listen to what what I'm saying. I want to be honest and say yeah I'm feeling suicidal and I want to die but I'm not going to follow through. And not have them freak out.
Then 2 teach me how to deal with this. Don't expect I know what to do because I don't. If I knew what to do then I wouldn't be here.
Yes I have dealt with this most of my life but no one has ever shown me how to. So I've just kept it bottled up and on bad days I just shut down. If that's what you do then I guess I'm good and don't need any help.
3rd one I just thought of ties back into the 1st one. I don't want you to care about my phyisical state I just want you to focus on my me tap state. I know it's hard to separate the 2, but if I tell you I'm feeling suicidal don't worry because of that help me figure why and how to stop it.

@Twitch99

That is so sad no one taught you coping skills.

Here are some skills that have helped me when feeling down or sui.

I would use a form of CBT that got me to list the triggering events that preceded sui, the emotions I felt after experiencing the events, the thoughts that occurred with the emotions that stemmed from triggering events, the negative consequences if I attempted or ruminated about sui, the alternative and good coping skills to replace sui like talking on PC online group, talking with supportive friends, distracting from the emotion by putting on a favorite show or finding something you enjoy, saying affirmations (good things) about yourself, taking a nap, journaling. You will also write a list that challenges your thoughts and emotions, such as if your thought is, "I feel hopeless," then your emotion is "I am sad and depressed," then your challenge is "I will get through this; this is not my fault; I am not hopeless; people love and support me; I can ask for my needs like some praise when I feel I am only receiving judgment; I can identify my triggers and use boundaries to ensure my safety from those triggers; I can find something to focus on that is pleasing or comforting for me until I speak with my therapist regarding these issues "

I am on my cell, so I am not explaining all these that well, but I wanted to demonstrate a little of what one form of coping looks like. There are many others too.

I will rewrite this, but would you like to try this online here with us? We can help you with some things we learned.

I hope you are okay. Please keep us posted. We may not know each other well, but I am sure that a lot of people here care and want to help in some way. We may not always have the best answers, but maybe one of the answers from one of the people here might help you.

Hello, Twitch99. Long ago my old psychiatrist, who has since retired, told me that inpatient "would not be therapeutic" for me. He wasn't impressed with his own system.
I'm following your story in hopes the situation develops in positive ways impossible to foresee at present.

It seems like they finally gave up. I didn't hear a single thing from them Saturday. I suspect they have better things to do than to deal with someone that's suicidal.