Feel like I'm lost

Hi, this is my first time I'm posting here. If there any mistake in my post, please let me know. I'm 21 years old and I'm a university student. This is a very hard time for me. I had a relationship with a girl at the university and now it's broken. I love her more than anything because she is the reason I was happy after a long time and she loved me too no doubt about that. But she left me because I'm limiting her freedom and I always had some trust issues but she didn't have anything like that. I thought that now my life is going to be great because of her but eventually, it became worse. Now I realized what happened between us. My parents love me very much I can't explain that. But they are also limiting my life, freedom, too many rules, so I thought that is the best way to treat a girl too. But I was wrong, I lost her. Sorry about this story I want to tell everything, no one is ready to listen to me even my parents. They punished me and blamed me when I try to explain my feelings

Now I feel like I'm lost out nowhere. My parents don't listen to me, they cared about me but it's like they abandoned me. Why they didn't understand what I'm going through, they just want from me is studying. How the hell I'm going to do that. From one side I lost my girl and from the other side, I'm losing my parents. But I want both of them, I want my girl and my parents back. Now I'm losing my studies, I didn't attend any lectures or anything, I can't do those, I can't pay attention to anything, things I did for joy and happiness it's all gone, I have no interest in anything, I feel tired of being trying I'm tired of everything. Every day I dream about how I'm going to kill myself or hurt myself and what is gonna be like after I kill myself. The only relief I'm getting is when I cried until I feel tired. I took the depression quest on this site and it shows 'Severe depression' when I'm trying to talk about that with my friends they laugh at me and said ' you have no depression it's all on your mind'. There are many things I want to talk about this but I think that I already went too far when typing this post.

Hello Voodoo: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. One forum, here on PC, you might take a look at would be the Childhood Emotional Neglect forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/child...ional-neglect/

You may also find the Relationships & Communication forum to be of interest:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

And then here are links to 7 articles, from Psych Central's archives, 2 on depression, 2 on childhood emotional neglect, & 3 on healing from heartbbreak:

Depression: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central

Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings | Psych Central

Childhood Emotional Neglect: The Fatal Flaw

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...ional-neglect/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/help-o...om-heartbreak/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...tional-wounds/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-way...-broken-heart/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Dear Voodoo, First of all, I'm so glad you're here with us at PC. This is definitely the right place for you, so that was a great decision. Secondly, losing someone we love, no matter how, is just about the hardest thing there is. But, time does heal us, gradually. Meanwhile, do whatever you can to help yourself feel better. Think of the things you normally like to do. Do you enjoy music, movies, nature, spiritual things, theme parks? Maybe join a fun club at school? I know it hurts. But you need to get some sunshine into your heart
to help heal you. I wish you all the best! Lots of hugs!

Welcome to pc. I'm sending hugs and kind thoughts