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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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Nov 29, 2019 at 09:14 PM
#1
What do you think of this cliché? The parental units almost never spoke to me UNLESS in clichés
  ''if you can't beat them, join them''    
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 Skeezyks, Thirty shades, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
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Nov 30, 2019 at 04:02 AM
#2
Grrrrrrrr... Yes cliches, my MU had loads. I feel for you having words used as weapons against you
 If you can't beat them, join them? Would I want to beat them? I am happy being equal to another person.... The phase is used when I am sure I would not want to join them.... I would be happy if they wanted to be equal also..... Hugs and respect
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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Z
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Nov 30, 2019 at 10:55 AM
#3
I don't like that saying, except perhaps in a joking context. It is essentially saying you should go with the crowd and I completely disagree. The world is beautiful because we are all different and especially because people go against the grain. Every great invention came from a mind that was once considered mad.
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Disreputable Old Troll
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Nov 30, 2019 at 07:02 PM
#4
My father loved sayings... many of them derogatory.
 He didn't necessarily direct them at me (or anyone else) directly. But you pretty-much always got the idea he had you in mind. Here's just one "great" example (I don't know where he got this from):"If you were as low in stature as you are in character, you could walk under a snake's belly with a stove-pipe hat on!"  
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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| Fuzzybear, Thirty shades, unaluna
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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Dec 02, 2019 at 08:14 PM
#5
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
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Dec 02, 2019 at 10:26 PM
#6
Its so defeatist. Its so, shut up, stop being you and stop bothering me with your stupid problems. Can you tell ive heard it before in the given context?
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
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Dec 03, 2019 at 02:05 PM
#7
My mentor tried to teach me a great phrase to neutralize situations with my verbally abusive, gaslighting , tho highly successful 43 yr old son who controls access to my grandkids despite the fact that I was an elem teacher.
I try to appreciate the humor in this, but you have to say it with a straight face, “Thank you for your input” LOL. lOL. See, you can throw the cliches right back at them!!!! __________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
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Dec 03, 2019 at 03:09 PM
#8
I was told that, too.
What first comes to mind is that it might have been suggested to me when I was bullied and not accepted with the popular girls in elementary school. I didn’t take it as a negative thing, and thought it was said with good intentions. I think it is meant to encourage you to be manipulative. Like “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. If they didn’t like me, maybe I could get them to by becoming their follower and win them over. It didn’t work, though. Those girls just didn’t like me and continued to bully. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Poohbah
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Dec 03, 2019 at 05:12 PM
#9
I understand what you’re saying but she suggested that phrase as one to avoid further exacerbating the situation, like not waving a red cape in front of a bullWow, it’s SO hard to strike the right balance for oneself in complicated situations like hosting a holiday dinner with multi generations that have a really touchy history. I keep things as simple as I can, but things seem to get more challenging as we get older and I want to interact with my grandkids but am at a loss as how to deal w my overextended grumpy son who is uber controlling. I talked to a online therapist s office about taking us but I am in one state and he lives in another. Therapy would be a big deal and I already have my hands full in my own life. It’s the dilemma of where to draw your boundaries- always complicated.
__________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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Dec 03, 2019 at 05:29 PM
#10
I think ''thank you for your input'' can be a fitting response to a mean or deliberately useless statement. It gives zero emotional response which is what a bully wants.. they feed on emotion.
I think Tishabuv was replying re the cliché a parental unit had said to me (one of many... most of the others were more negative...) __________________
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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Dec 03, 2019 at 05:30 PM
#11
Quote:
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