I hate thought that go through my head

I have made some bad choices that have made my depression and anxiety worse than has ever been in my life. Due to constant thoughts about how i have made things the way they are in my life, what I have made others have to deal with my choices has made even more depressed and anxious. Dealing with being more depressed and anxious makes me think of making more? Based on how view things I guess? I tell myself this not really wanted it to. My life was ok, dammit. It's As if I can't save myself from myself. I had a job that was stressful had a chance to have things changed maybe for the better. Really what is I was at a point i was taking care of myself with my rescue dog better. I have let myself go. I don't like myself for all that I have done. I don't take off myself like I used to. I may shower every 5 days or more, don't get of bed until I have maybe 15 minutes to go to work, on my days off it is a struggle to get my dog out to go potty. I used to be top of all of it. I can't seem to make myself get better. I have seen counselors for over 7 months was told I see things black and white. I can't seem to stop seeing it that way. I know I am hard on myself but my brain keeps beating me up no matter what i do. I just don't see myself allowing myself to get any better. I had to share and get it out.

Thanks for sharing your struggle. I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find the strength to overcome what you are dealing with. Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, that offer suggestions for coping with the fatigue of depression & finding motivation when you're depressed:

5 Tips for Dealing with the Overwhelming Fatigue of Depression

5 More Tips for Dealing with the Overwhelming Fatigue of Depression

Tips for Finding Motivation When You're Depressed

5 Ideas for Boosting Your Energy When Depression Strikes

Do you have a psychiatrist by chance?

I have seen a psychiatric nurse who prescribes medications thanks for reply

Then I guess try being considerate of others whenever you're going to make an important decision. In that way you wouldn't be so stressed

Denvobee I'm trying to. I am so overwhelmed by it all. That it's hard to cope, that feeling is where everything is fight to get through. Like you have beaten yourself up and don't feel like your losing the fight. I have never really ever done something this horrible thanks for your reply

Thanks Skeez

I would like someone to set me straight I feel i cant with the thoughts that I feel about my companion dog. I already feel so guilty for things about the situation I have put myself and him. My emotional thoughts bother me about all this guilt. I already feel bad for leaving him to go to work. Then these thoughts like i have screwed up my life as well he is part of it. I have other thoughts I am going to do other things in my head, because I am not happy the way things are in my life. I oversleep and this makes it so he has to wait to go potty. Which also makes me feel guilty. I also have thoughts that I am trying to distance myself in ways. I hate having these thoughts. Please console me!