Chronic procrastination or severe apathy maybe?

Hi, I have a problem that i am not sure this is the right category to post to. For the last 10 years I have done nothing towards my career, its not like i dont want to but I cant focus on it regularly. I dont know how to explain, like I put good effort for like 3-4 days and then for the next 2 months I just waste time. The thing is I cant control this no matter how much I try but I cant I just freeze whenever i try to do something meaningful.

I did some freelance work over the years but lost so many opportunities due to this chronic procrastination or apathy sort of thing. I dont know what problem i have, I did some research and found these 2 problems.

Initially I used to thought, its because of video game addiction, social media and binge watching web series but 3 years ago I blocked all of these sources of gratification using a software but then I just kept staring at google homepage or google news constantly clicking and reading news.

I did improve alot for 2-3 months after reading a self help book but the same problem started again. I thought i would never go back to old ways i was so sure but it all went to vain.

Sorry for the long post but i am so fedup with this that i want to end my life but cant because when i think of my parents that option doesnt feel right. I cant even die.

Now my freelance career is also almost finished because I botched so many projects because of this problem. Now I need a job but for that I need to develop some more skills but I cant because of this problem.

What is wrong with me??

I am from india and its still a taboo to go to psychologist or something here where i live. Also i am afraid that i will become mad or something by taking medicines because i have seen people who go to them here gets worse.

The thing is I dont know what exactly is wrong with me, so if someone can help me just please let me know a term that can define my problem so i can research it further.

Hello robin: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. The Work & Careers forum, here on PC, may also be of interest to you. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/work-and-careers/

You asked about a term that can define your problem so you can research it further. Based on what you wrote, it sounds to me as though "procrastination" is as good a term as any. Perhaps what is needed here is for you to look further into the causes of procrastination? Here are links to 10 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of procrastination that (hopefully) may be of some help. The first 2 links are to articles by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. Included is a link to a quiz you can take on the subject of procrastination. The last link is to an article that talks about how to get motivated when you're stuck in a life rut:

Learn About Procrastination

Getting Help for Procrastination

Tips to Beat Procrastination

10 Simple Steps to Stop Procrastination

https://psychcentral.com/blog/procra...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/procra...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-p...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...-2-easy-steps/

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/procrastination-test/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-tip...in-a-life-rut/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

P.S. Upon further consideration, one additional term that, perhaps, may be applicable to your situation is: "self-sabotage". Here are links to 2 articles on that subject:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2...self-sabotage/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-we...age-ourselves/

Hi..have you ever researched ADD or ADHD? Both can cause chronic procrastination due to inability or fear of having to dedicate focus on something. If you have trouble focusing, you will subconsciously avoid those situations. You should definitely research this condition. Please don’t kill yourself. There is help and it’s not medication that’s gonna make you spaced out a looney!

Warm regards