advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Hi IM Dan
Member
Hi IM Dan has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: New jersey
Posts: 66
3 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 06:41 AM
  #1
What are some common reoccurring thoughts you struggle with?
Hi IM Dan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Artistic1, Fuzzybear, Thirty shades

advertisement
Rohag
Legendary
 
Rohag's Avatar
Rohag is always updating.
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,009
15 yr Member
15.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 06:49 PM
  #2
"What if χ happens? What will I do?"

__________________
My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
Rohag is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Artistic1, Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 07:38 PM
  #3
Too many to name, also I don't like sharing them.

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Artistic1, Rohag, Thirty shades, winter4me
Hi IM Dan
Member
Hi IM Dan has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: New jersey
Posts: 66
3 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 08:03 PM
  #4
Most the time I feel like a humiliation, like Im that guy you can guarantee you always get over on..
Hi IM Dan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Thirty shades
 
Thanks for this!
Rohag
Rohag
Legendary
 
Rohag's Avatar
Rohag is always updating.
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,009
15 yr Member
15.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 08:27 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi IM Dan View Post
Humiliation....
I frequently experience a vague, nonverbal sense of shame.

__________________
My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
Rohag is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Thirty shades, winter4me
Hi IM Dan
Member
Hi IM Dan has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: New jersey
Posts: 66
3 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 08:37 PM
  #6
Is it real rohag?

It feels so vivid and real to me. Humiliation.
Hi IM Dan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Thirty shades
Rohag
Legendary
 
Rohag's Avatar
Rohag is always updating.
 
Member Since: Feb 2009
Posts: 10,009
15 yr Member
15.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 09:19 PM
  #7
The feeling of shame is real, but it is muted. All my feelings are muted, blunted 99% of the time. Occasionally they explode in a kind of terror-rage directed against myself.

__________________
My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
Rohag is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 09:52 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rohag View Post
I frequently experience a vague, nonverbal sense of shame.
I think this originated from very early childhood (for me anyway) which is why a sub optimal bully therapist (irl) did not help....

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Rohag, Thirty shades
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2020 at 09:53 PM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi IM Dan View Post
Most the time I feel like a humiliation, like Im that guy you can guarantee you always get over on..
Maybe its their problem? Maybe they are insecure, bullies, enjoy putting others down to feel better about themselves

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Thirty shades
Thirty shades
Grand Magnate
 
Thirty shades's Avatar
Thirty shades Much love to all
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,798 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
16.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 02:59 AM
  #10
Nobody loves me.....

It is not true but it is still felt by my cub...

I challenge it but noticing the feeling arise seems to be enough to reinforce it.
Thirty shades is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, Rohag
Hi IM Dan
Member
Hi IM Dan has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: New jersey
Posts: 66
3 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 09:34 AM
  #11
Fuzzy, they are better than I that doesn't bother me at all, I just want to have my life back from this disease like the next person.

Thirty, Im not sure your definition of love, but there are people like us who also find all your quirks endearing and wouldn't mind spending their time with you, and who don't hold themselves any higher than the depressed struggling person you may be.
Hi IM Dan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
 
Thanks for this!
Thirty shades
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 12:52 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
Nobody loves me.....

It is not true but it is still felt by my cub...

I challenge it but noticing the feeling arise seems to be enough to reinforce it.
((((((((( Thirty shades )))))))))

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Thirty shades
 
Thanks for this!
Thirty shades
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 02:00 PM
  #13
“Better than” and especially “more or less valuable than” (re people) I think is an opinion and one I usually don’t agree with. Maybe that makes me not endearing, to some.

Thirty shades, I have always found you kind, true, caring, intelligent and respectful. To me that is endearing.

My cub was programmed the same way - to feel that

“nobody loves me”


“Noticing the feeling arising being enough to reinforce it

Can you say more?


(No need to reply, I think we both have shared experiences with family of origin and also professionals irl who do not value us or understand us....it puzzles me what some of these professionals are taught in their training... if they cannot listen or understand then they fail to support or help at the first hurdle/stage of therapy ... if they do not try to listen and understand

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Thirty shades
 
Thanks for this!
Thirty shades
Hi IM Dan
Member
Hi IM Dan has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: New jersey
Posts: 66
3 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 02:37 PM
  #14
In terms of therapy and therapists listening,

Heres my take. One can only describe the feeling or thought so well, to ask another if they understand is one way but I think we should concentrate on asking this person to explain what we mean back to us for comprehension, that is definitely is my miss when im in groups or therapy.

If one cant describe something its no one fault its lost in translation its a feeling, maybe one acquires a feeling to understand. In which case describe something else no judgements made. Or express your thought on my feelings and I can help describe it better listening is a two way street. Is it big.... car big or skyscraper big or a big pinecone

Im just rambling.
Hi IM Dan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
Thirty shades
Grand Magnate
 
Thirty shades's Avatar
Thirty shades Much love to all
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,798 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
16.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 04:24 PM
  #15
Fuzzybear my brain (like your own maybe?) sends a pain message with the thought "Nobody cares"

The therapists would expect us to a) notice it and b) challenge it.

Hearing it and counselling it seem to reinforce the message

My problem is that after I have followed both steps, I don't feel better and the feeling returns like a re-occuring nightmare. I have tried many times. I have come to the conclusion that it is a cry for self love. When I have a good spell of connection with myself the feeling is mostly absent.

Hi Im Dan, in our forest the therapists don't really listen or understand us. They get cross and tell us we are not thinking properly.

I think our feelings are messages from our inner self to express what is going on deep within ourselves.

I have being trying self love but it has been met with rejection. It is not that nobody cares but just someone has made me feel like they don't care. My brain thinks that means no-one cares.
Thirty shades is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
 
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 04:57 PM
  #16
CBT would expect us to notice it and then challenge it. The therapists in this forest tend to get cross and/or bored if we are not significantly ''cured'' after 6 to 10 sessions. Unless we are paying privately they would usually discharge and label at this point if not before. Some private therapists are willing to talk to someone for longer than this. I do not feel that many of them are anywhere near up to date with ''current treatments'' and I question the ethics of those I have seen personally (one of them was definitely unethical.) So a thought I struggle with is how many therapists in this forest are ethical. They want us to open up and ''trust'' them.... for some people it takes a long time to trust a therapist. Trust may have to be earned, it does not come automatically from a paper qualification. Sorry about the rant Of course, it could be that things have changed in the last 9 months or so, I do not keep up to date with the latest goings on in this forest irl re therapists. Sorry if I sound cynical.

hugs and respect

__________________

Last edited by Fuzzybear; Apr 15, 2020 at 05:11 PM..
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Thirty shades
 
Thanks for this!
Thirty shades
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 05:08 PM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
Fuzzybear my brain (like your own maybe?) sends a pain message with the thought "Nobody cares"

The therapists would expect us to a) notice it and b) challenge it.

Hearing it and counselling it seem to reinforce the message

My problem is that after I have followed both steps, I don't feel better and the feeling returns like a re-occuring nightmare. I have tried many times. I have come to the conclusion that it is a cry for self love. When I have a good spell of connection with myself the feeling is mostly absent.

Hi Im Dan, in our forest the therapists don't really listen or understand us. They get cross and tell us we are not thinking properly.

I think our feelings are messages from our inner self to express what is going on deep within ourselves.

I have being trying self love but it has been met with rejection. It is not that nobody cares but just someone has made me feel like they don't care. My brain thinks that means no-one cares.
Hi Im Dan, I agree with Thirty shades. she speaks the truth. The therapists in our forest do not really listen or understand us. They get annoyed or angry and tell us we are not thinking properly, we are not doing therapy properly, they cannot help us... (even ................. )

Dear Thirty shades, I'm sorry your snake has been rejecting the love you've been offering her.

Is this someone irl who has made you feel like they don't care? (no need to answer)... I am similar, if someone is very uncaring my brain can, at least for a while, globalise that into a feeling of being unworthy of being cared about. I think this originates from the ''failure'' of the primary ''caregivers'' Maybe we can work on this. There is something inside (snake?) who wants us to keep internalising the failure of the primary ''caregivers'' to care

I agree with you, I think our feelings are messages from our inner self to express what is going on deep within ourselves. You're very insightful. Maybe we can work on this together on the ''bus''

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Thirty shades
 
Thanks for this!
Thirty shades
Hi IM Dan
Member
Hi IM Dan has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2020
Location: New jersey
Posts: 66
3 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Apr 15, 2020 at 07:06 PM
  #18
Thirty shades and Fuzzybear,

Im sorry about the shortcomings in your therapy sessions. Not listening and not understanding are way different the way I rationalize them. Its unfortunate to hear thinking properly, the biggest failure here seems like a lack of communication in which case my neck of the woods is on par with yours.

Ill put it this way, math is concrete right. Thirty says 2 + 2 = 4 Fuzzy says huh? how why what? thirty proceeds look at your hand, close your hand into a fist. Each finger counts as one digit, extend one finger... that's one... extend another finger that's one. how many fingers are extended... 2? do the same thing on the other hand and how many fingers are extended?
If you ask me I need the extra help with the math but if you explain it right most of whats missed can be communicated somehow..
Anyway.

Thirty with your messages of pain to the brain from an emotional stand point I would refer to AA. This to shall pass. Does changing the stimulation help, can you acknowledge it then let someone change that pain to another feeling?
Hi IM Dan is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Thirty shades
Grand Magnate
 
Thirty shades's Avatar
Thirty shades Much love to all
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,798 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
16.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 16, 2020 at 03:22 AM
  #19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi IM Dan View Post
Thirty with your messages of pain to the brain from an emotional stand point I would refer to AA. This to shall pass. Does changing the stimulation help, can you acknowledge it then let someone change that pain to another feeling?
I am not good at changing my feelings without a lot of work. It will take time and it will pass for a bit.

Life is unfortunately a rollercoaster ride.
Thirty shades is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Thirty shades
Grand Magnate
 
Thirty shades's Avatar
Thirty shades Much love to all
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,798 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
16.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 16, 2020 at 03:23 AM
  #20
Lets work on self love on the bus dear Fuzzybear.
Thirty shades is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:16 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.