Unhelpful things that are said to us...? Trigger

First, I request NO mention whatsoever about the current ''stuff'' this world is going through since for some of us that is a trigger or at the very least a ''downer'' and constant reminder (do we need to keep being reminded on here too? I for one do not... ) to some of us when it is in so many posts and even titles. No offence to anyone intended.

A good friend said they have been more withdrawn lately, in fact two good friends have said that. I don't know if this post will help, maybe not. But I'm still here, just not reading much here any more

What are some ''helpful things'' or not so helpful things people tell us as to how we ''should cope'' with our depression, anxiety, CPTSD, ''mental health issues'' etc....

These people may or may not be well intentioned. Often their ''advice'' is simplistic in the extreme, not great with insight etc and sometimes not even respectful. This is NOT about anyone here. I am talking about people who are either completely clueless or who simply do not care.

A few to start with...

for someone with severe anxiety - ''just relax''

or someone with severe depression ''you should just cheer up, others have it much worse... I know someone who .... (maybe they then insert some triggering horror story and how that other person ''copes'') aka ''they just get on with it.
They just ''do things'' and they just keep smiling and do not burden anyone with any of their thoughts or their presence''

Sorry about the rant

I was/am hoping to get some discussion going here that is NOT about the current ''stuff'' as mentioned before ..

(if anyone mentions or alludes to that stuff it will not be responded to. That is just my request for THIS thread, there are many threads which have discussions about or mentions regarding that topic. I hope this is clear enough. I am not trying to be rude, I just do not have unlimited time to write long posts and to censor every word to make it completely perfect.... and who is perfect. Nobody

with much respect

I guess there is a sense in which I'm fortunate. I'm so isolated that no one ever has the opportunity to use any of the myriad of unhelpful... even hurtful phrases on me. In fact I guess that's one of the reasons I do isolate myself so completely. I just don't want to hear it...

"What's wrong with you?!" -- as an exclamation, an adversarial rhetorical question.
"I was depressed, too...."

I know what you mean. I isolate myself a lot too. I do not want to hear from the smart _*** boring ''normals'' with their judgments

I think we are ''fortunate'' to isolate from those judgmental morons including smart *** therapists (irl) with low IQ's, profoundly low EQ's and severe personality disorders

And yes, a ''therapist'' irl ''taught'' me how to be so ''mean'' .... with his mean and stupid words. Who the **** would tolerate all that disowned crap and anger from a ''professional'' in silence

The new psy said something that really has me intrigued. “You are interesting, and you don’t want to be interesting to a guy like me.”

Grrrrrrrrrrr

How mean of them. That disgusts me. I wonder who that person was. It sounds like they were ''not quite human'' I regret there was nobody with sharp teeth who could bite that ''person''



hugs and respect dear Rohag

hmmm. that mean T must have found me interesting for a long time or I would not have been given the ''privilege'' of paying him so much for his time....

That is a strange thing to say. Maybe he was referring to or owning some sort of ................ in himself. Have you spoken to him again?

I think he meant I didn’t fit into any typical category and he didn’t know what to make of me. It made me feel like I must be, maybe a psychopath or something? I know I am a good person and am not worries about what he thinks. If I am a psychopath, then I am a very, very nice one.

I didn't fit into any obvious category either, I think he found me ''interesting'' partly for that reason. It also sounds like he (the psych you saw) maybe had psychopathic tendencies himself from that comment?

I am definitely not a psychopath

Yes sometimes others advice does not really help and oftentimes they don’t mean it, but maybe they just don’t understand. For example,when going through a rough time and finding out I had a learning disorder and mild brain difference, ok mild brain damage, a neurologist doc said “don’t be anxious.” Oh it so simple just tell me “don’t be anxious” when have learning disorder, mild brain damage, was being berated by supervisor, and very anxious at work (work was difficult enough prior to this due to social anxiety and anxiety). It’s magic tell me “don’t be anxious” and the anxiety melts away. Yeah and monkeys will learn to fly soon.

Oh yes, all the typical ones.

Just relax
Oh get over it
Others have it worse then you

I'm sure there are others, but I can't think of anything original at the moment. Luckily no doctors have been callous to me... I think.

But I must say, sometimes the thinking of the less fortunate does help me so forgive me if I ever say it to anyone. I try not to or I at least make it clear that it is just somethig that works for me...but again, that is just sometimes. Other times it just makes me feel even worse about myself and things.

Hugs!

Here's one from my chat last night with my oldest and bestest friend of 51 years (met when we were 4 years old). On the phone. Trying to describe for him what it is like to be psychotic for him--I have been psychotic a lot lately. So, I am running through the list of things and then, I say: "You, know, like thinking the government is going through my emails and messages and deleting them and stuff."

"Oh," he says. "Well, they could actually be doing that."

Ha!!!!!!!!!!! He had absolutely no clue how unbelievably triggering and not at all what I needed to hear that was.He is not a fan of the government or NSA or whatever. I think it is funny, actually. Anyhow, just a funny little example of how people sometimes unintentionally trigger us.

My favorite is "You're just depressed," closely followed by "Take a walk outside."