[will19]

A fairly busy day at work, which was pretty nice for me. When I got home, I felt depressed. Worked out at home. On Friday I have a Doctor's appointment for a routine check up and I'm dreading it.

feel terrible.

their's just nothing going on, and even if their was what am I meant to do with a body that just hurts.

yesterday I tried a new recipie (the lemon chicken I posted in another section othe forum), it was okay, but left me still hungry, so I first had some fries, and when that didn't feel me up, I had snacks- a lot of snacks.

another night with no sleep either. litirally none. not even the oppotunity to lie down

I slept but now I have more pain. I need to rest but I have so much to do. I'll do what I can today.

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi. Doing ok right now.

[tigerlily84]

I felt okay this morning, crappy but okay. Now I feel like I'm in a depressive stupor. Depression hasn't been this bad in a while. I wonder if it's the meds? I'll have to tell the nurse practitioner at my appointment on Thursday. I also heard back from the short term disability company, and I should have some guidance and information by the end of the week. That's all I have energy for at the moment. Maybe I'll go back to bed.

[Rose76]

Putting off doing things is making me miserable.

[Mountaindewed]

I haven’t felt depressed like this in awhile. I don’t have any SI though like I usually would and I don’t feel like I need to go to the hospital. I honestly don’t even know what I need and I can’t even tell exactly what is wrong. I think it has something to do with therapy. I got my haircut at a salon today which may have set me off. Maybe I’m just depressed for no reason. Melatonin does not interest me tonight for some reason even though it always does.

[Breaking Dawn]

I guess I'm doing ok right now. I really enjoyed watching two tv programs today that I like. And I had a nice dinner.

[Nitrous]

Having a bad day. Obsessive thoughts, drug cravings, thoughts of SH. I wish i had someone to talk to.

well, I'm not really depressed. The job helps to keep my mind focused on the future. Depressiion is still there but its less. I was finally able to read something and watch an interesting show. Hugs to all

[3rd rock]

I feel really unwell. My depression is somewhat infrequently causing me to miss work. I feel so guilty about calling in sick because I feel sad and tired. I miss about 1 day every 2 weeks due to this reason. But over the past 3 weeks I've called in sick 1 day each week.

[tigerlily84]

Today was okay. With my mom's help I was able to cook. It was a lot of work but it was good. Whoever wrote the directions didn't know what they were doing because they were very confusing. I'm tired now.

I have a phone appt with the nurse practitioner tomorrow morning and she will decide if I can return to work on Monday. Some days I do just fine, but I have more bad days than good. When I think about going back to work I feel panicked, but I know I can't be off work forever. This month just flew by. I'm certain that she will adjust my meds at least. I'm already eating more because of the abilify. I've generally been slim for most of my life and I'm nervous about gaining weight. But if it can help me it would be worth it.

panic attack this morning

lasted for what seemed like an eternity

and of course, my fibro pain made it clear.. no relaxation or rest, hurts too much.

[T4bbyCat]

Well, I tried to help, using my good faith interpretation of the facts given to me... so when someone criticizes me for attempting to be of use, I sort of lose my belief that anything at all is worthwhile.

[Breaking Dawn]

I am doing fine today. I'm enjoying a cup of coffee & planning my day.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel pretty down in the dumps today. I really do feel like my therapist is mad at me. I feel like I did something wrong. I’m trying to talk to her about it and she sent me an email saying she’d talk to me later about it but then she didn’t respond again which just drove me further to think she’s upset. And all this just makes me not want to eat even more. I’m not my usual bubbly self at home with my mom and my brother and I’m not talking nonstop about the TV shows I watch or anything. I’ve just become really quiet at home and I think this is just really starting to get to me and I’m really starting to get into a deep depression over it.

I'm a bit anxious and depressed with myself, more worried if I can handle all the work hours, but I'm familiar somewhat with it. My shoulder could be a worsening problem.

[Rose76]

Just on the couch all day. Now that he is gone, I still need someone to care for me. I'm not looking to fall in love again. But I do need to find human contact.

[Nitrous]

Feel like I'm spiraling. I got an appointment with my therapist, but not for a week. I feel lost. I dont know who I am. I need a friend, but everyone is busy. Im as afraid to talk to my boyfriend as I am about talking to my therapist.

[tigerlily84]

Today was actually not bad. My nurse practitioner is extending my disability for another month. I feel so relieved, because I really don't feel ready to go back to work yet, although I don't know if I ever truly will. She's also increasing the dose on the abilify and she wants to monitor me. I feel grateful that she is helping me.
I also made strides with my disability claim which has been hanging over me for some time. Hopefully they process it quickly because I need the money.