it's not bheen good!.

yesterday, (after my small and unfilling meal), my overeating went through the roof.

didn't sleep because of the agony in my body, today I had a panic attack (making 6 this week), and I am honestly beyond depressed.

I am meant to be watching a programme about emergency services in the UK. honestly I don't really want to, but, it's that or focus on how emotionally broken/ ugly/ bad I feel.

and I choose the show.

plus: yesterday I did so little (sit on a chair and cry for most of it), watching a show is quite a big step I guess

[Rose76]

Not feeling good today. Already did some crying . . . but not for long.

[3rd rock]

Called in sick for work today. Physically drained and exhausted all the time. This is miserable. Psychiatrist moved back appointment by one week, so I still have nearly 3 weeks until next appointment.

[will19]

Today was a kind of day that lots of little things just went wrong. Well, come to think of it, it's been that way since Sunday. Lots of little disappointments and things going wrong. Nothing major. They say that it's the little things that get to you.

I feel a sneaking "low despair" coming. I see it as a trigger for depression and hope to "treat it" soon.

[Rose76]

My mental state is awful.

[Breaking Dawn]

I guess I'm doing ok.

[tigerlily84]

I'm okay. Got some errands done. I'm just so tired.

[Yzen]

Can’t see the good in my day yet.

[Nitrous]

I feel like I'm barely hanging on. Just trying to make it to tomorrow when I talk to my therapist. I'm not using healthy coping skills, but I'm surviving.

[88Butterfly88]

I feel depressed today.

[will19]

Today seemed like a better day than what it has been. I had an embarrassing thing happen to me at lunchtime and it took me a good while to get over it. I couldn't believe it happened and I felt so awful! Pretty slow at work today. Later in the day at home, it got pretty noisy with the neighbors and I was not too fond of it.

so my care team have just been on the phone- and apparently, they want to arange for me to have live in care (based on what I've been telling them about
my pain, and the minimal results they are seeing in an improvement)

I was basically told today by the team that my body is on it's way out, and I was told they won't give me anything else- won't try me with anything else,
I should just accept it, and accept the fact that I'm going to need extra care

they said if their's ever any concerns email us, but I'm looking at a waiting list of 6 months to get the kind of care I need, and until then, I just need
to "struggle on"

I am only in my 20;s, and I certainly didn't want to here this at such a young age

but their it is. I guess a new era and a new reality (new normal) is on it's way, a lot sooner than I'd hoped

[Nitrous]

I've finally been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I knew it was there, and I feel better having the diagnosis. It doesn't really help the hole im in right now, but it helps in the long run.

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, things are going fine most of the time. There are moments that feel challenging, but I somehow manage, which I guess means I'm ok.

[Rose76]

I managed to go to the store. Then I went to Subway and picked up a meatball sandwich. I feel physically weak. I feel so alone.

[tigerlily84]

I am okay. Yesterday I went to visit my sister in law and played with my nieces. I did one load of laundry before going to her house and she let me use her washing machine and I did 2 more. I actually still have more laundry to do lol. It's amazing how much I let the laundry go when I literally did not do it for months. I was rediscovering clothes that I forgot I owned. I also applied for a job and got in contact with a recruiter. I am expecting the recruiter's call sometime today. I felt productive for the first time in a while.

My brother was telling me that now because of COVID that you can withdraw from your 401K account from now until 12/31/20 without any penalties! This will help me out until my disability claim gets processed. Just thought I would pass that along. Hope everyone has a good day today.

[Breaking Dawn]

I ended up putting some errands off that I was supposed to do this morning. I will still try to do them today. So I'm engaged in a lot of mental rearranging. Meanwhile I managed to accomplish a few other things at home. So that made me feel a little bit better.

[3rd rock]

I booked a test for Coronavirus tomorrow. I have moderate flu-like symptoms and I decided it would be best just to rule it out. However, if I have coronovirus then I have to take 2 weeks off work mandatory, which would actually be pretty nice so long as I don't feel too sick.

[will19]

It's coming up to a three-day weekend. I have plans for tomorrow - you know; the shopping, laundry, and cleaning like I always do every Saturday. Nothing much after that. So I hope I can make it though two days after tomorrow without feeling too depressed.

It seems like some of the people at where I live are very psyched up for this time. I don't quite feel that way.