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Default Nov 26, 2020 at 11:42 AM
  #921
Today is the first day of the four-day weekend. I plan on going to a nice place to hike, but I hope I will be able find a parking space. And will do a little bike riding. I plan on calling a couple of people to wish them a happy T-Giving.

In the last 10 hours or so, I've been on a small roll of things not going so well. My friend and I had a frank discussion about where we're heading as friends. The both of us are pretty dissatisfied with the way it's going. And I didn't sleep well because I got blowing my nose until 3AM. This morning a woman was chatting very loud outside of my window at 6:30 when I wanted to sleep. I think this woman did that on purpose because she's mad at me. I had reported her to the Apartment Manager because she had let her dog run around without a leash. The rules say that your dog is supposed to be on a leash at all times.
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Default Nov 26, 2020 at 12:37 PM
  #922
Thankful for the time off this week. Not superspreading at a family gathering. It should be interesting to see what happens shortly.
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Default Nov 26, 2020 at 11:59 PM
  #923
I did those things that I said I wanted to do for today. I was able to get a good parking spot for the hike this morning and it was nice.

I made a couple of phone calls today that I said I would do also. I called my old college friend and it went alright, but I didn't feel much better. And then I called that woman up, who seemed to have had a crush on me a couple of months ago. I didn't feel the same about her and those feelings from her for me now has faded greatly. I called her at work because she was all alone and wanted to wish her a happy T-Giving. We barely talked for just two minutes. I was surprised it ended up like that.

Took a short bike ride and got a take out dinner and that turned out to be a disappointment. It was a busy day today but I wasn't feeling too well emotionally.
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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 12:17 AM
  #924
I feel a little lonely. I think if I can get some more sleep, I will feel better.

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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 12:45 PM
  #925
I'm feeling pretty good this morning, much to my surprise. I felt very depressed yesterday being T-Giving and alone. Even the things I did that was supposed to make me feel better didn't work. I had a take-out dinner last night and it was a disappointment.

This morning my legs felt very sore from that long hike yesterday. I'm not used to it even though I'm physically active. And then my right ear got blocked up with wax suddenly. I've had that before; so I treated it, and the wax is gone now.

I have some plans today and should be busy, but alone again. I'm going to the bank, pick up something for lunch, and go on a long bike ride.
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Default Nov 27, 2020 at 01:14 PM
  #926
I'm a wreck today. My nerves are getting to me. I ordered some wine so I can have a glass and relax. I will try deep breathing and meditation as well. I don't normally drink so I figure one glass won't hurt.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 08:48 AM
  #927
Mentally, I'm doing well. Had a decent Thanksgiving. I ccooked dinner for a friend and me.

I made great progress cleaning and organizing my apartment. I have to file paperwork at court to be able to sell my boyfriend's car. I misplaced the forms, but they'll turn up.
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 11:31 AM
  #928
I'm doing ok today. Had two cups of coffee so far, & setting up to do bills & stuff.
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Trig Nov 28, 2020 at 04:40 PM
  #929
Hey everyone,
I'm new to here but felt the need to jot down some thoughts I have been rolling around my head since my last therapy appointment. I was diagnosed with BPD and Bi-polar and a few other things beginning of this summer. I started therapy and we have started going back to some of those past memories and looking at why I react the way I do to situations. This morning I'm really struggling with why I am attracted to rough sex and any other type I'm not into at all. It attracts all the wrong guys and yet I have no interest in the sweet kind men. My therapist talks about how it's associated with the sexual abuse I went through as a child. I just am tired of being attracted to people who are bad for me.

Last edited by bluekoi; Nov 28, 2020 at 11:15 PM.. Reason: Add trigger icon.
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 05:58 PM
  #930
It was the usual Saturday for me, even though this was a holiday weekend. Did things slightly different this time. I got delayed using the laundry for a half an hour because other people were using it. And then I didn't have lunch before I went shopping for the first time. So I felt like I got things done later today than other Saturdays.

Once again, feeling pretty depressed like I always do on Saturday afternoons. It seems like I'm seeing people being together and having a good time with each other. For me being in that seems like it's an unattainable dream. I think to myself, how does it happen and why is it so hard for me?
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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 06:51 PM
  #931
I'm feeling tired, lonely and sad. I tried to play a game. I think I am just bored with games. I don't have anyone to play with. It's so lonely.

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Default Nov 28, 2020 at 06:59 PM
  #932
I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel just going through the motions. I’m definitely down. It’s either SAD or my daughter’s leaving yesterday. Neither thrill me. Nobody wants SAD and if it’s the other....I don’t want to be down every time she leaves.
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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 03:38 PM
  #933
I'm going to return to work. I'll just call in sick 1-3 days per week as I used to. No one cares about calling in sick. I hate my job and I hate my life. Still waiting on referral to neurologist after MRI revealed brain mass is worse than last MRI showed. Might be cancer.
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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 03:42 PM
  #934
I been feeling really depressed again especially lately. Everything is hurting me emotionally.
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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 04:15 PM
  #935
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3rd rock View Post
I'm going to return to work. I'll just call in sick 1-3 days per week as I used to. No one cares about calling in sick. I hate my job and I hate my life. Still waiting on referral to neurologist after MRI revealed brain mass is worse than last MRI showed. Might be cancer.
I am so sorry you are struggling. I’m thinking of you and hoping the MRI turns out better than expected.
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Thanks for this!
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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 04:17 PM
  #936
I’ve kept busy today when all I really want to do is curl up in a little ball and sleep endlessly. SAD has officially hit. I’ll fight it as best as I can.
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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 07:09 PM
  #937
I’ve been feeling pretty good today despite the fact it’s the 6th year anniversary of my dads death. We were not close. It was my fault. He loved me and tried but I didn’t respond well back. Honestly there’s a lot of that in my family. 2 of my cousins don’t talk to their dads and the rest of the family don’t understand because my uncles seem like great guys to us. I was in the same position with my dad. Everyone thought he was great.

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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 07:30 PM
  #938
I think I'm doing ok right now. A friend contacted me today & that helped me. I feel some hope, which is a very energizing force.
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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 08:08 PM
  #939
My four day weekend is about to end. Not very eventful personally during the whole weekend. Talked to my sister and it went OK. Lots of interruptions on the phone on her end. Took a long bike ride.
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Default Nov 29, 2020 at 11:27 PM
  #940
I feel fine today.

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