Rejection letters

MatBell · Jun 02, 2020 at 04:50 AM

So I had applied for a new education. Today I got rejected at all three. I didn’t expect it anyway. I was told it would be hard for me. But still I’m a bit down. Feel like every door is closing on me and I’m this useless human being. What am I good at? I’m just a burden and embarrassment to the people who know me.
Don’t know what’s to become of me frankly.

winter4me · Jun 02, 2020 at 06:31 AM

Hang in there!

T4bbyCat · Jun 02, 2020 at 07:06 AM

Had my share of those... at least they're better than not hearing back at all, I suppose. There's way too much competition for everything nowadays, and personal contacts make the most difference. Sorry, I don't have all that much to offer in terms of solutions, but just know that you're not alone!

Mopey · Jun 02, 2020 at 01:22 PM

Jeez, Mat, that is the PITS!!

I got rejected from a program I really wanted to get into once and I was extremely bummed, but from the vantage point of decades later it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I would have been horrible at it and miserable to boot, had I gotten in.

MatBell · Jun 02, 2020 at 06:06 PM

Thank you.
I'm really struggling.. I just can't do this anymore.

bpcyclist · Jun 02, 2020 at 09:35 PM

Look, Mat, these places can be competitive. Don't get down on youself. You have to keep plugging away. I was never the smartest, never the most special. I did not get into Harvard for college. Not smart enough for them. Whatever. I went on to success because I never, ever, ever quit or gave up. And I am tenacious. Don't stop. Something will turn up for you.

Years later, I got a job at Harvard as a surgeon. So, there you go. Keep after it.

Successful people all share one key quality: they manage to make in to the other side of difficult things without having lost all hope. Call on some tenacity. You can do this. You can totally do this. Put that one on the bank.

MatBell · Jun 03, 2020 at 08:43 AM

Thanks bpcyclist.
Just got back from my therapist. I just sat and cried in front of him. I don't usually do this but I just couldn't help myself. I don't know how much longer this can go on.
Like you write, it's important to keep going no matter what. This is the hardest I've ever had to go through, no contest. And I hope it's the hardest I will have to go through. I really don't know how I've lasted this long. I don't know how it'll end. I hope I get through it. I really do. But at some point the pain throughout the day just becomes too much. I'm sure you know what I mean. I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced it will ever understand what it's like.

Thanks so much for the motivation. It's good to hear this when it feels like the world is doing everything it can to knock you out. Often, when I want to feel better I watch youtube videos of people who have gone through great obstacles in their life, like addiction, and seeing them get better gives me hope too. If they can do it so can I.

MatBell · Jun 03, 2020 at 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mopey

Jeez, Mat, that is the PITS!!

I got rejected from a program I really wanted to get into once and I was extremely bummed, but from the vantage point of decades later it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I would have been horrible at it and miserable to boot, had I gotten in.

I know. I've tried that once too. When I look back on it, I'm glad I didn't get in. I would't have been good and it just wasn't me.
This time around it's not quite the same. I feel a bit bummed. But I expected it. I hope I'll eventually end up in a job where I can find meaning and be happy. It shouldn't be that hard, even though I often feel it's impossible for me.

Like you said, we can't see the blessing in disguise when we're in the middle of it. It just feels like we missed out. Only years later can we see that it was actually a good thing.

What state do you live in Mopey?
Hope you're well.

Mopey · Jun 03, 2020 at 03:26 PM

I live in sunny California darling Mat. Sadly, so far, it's like the whole year's been canceled due to the virus and we're pretty much stuck inside unless we have to go to the grocery store.

If I may ask, and if you feel like answering, how are you doing with the pandemic over there? We've heard that Denmark handled it especially well -- subsidized people so they could stay home and the sickness didn't transmit. Are you pretty much through dealing with it there?

Anyway, many hugs.

Keep on a trudgin'.......

Turtle_Rider · Jun 04, 2020 at 03:57 AM

Hi Mattbell. I am sorry for you. I can understand, as we're in the same boat (kind of). Admittedly, I'm also begin of losing hope.
Unfortunately, there is nothing much we could do except try again and improve ourselves.
Cheers on.

Mopey · Jun 04, 2020 at 12:41 PM

Sometimes it can help a bit to sit and write. Write about how you're feeling, or just keep track of what you did during the day. What you might like to do. I feel my worst when I start to think and ruminate about how horrible things are.

The_little_didgee · Jun 04, 2020 at 05:12 PM

[/QUOTE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mopey

I got rejected from a program I really wanted to get into once and I was extremely bummed, but from the vantage point of decades later it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I would have been horrible at it and miserable to boot, had I gotten in.

Matt, I've been there too.

Mopey is right. The same thing happened to me. My rejection letter was definitely a blessing in disguise. If I got into the program, I would have been miserable as well.

Mopey · Jun 07, 2020 at 09:16 PM

Mat, I’m also wondering- how did your therapist respond to your tears?

MatBell · Jun 09, 2020 at 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mopey

Mat, I’m also wondering- how did your therapist respond to your tears?

He didn’t say anything actually. We just sat in silence while I cried...
I was actually meant to go today but called in sick. It just doesn’t do anything for me and often I leave in a worse mood than before. He is fine dealing with the meds, but really isn’t great at conversation.

Mopey · Jun 09, 2020 at 12:33 PM

Yeah, I hear you. I have a psychiatrist I go to for meds only, but as to therapy? Na-a-ah. Not a chance.

I was wondering, as to a job, are there areas where Denmark is actually looking to hire more people? (I'm sure you've thought of this). But this certainly happens in the U.S. Certain professions and livelihoods are disappearing, while others are picking up. The health field, for example, has been on the rise for many years now.

Many hugs.....

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winter4me Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2012 Location: new england Posts: 7,733 11 1,818 hugs given	Jun 02, 2020 at 06:31 AM #2 Hang in there! __________________ "...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris
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T4bbyCat Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: US Posts: 232 5 3,924 hugs given	Jun 02, 2020 at 07:06 AM #3 Had my share of those... at least they're better than not hearing back at all, I suppose. There's way too much competition for everything nowadays, and personal contacts make the most difference. Sorry, I don't have all that much to offer in terms of solutions, but just know that you're not alone!
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Mopey Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: California Posts: 2,025 5 1,520 hugs given	Jun 02, 2020 at 01:22 PM #4 Jeez, Mat, that is the PITS!! I got rejected from a program I really wanted to get into once and I was extremely bummed, but from the vantage point of decades later it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I would have been horrible at it and miserable to boot, had I gotten in. __________________
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MatBell Grand Member Member Since Jan 2017 Location: Denmark Posts: 847 7 83 hugs given	Jun 02, 2020 at 06:06 PM #5 Thank you. I'm really struggling.. I just can't do this anymore. __________________
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Turtle_Rider Legendary Member Since Sep 2015 Location: N/A Posts: 13,242 (SuperPoster!) 8 2,146 hugs given	Jun 04, 2020 at 03:57 AM #10 Hi Mattbell. I am sorry for you. I can understand, as we're in the same boat (kind of). Admittedly, I'm also begin of losing hope. Unfortunately, there is nothing much we could do except try again and improve ourselves. Cheers on.
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Mopey Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: California Posts: 2,025 5 1,520 hugs given	Jun 04, 2020 at 12:41 PM #11 Sometimes it can help a bit to sit and write. Write about how you're feeling, or just keep track of what you did during the day. What you might like to do. I feel my worst when I start to think and ruminate about how horrible things are. __________________
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Mopey Magnate Member Since Oct 2018 Location: California Posts: 2,025 5 1,520 hugs given	Jun 07, 2020 at 09:16 PM #13 Mat, I’m also wondering- how did your therapist respond to your tears? __________________
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