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puzzclar
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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 10:26 AM
  #1
That's good the question of the day. What does your social support look like. I'll start.

I have my family, meaning my parents and sister. I keep pushing people away because I think I'll want something else from them that I'm trying to stop. It's a phobia of people IRL. I need to make connections, but fear stops me. I know I the best way through depression is having social support. I feel lost.
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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 11:02 AM
  #2
Dear puzzclar,

I often feel lost myself. My support system is primarily my family and friends although I sometimes wish I didn't have "so many eggs in one basket" if I understand that English expression. Sorry that you are struggling with feeling lost!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 12:27 PM
  #3
I am pretty much alone. I have two adult children and we sometimes reach out to each other but don't get to see each other enough due to distance and general life stuff/pandemic. I stopped working last year, still getting offers but I really must be done because I would only be tempted by something really special/of interest. I have two old friends, women I've known "forever", about the same as with the kids. My parents & brother are dead now. I never really knew any of my cousins or extended family(big secrets, we were kept apart). I think my ex would let me in if there was a natural disaster or war... I am working at embracing solitude. ---and I have PC--- but I have lost work as a support and I've lost a walkable community after having to sell my house.
My neighbors would respond to any emergency because they are good people.
I have one friend I would be able to call in a psych emergency who would be able to settle me down. (whew...)

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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 12:59 PM
  #4
None.

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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 01:47 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
None.
The Skeezyks has us.........

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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 01:49 PM
  #6
I have a very supportive ex I am still quite close to, a 12 year-old daughter who is loving, a best pal 3 hours away, a dear friend or two here in town and an 88 year-old father totally locked down in his nursing home, so, cannot see him, likely, for moths.

It is not very much support, since these people are all super busy. I wish I could find an IRL support group to go to.

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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 05:45 PM
  #7
Not much. Just my sister who is 3000 miles away; and a friend who's 84 years old, having physical limits that doesn't make it enjoyable for me. That's it!
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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 05:59 PM
  #8
.......


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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 06:51 PM
  #9
I'm alone and lonely. My children are grown and live far away. They are happy and successful in their lives which of course I am grateful for. They find it difficult to see me struggle. I'm struggling with huge life changes. Plus I lost my brother, sister and mother due to unfortunate events. My father has been gone a long time. I have no other family. I'm divorced and live alone with no close friends in the area to do things with or to discuss the wonderful things in my life or the difficult things. It was recommended that I might try this website to attempt to create a support community which I would be very grateful for.
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Default Jun 30, 2020 at 07:58 PM
  #10
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Originally Posted by rehpotsirK View Post
I'm alone and lonely. My children are grown and live far away. They are happy and successful in their lives which of course I am grateful for. They find it difficult to see me struggle. I'm struggling with huge life changes. Plus I lost my brother, sister and mother due to unfortunate events. My father has been gone a long time. I have no other family. I'm divorced and live alone with no close friends in the area to do things with or to discuss the wonderful things in my life or the difficult things. It was recommended that I might try this website to attempt to create a support community which I would be very grateful for.
I am sorry you are struggling, reh. I struggle all the time and, as you can see above, I also have few IRL support people. I find PC to be a huge help to me. People get to know you and they can spot stuff that you might not see and so forth. They can be very supportive that way. Lots and lots of good people here.

Sending you strength and support!!!!!!!!!!!! Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!

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Default Jul 02, 2020 at 02:04 AM
  #11
Thanks for sharing.
And a big warm hug for all of you who feel lonely.
Hopefully we can be there for eachother.
My social support... Well I should feel blessed since I have my SO and friends I could talk to about my depression. But I can't shake the deeply engraved belief that I shouldn't seek support in others.
How does one accept help...without feeling guilty for it?
My few familymembers don't know. They have enough to master on their own.

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Default Jul 02, 2020 at 05:00 AM
  #12
Is it still social support if I never mentioned my condition and most likely they're not aware? There's my family, meaning parents and siblings. I've pushed them away, since I don't really belong and haven't fulfilled any expectations (as in marriage, family, etc.)
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Default Jul 02, 2020 at 07:38 AM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by T4bbyCat View Post
Is it still social support if I never mentioned my condition and most likely they're not aware? There's my family, meaning parents and siblings. I've pushed them away, since I don't really belong and haven't fulfilled any expectations (as in marriage, family, etc.)
Social support can mean different things to different people. The best social support system are people who you can turn to for anything, and don't feel ashamed/guilty/burden. It's something that is hard to get because of the stigma of mental health. I'm going to try to get past feeling like a burden and asking for support. It will be worth the time if the person is the right person to be added to my social support system.

The main goal if this post is to awaken us to see that our social needs are not being met. And after reading about someone who is recovered from mental illness, social support was a BIG part of his recovery. I'm finding more people who have recovered, as it inspires me and gives me hope!
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Default Jul 02, 2020 at 08:32 AM
  #14
this forum

my therapist (who I can't see because of covid19)

my pdoc (ditto above)

that is all. no friends, no family
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Default Jul 02, 2020 at 08:58 AM
  #15
I'm actually pretty lucky.


I have a group of friends who I've known for years, and we make it a point to talk by phone, at least every couple of weeks.

My mental health clubhouse, hosts multiple Zoom meetings daily and I always go to at least one a day which is good for staying connected.

I belong to a couple of sobriety support groups that have Zoom meetings and are vitally important me, given the state of the world.

So while I miss in person activities, I actually feel reasonably connected.

splitimage

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"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

What social support do you have?
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Default Jul 02, 2020 at 03:31 PM
  #16
In terms of real life social support, I have no support system. I made a concerted effort last year and gained two friends, and was very grateful for them. But over a fairly short span of time, as the cracks began to appear, realized they weren't the kinds of people I feel I actually gel with or can trust emotionally. That's the part I don't like - the saying 'goodbye', I must tackle this on my own. For me.
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