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Thirty shades
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Default Jul 04, 2020 at 11:58 AM
  #1
Life is so complicated.

Do I stand up for myself and hurt others?

or

Do I lie down and let them all walk over me, so everyone gets what they want while I suffer intolerable abuse?

I must be so worthless to others and they want to steal any worth I can muster for myself....

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Fuzzybear
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Default Jul 04, 2020 at 12:49 PM
  #2
Grrrrrr at the abusers. Abuse is NEVER acceptable.

Much love and respect to you dear Thirty shades,

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Default Jul 04, 2020 at 01:06 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
Life is so complicated.

Do I stand up for myself and hurt others?

or

Do I lie down and let them all walk over me, so everyone gets what they want while I suffer intolerable abuse?

I must be so worthless to others and they want to steal any worth I can muster for myself....

TS...really hard...standing up for yourself...
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Thirty shades
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Default Jul 04, 2020 at 03:25 PM
  #4
Thank you Fuzzybear and Little turtle.

My feelings are ignored
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Default Jul 04, 2020 at 03:31 PM
  #5
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Thank you Fuzzybear and Little turtle.

My feelings are ignored
TS...how about your actions...i am sorry i even ask this...i really like you
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Thirty shades
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Default Jul 05, 2020 at 03:07 AM
  #6
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TS...how about your actions...i am sorry i even ask this...i really like you
My actions have always been true not like my abuser...

I know something that is inconvenient to others.

I found the courage to speak.

But I am expected to miss out while my abuser is forgiven for his crimes.
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Default Jul 05, 2020 at 04:40 AM
  #7
thanks TS...sending love to you...
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Default Jul 08, 2020 at 12:45 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
Life is so complicated.

Do I stand up for myself and hurt others?

or

Do I lie down and let them all walk over me, so everyone gets what they want while I suffer intolerable abuse?

I must be so worthless to others and they want to steal any worth I can muster for myself....

Thirty, I used to believe that standing up for myself meant I had to be angry and hostile, which was super hard for me to do and I'd always feel worse afterward, since I hate that kind of conflict.

I finally found there was a different way. First I had to figure out what my needs were, then I had to figure out how to say them without criticizing the other. Like, "I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can do that right now," and so forth. It takes a lot of figuring because I am extremely wimpy, but I find it works better than just striking out.

Hugs to you.....

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Default Jul 08, 2020 at 01:14 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by Thirty shades View Post
My actions have always been true not like my abuser...

I know something that is inconvenient to others.

I found the courage to speak.

But I am expected to miss out while my abuser is forgiven for his crimes.
I can relate to this!! My actions have always been true, not like my abuser...

That is GREAT that you found the courage to speak. Abusers hate that, they repeatedly attempt (pathetically...) to silence us.

Abusers are sneaky, slimy, calculating individuals. They (or part of them) feel ''superior'' but deep inside they know they are NOT and they feel threatened by our truth,,

I can relate, in ''family'' the abusers were forgiven for their crimes and deceit... I was forced to miss out

Much love and respect always

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