Really Not Doing Well

Deilla · Aug 12, 2020 at 01:15 AM

Tonight is difficult for me. I'm remembering a conversation I had with my sister J. A while back, I sent her a link to my Artist Page on Spotify. I asked her to take a look. I was hoping she would say something, but like most of my family, she ignored my text. Today I asked her about that. She lied about it. I can tell cause I see the stats. Plus, I know a thing or two about software. And her excuse didn't make sense. Why lie if you don't want to be supportive?

I'm triggered about her. I'm triggered about my family ignoring me. I'm worried about my cat who's sick. I can't sleep. And all this is weighing heavy on my mind. I feel like an idiot for thinking that it was Okay to share my music accomplishment with my family. I waited until I was established and shared it with all of them. Only 2 people listened. My niece and my uncle. That's better than nothing.

I just need to quit reaching out to my family. I always get hurt. Then I blame myself. I feel like giving up on everything.

will19 · Aug 12, 2020 at 05:49 PM

Sorry to hear that. I'm having a struggle with my family, too, and it seems like it's always been that way. I don't have any suggestions or advice to give you. Just a hug. Nice to see you on here.

Deilla · Aug 12, 2020 at 05:56 PM

Thank you! Hugs are appreciated. It's good to know we're not alone.

bpcyclist · Aug 13, 2020 at 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deilla

Tonight is difficult for me. I'm remembering a conversation I had with my sister J. A while back, I sent her a link to my Artist Page on Spotify. I asked her to take a look. I was hoping she would say something, but like most of my family, she ignored my text. Today I asked her about that. She lied about it. I can tell cause I see the stats. Plus, I know a thing or two about software. And her excuse didn't make sense. Why lie if you don't want to be supportive?

I'm triggered about her. I'm triggered about my family ignoring me. I'm worried about my cat who's sick. I can't sleep. And all this is weighing heavy on my mind. I feel like an idiot for thinking that it was Okay to share my music accomplishment with my family. I waited until I was established and shared it with all of them. Only 2 people listened. My niece and my uncle. That's better than nothing.

I just need to quit reaching out to my family. I always get hurt. Then I blame myself. I feel like giving up on everything.

You have us, Deila, and we love you. Why not let some of us see your stuff? You'd get a ton of support.

Most of my family is worthless. I don't even involve them anymore. Other people are my real family.

Deilla · Aug 13, 2020 at 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

You have us, Deila, and we love you. Why not let some of us see your stuff? You'd get a ton of support.

Most of my family is worthless. I don't even involve them anymore. Other people are my real family.

Thank you! I would have to think about it. You're right though. I would get more support from my friends here. I've decided I won't involve my family anymore. Sorry your family isn't there for you.

bpcyclist · Aug 14, 2020 at 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deilla

Thank you! I would have to think about it. You're right though. I would get more support from my friends here. I've decided I won't involve my family anymore. Sorry your family isn't there for you.

I think we should accept love where we find it. It is fine. Plenty of people love me. Just not my brother. But that is fine.

God provides for me. Always.

will19 · Aug 14, 2020 at 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Most of my family is worthless. I don't even involve them anymore. Other people are my real family.

Same here. Other people (friends) have meant a lot more to me than my family ever did. As of now, there's not much going for me with friends. I'm working on it though it's not easy.

Family can be so difficult. They can either be a blessing or a burden.

Aug 14, 2020 at 08:40 PM

I'm in the same boat with family. They make me feel like I'm useless. You do have us here. We will try to support you any way we can. Sorry for your troubles, and your cat. My cat has diabetes I'm pretty sure. It's very hard to see a companion you love getting sick.

Deilla · Aug 14, 2020 at 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2daffodils

I'm in the same boat with family. They make me feel like I'm useless. You do have us here. We will try to support you any way we can. Sorry for your troubles, and your cat. My cat has diabetes I'm pretty sure. It's very hard to see a companion you love getting sick.

Thank you. Sorry about your cat. It is hard when our furbabies are sick and hurting.

Deilla · Aug 14, 2020 at 10:40 PM

I'm doing a little bit better now. My cat got an antibiotic and is doing much better. So that is a huge relief. I just feel very lonely. I'm not sure what I can do about that. I think sleep will help. In the mornings I feel good. I usually find something to keep me busy. Yea, if I just stay distracted I do well. Thanks for all the support!

Wandering by · Aug 14, 2020 at 11:04 PM

I'm just now realizing how selfish my family is. Coronavirus stress and lockdowns are bringing out a lot of people's true character.

I don't know what your situation is but a whole lot of people are damn lonely these days with no job and/or no social life. You may feel lonely but you're certainly not alone in that feeling.

Deilla · Aug 18, 2020 at 03:59 AM

I reached out to my mom yesterday cause I really wanted her help. My cat is very ill and in pain. The vet gave me pain pills for her and I was having a hard time giving her one. The vet suggested I get someone to help me. My mom couldn't do it right then and there. Of course, I didn't expect that. She suggested I use tuna and then got off the phone. Why didn't she offer to help later? Her excuse did not take up the whole day. It's just more proof that I am all alone and have no person to help me when I need it. I will never ask for her help again.

I was finally able to give my cat the medicine. It took a lot of trial and error. I'm tired of being helpless. I just should have gone back to the vet and asked them to help me.

If anything, I'm ashamed of myself for asking for help. That's how my mother makes me feel. Ashamed that I need help sometimes. And if anyone ever suggests I try to get someone to help me, I will full on rage and say I don't have anyone!

will19 · Aug 18, 2020 at 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deilla

I reached out to my mom yesterday cause I really wanted her help. My cat is very ill and in pain. The vet gave me pain pills for her and I was having a hard time giving her one. The vet suggested I get someone to help me. My mom couldn't do it right then and there. Of course, I didn't expect that. She suggested I use tuna and then got off the phone. Why didn't she offer to help later? Her excuse did not take up the whole day. It's just more proof that I am all alone and have no person to help me when I need it. I will never ask for her help again.

I was finally able to give my cat the medicine. It took a lot of trial and error. I'm tired of being helpless. I just should have gone back to the vet and asked them to help me.

If anything, I'm ashamed of myself for asking for help. That's how my mother makes me feel. Ashamed that I need help sometimes. And if anyone ever suggests I try to get someone to help me, I will full on rage and say I don't have anyone!

First of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your cat. It's a very painful thing to go though. Cats are so special. I was thinking you could grind up the pills into a powder and put it in the food or whatever the cat drinks. I've done that before and it worked.

Asking for help is hard for me. When it comes to that with my family; they are so needy that they call on me for favors they could do for themselves. And then when I need them for something, NOT THERE! And the excuses are so lame. If I turn them down for a favor, then I get a lecture on how selfish I am.

I feel like it's nice to have family but not so great when it's one-sided. For me it's either having a one-sided relationship or no relationship. So I chose no relationship. But it's hard when it has to come down to that.

Deilla · Aug 18, 2020 at 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will19

First of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your cat. It's a very painful thing to go though. Cats are so special. I was thinking you could grind up the pills into a powder and put it in the food or whatever the cat drinks. I've done that before and it worked.

Asking for help is hard for me. When it comes to that with my family; they are so needy that they call on me for favors they could do for themselves. And then when I need them for something, NOT THERE! And the excuses are so lame. If I turn them down for a favor, then I get a lecture on how selfish I am.

I feel like it's nice to have family but not so great when it's one-sided. For me it's either having a one-sided relationship or no relationship. So I chose no relationship. But it's hard when it has to come down to that.

Yes, it sounds hard when it has to come down to no-relationship. I feel immense disappointment with my family, but something deep down inside of me doesn't want to give up hope. I feel like I can keep adjusting expectations. Maybe my family and I should just say, "Hi, how's the weather," and nothing else.

My cat is due for more medication this afternoon. I had crushed a pill up yesterday and mixed it with tuna juice. She didn't want that. I will see if she wants it today. Otherwise, I will try to pop another pill in her mouth. Thanks!

bpcyclist · Aug 18, 2020 at 11:43 AM

Sorry about your cat, Deilla.

As surgeons, we are trained to be self-reliant. Captain of the ship. When everyone else is freaking, we have to remain calm and think.

So, I say, ask for help. All day long. Every day. What they taught us kills us. Everyone needs help. Everyone.

Deilla · Aug 18, 2020 at 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Sorry about your cat, Deilla.

As surgeons, we are trained to be self-reliant. Captain of the ship. When everyone else is freaking, we have to remain calm and think.

So, I say, ask for help. All day long. Every day. What they taught us kills us. Everyone needs help. Everyone.

Thank you! What I ended up doing was going to a spiritual site and requesting a prayer. I didn't know what else to do. Within 30 minutes, I was successful at giving her a pill. She cooperated with me. What I had asked for was a way for her to help me help her. I feel confident that today will go well too.

Thanks again.

LilyMop · Aug 18, 2020 at 11:59 AM

I’m sorry about your cat. I’m sorry you didn’t get any help giving her medication.

I don’t really have a ‘family’ anymore... just my husband and my pets. I’m learning to be ok with that. It’s difficult. I understand how lonely and frustrating it is when you are facing challenges on your own.

You have support here. Big hug to you.

Deilla · Aug 18, 2020 at 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyMop

I’m sorry about your cat. I’m sorry you didn’t get any help giving her medication.

I don’t really have a ‘family’ anymore... just my husband and my pets. I’m learning to be ok with that. It’s difficult. I understand how lonely and frustrating it is when you are facing challenges on your own.

You have support here. Big hug to you.

Thank you! I'm working with my therapist on it. She seems to understand too. Hugs back at you!

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Really Not Doing Well

My Support Forums

will19 Grand Magnate Member Since Oct 2012 Posts: 3,619 11 1,102 hugs given	Aug 12, 2020 at 05:49 PM #2 Sorry to hear that. I'm having a struggle with my family, too, and it seems like it's always been that way. I don't have any suggestions or advice to give you. Just a hug. Nice to see you on here.
	Reply With Quote

Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	Aug 12, 2020 at 05:56 PM #3 Thank you! Hugs are appreciated. It's good to know we're not alone. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’
	Reply With Quote

Anonymous445852 Guest Posts: n/a	Aug 14, 2020 at 08:40 PM #8 I'm in the same boat with family. They make me feel like I'm useless. You do have us here. We will try to support you any way we can. Sorry for your troubles, and your cat. My cat has diabetes I'm pretty sure. It's very hard to see a companion you love getting sick.
	Reply With Quote

Wandering by Junior Member Member Since Aug 2020 Location: United States Posts: 21 3 10 hugs given	Aug 14, 2020 at 11:04 PM #11 I'm just now realizing how selfish my family is. Coronavirus stress and lockdowns are bringing out a lot of people's true character. I don't know what your situation is but a whole lot of people are damn lonely these days with no job and/or no social life. You may feel lonely but you're certainly not alone in that feeling.
	Reply With Quote

LilyMop Veteran Member Member Since Sep 2019 Location: U.S. Posts: 709 4 81 hugs given	Aug 18, 2020 at 11:59 AM #17 I’m sorry about your cat. I’m sorry you didn’t get any help giving her medication. I don’t really have a ‘family’ anymore... just my husband and my pets. I’m learning to be ok with that. It’s difficult. I understand how lonely and frustrating it is when you are facing challenges on your own. You have support here. Big hug to you.
	Reply With Quote