Using imagery

Deilla · Sep 04, 2020 at 10:41 PM

Often I post about my relationships to my family and how upsetting it can be. I've been working hard on distancing myself, lower expectations and trying to be understanding. But I really need is to let go. It's easier said than done.

Yesterday, I reached out to three family members. I have 9 total. So I'm getting better. I felt like I could try with these three. Two ignored me and one was semi-supportive. I was heartbroken for hours. So I started working on my imagery.

I used Sci-Fi imagery and I put all my family members in a tiny spaceship launched from the "Mother Ship". I then sent them on their way and I teleported away from them into a faraway galaxy so that I could never see them again. I even jumped to a different time so that we would never cross paths. Over and over I imagine this. I lock them away in that ship for all eternity. It helps me cope and feel better.

Does anyone else use guided imagery to deal with people, places or things that cause problems for them?

Deilla · Sep 04, 2020 at 10:56 PM

One more thing I feel compelled to add. When I reach out to my family, I say Hi, ask how they are doing or share my creative work with them. It doesn't matter what it is. I am ignored for the most part. Recently I published my first Kindle book. I was so excited, I shared with my mom, my sister J and my daughter. My sister J was the only person who said anything. It's disappointing my daughter didn't say a word. But she doesn't ever say much to me anyway. What hurt the most was my mom ignoring me. Atleast I didn't put myself out there too much for rejection. But I am done with all of my family.

Deilla · Sep 18, 2020 at 10:26 AM

I've been working on letting go of resentment. That means moving past the harsh feelings I have toward my family. So I said, "Good morning! How are you?" to every one. My mom's only response was, 'Ok'. I was being a good, kind person when I sent out those messages. I had love in my heart. I don't feel like my mom is wanting to have a relationship with me. I asked her if she was angry at me. She hasn't responded and she probably won't. Oh well. I'm just waiting on everyone else to respond. At least I tried. I can still let go of the resentment. It's on them. Not on me.

Deilla · Sep 18, 2020 at 10:27 AM

My imagery right now is me being a ray of light. I'm shining. And it doesn't matter what anyone else does.

Sep 18, 2020 at 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deilla

Often I post about my relationships to my family and how upsetting it can be. I've been working hard on distancing myself, lower expectations and trying to be understanding. But I really need is to let go. It's easier said than done.

Yesterday, I reached out to three family members. I have 9 total. So I'm getting better. I felt like I could try with these three. Two ignored me and one was semi-supportive. I was heartbroken for hours. So I started working on my imagery.

I used Sci-Fi imagery and I put all my family members in a tiny spaceship launched from the "Mother Ship". I then sent them on their way and I teleported away from them into a faraway galaxy so that I could never see them again. I even jumped to a different time so that we would never cross paths. Over and over I imagine this. I lock them away in that ship for all eternity. It helps me cope and feel better.

Does anyone else use guided imagery to deal with people, places or things that cause problems for them?

the short answer, no

but my family in a spaceship... hmm. I'd like that.

I mean it's not like they did anything useful on earth.

Possible trigger:

abandoned me with trauma and abuse and flew to africa as they couldn't stand to be in the same country as me

yep. my family in a spaceship sounds perfect

Deilla · Sep 18, 2020 at 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raging vortex

the short answer, no

but my family in a spaceship... hmm. I'd like that.

I mean it's not like they did anything useful on earth.

Possible trigger:

abandoned me with trauma and abuse and flew to africa as they couldn't stand to be in the same country as me

yep. my family in a spaceship sounds perfect

Sorry your family did that. Yea, it helps draw a line or helps you feel better, I think anyway.

Fuzzybear · Sep 18, 2020 at 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deilla

I've been working on letting go of resentment. That means moving past the harsh feelings I have toward my family. So I said, "Good morning! How are you?" to every one. My mom's only response was, 'Ok'. I was being a good, kind person when I sent out those messages. I had love in my heart. I don't feel like my mom is wanting to have a relationship with me. I asked her if she was angry at me. She hasn't responded and she probably won't. Oh well. I'm just waiting on everyone else to respond. At least I tried. I can still let go of the resentment. It's on them. Not on me.

That's not kind. I agree, its on them, not you.

I like your imagery of a ray of light, shining

RoxanneToto · Sep 18, 2020 at 02:23 PM

I’m sorry your family weren’t excited for your book, I hope you’re still proud of your achievement regardless. Congratulations!
To answer your question, I do use imagery myself, usually it involves violence (can be slapstick, but usually errs on the more brutal side...) or some form of imagined karma. I admit it’s probably not the healthiest coping mechanism (violent thoughts, I mean). I don’t think of anyone in my family like this, just strangers who have gone out of their way to be nasty to me.

Breaking Dawn · Sep 21, 2020 at 08:46 AM

Hi, Deilla. I just found your thread. I haven't visited Depression in a while. I do use what I call visualization for many purposes. I feel so sad when you talk about the way your family treats you. You are such a lovely & good person, the only thing that makes sense to me is that they are bitter & jealous. And maybe your consistent kindness makes them feel guilty & they resent you for that. You know, like you "kill them with kindness", though it's unintentional. Also, we inherit our so-called family members. A real family supports & loves you. I think we're better off creating our own family with people we like & who like us. We can help them & they can help us. The other kind of family only pushes us down & crushes our joy.

Hugs & much love to you, dear wonderful friend!!

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Deilla Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2017 Location: Limsa Lominsa Posts: 29,401 (SuperPoster!) 6 49.2k hugs given	Sep 18, 2020 at 10:27 AM #4 My imagery right now is me being a ray of light. I'm shining. And it doesn't matter what anyone else does. __________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’
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