[jrae]

wish i could un-hear sh** like this.

people imply or even say (in not so many words) - no matter what you are dealing with or going thru, it's never 'as-bad as'...
the relative who has MS; or that family friend or in-law who was just diagnosed with cancer; or that person who's infant child died; or that relative / person who has "real pain"; or even you brought this on yourself by not 'doing better'!


people should never project that onto those with depression and so much else. it literally destroys them from the inside out. for one thing, it makes you feel that you can't tell those people anything. and it also de-values not only you but what you experience as well.


after hearing things like that, i just wanna curl up in a ball and pull my blankie up over my head, turning the tv up loud to drown everything out.......

[Skeezyks]

I never hear this sort of thing from people because I don't talk to anyone (except my wife.) But I struggle with this sort of thing in my own head... feeling as if my issues are pretty paltry compared with some of the horrendous things one hears about other people going through. But there's nothing I can do about it. My issues are my issues & I'm stuck with 'em. Curling up in a ball with my blankie pulled up over my head sounds good to me.

[yaitso]

Originally Posted by jrae

after hearing things like that, i just wanna curl up in a ball and pull my blankie up over my head, turning the tv up loud to drown everything out.......

Don't let the bastards grind you down. People who have never dealt with this **** don't know what it's like. The worthlessness, the hopelessness, the suicidal thoughts. The almost unbearable pain of existence and the desire to escape it. The self-destructiveness. They don't get it because they've had comparatively easy lives.

The only kernel of truth in what they say is that you can get out of it if you keep plugging and find the answers you need. I personally had an epiphany yesterday where I finally understood how critical self-love is. Not in some hippie-dippy, airy-fairy sense; but in the sense that if you don't love yourself, the evil part of your nature as a human will do its best to torture, punish, and ultimately destroy you.

I still don't know how to love myself in a practical sense, but I do know I need to figure it out and will be working intensively on it in therapy. I don't know if that's the answer you need, but I think self-love is a prerequisite to achieving many of the other qualities that depression steals from you: confidence, energy, sociability, self-esteem, and so forth.

And the alternative, self-hatred, ensures that you will remain stuck where you are.

[Fuzzybear]

Some ''People'' LOVE to compare, label and project. I do not care for ''people'' like that

hugs

[jrae]

Originally Posted by yaitso

Don't let the bastards grind you down. People who have never dealt with this **** don't know what it's like. The worthlessness, the hopelessness, the suicidal thoughts. The almost unbearable pain of existence and the desire to escape it. The self-destructiveness. They don't get it because they've had comparatively easy lives.

i LOVE it -> "bastards" !!! i usually don't go that far with the anger but this may be the exception! and unfortunately, i'm related to the 'bastards'

and not looking for any real 'answers' ..... maybe just that someone some-where understands

ditto this post. it is so degrading
I often wonder if people who say this type of thing are just so wrapped up in their own life, and their own problems, they simply don't care

that: or simply don't know what to say so just shrug it off. it'ss not right, but a possibility

I find it really hard to accept that so many people are that shallow, but, this is the world we are living in. it's to be expected (again, not right, but.)

[KBMK]

Too true, I'd pay to unhear it sometimes. I get my sister on the phone telling me my brother is JUST crazy, so I think of something to say that HAS to remind her he is HUMAN and so is she, and so am I ...well she gets sarcastic after that and I say see ya later... I won't collude exhausting though. Ignorant...and it is the world we're living in that it's usually these people that can just get on with their self serving jobs and feel smug about themselves, always looking for someone to scapegoat for their own problems

[Train of Thought]

@jrae Yes, those kind of comments tend to drain the energy level and basically everything nice from ones mind. Must be hard to hear it from your own family. Curling up under a blanket is my go to strategy,too. Hope it gives you enough comfort to recharge.
What makes these comments even harder to deflect is that they are similar to the comments my self hatred constantly makes me think. Which makes me believe in them even more... and down the rabbit hole I go.
And just as @yaitso I have realized I need self love to heal these wounds... but so far all my attempts are merely that.
And maybe we really need to get angry. Not to bite back at them. But maybe to fight the aftermath of their thoughtless garbage? Although... what do I know my anger and energy dwindles away faster than I can react.

[sarahsweets]

The sad truth is that everything else aside, some people are giant assholes.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

The sad truth is that everything else aside, some people are giant assholes.

I agree...

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

ditto this post. it is so degrading
I often wonder if people who say this type of thing are just so wrapped up in their own life, and their own problems, they simply don't care

that: or simply don't know what to say so just shrug it off. it'ss not right, but a possibility

I find it really hard to accept that so many people are that shallow

Good post