[ProfessionalLoser]

How does someone cope with their depression and thoughts of the past effectively? I feel like I can't do anything. It's pretty difficult to pursue my interests that I have, I'd like to do a lot of things when it comes to creating stuff. Everyday feels like the same, I get dumb and dark thoughts about myself, I often think about the past. I wish I could get over the past, but I don't seem to ever get over it. I was physically abused as a child by a nanny, she was very disturbing and scary to me, I remember wetting myself because I was scared of doing something wrong, I never told my parents about it until few years ago. I also never did good in school, it has affected my self worth a lot. I wasn't diagnosed with autism (high functioning) until I was 18, maybe if that was sorted out earlier it might've helped with school? but I doubt about that, to be honest. After I was done with school, I've felt like a failure ever since and despite my best efforts, my score were useless as I would call it. I wish I could get over these memories, they're in the past, but I have a hard time of letting go for some reason.

Sorry if there's any spelling/grammar errors.

I didn't do well at school, either

I hated most subjects, most teachers, and the so called " class mates" hated me.

eventually, I was asked to leave by the headmistress (yes, asked to leave).

I think part of it was because of my panic attacks (she viewed them as very disruptive), and the other was that I was in hospital for long stretches of time, missing out on so much work- and at the rate I remembered things (or didn't), it would have taken me a decade to catch up to the other children

I felt like a failure too. it was bad enough that I didn't have any qualifications, but being told " you can't work", well that was basically it... so much for my dream of becoming a theme park engineer/ technitian.
I was abused a lot too (parents), and I'd love to wake up 1 day and forget the trauma

but, I don't think it's going to happen. this is my family we're talking about. their's no second family, their's no choosing a new one, for the rest of my life I have to live with the fact

Possible trigger:

that my parents not only abused me, but tried to kill me twice

I think another thing that makes it so hard to forget the past (at least for me), is the fact that new things (new traumatic things) keep happening in my life.

their is always something to think about

it's like my step brother

he died years ago (2007), and people still talk about him like he's got his own career and his own family

it sucks

[Fuzzybear]

hmmm.... I think that if somebody takes it upon themselves to judge another human being and say ''you can't work'' they could, possibly, be wrong.

I feel like a ''failure'' too because I had panic attacks at school and not many class mates liked me. I did pass the exams though (parents would have thrown me out if I did not)

At 17 I was branded ''a failure'' as I was sacked from a horrible job in a hotel (far away from the ''family'' home... that was what they wanted...) I cannot think of a job less suited to that bear cub I still was I was smart but NOT practical... I hadn't even been taught how to wash up And I failed most of the practicals in my science A levels ... quite spectacularly, (mostly due to panic and anxiety) but still got good grades somehow

In order to ''get over'' the past, it helps to have someone who really listens, whether this is a good friend or a professional. Sometimes it isn't possible to fully ''get over'' the past but everyone is a work in progress.

What does NOT help is when people invalidate us and compare pain.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

it's like my step brother

he died years ago (2007), and people still talk about him like he's got his own career and his own family

it sucks

Whoever these people are, they are insane.

[nicoleflynn]

There are some things we never get over (I was physically and verbally....sexually abused as a child....all we can do is process it as much as possible; keeping a journal is helpful; talking to people who understand and therapy are all helpful tools.