I need to talk to someone

Hello all. Pretty new here. I feel depressed and isolated with no one to talk to about my problems. I have ADHD, OCD, shyness, and depression issues so have always struggled with job stability. I put up with a lot of abuse at certain jobs because I took what I could get. I was at one toxic workplace for 3 years, where I felt I had to stay so I could pay my bills.
My anxiety was so high there, that even after I left I was still lying on my bed for two hours a day, doing whatever I could to calm down.

So my doctor put me on Prozac. And it worked like a miracle. In three days my anxiety went away and I could focus great for the first time in my life. I got a good job where I was respected, and soon moved to a beautiful city I always wanted to live in ( was a renting, didn't own the house).

Then everything went to skies. Coronavirus hit, so my new social life ended and I was lonely again. Then I lost my job, two days later my car was totaled, and I wound up having to move back in with my parents (I'm over 30). My medication also wore off and I feel like I cam't focus on ANYTHING anymore, or make a decent longterm plan. Depression isn't helping.
I have a sister nearby and her kids that I hung out with a lot. They've been my main social life, my lifeline in this tiny town I don't fit in with.

Out of nowhere my sister started getting angry at me for not getting a car and a job by now. She has been pushing this even when Covid first hit and jobs were scarce. She's convinced the whole Covid thing is practically a hoax, and I need to act like it isn't happening. She said she wants to pull off people's masks when she sees them, and she's not interested in anyone else's opinion about it.

Anyway, she started getting judgmental about all sorts of stuff and doesn't want me over at her house much anymore (I was there about 3 times a week). I think she's trying to punish me for not getting my own place, car, and job.

She's practically a cult member with the way she follows Trump, so I don't want to be around her much anymore but I'm starting to miss the kids. And I'm super isolated.
I'm not bashing Trump supporters, but SHE has been taking things to a worrying degree.
I told another sister how badly she talked to me and that sister started gaslighting me and acting like I imagined it. She lives two states over and has not seen how the sister here talks to me lately but kept taking her side anyway. None of them ever show any understanding or compassion for people with depression or financial struggles, and since that's my world right now, I can't talk to either of them without feeling looked dow on. Neither of their financial situations changed after Covid.
I'm cutting them all off for now, and I'm glad not to be talked down to for having problems they don't have, but I'm also more isolated than ever.
Thank you to anyone who read this, even just some of it. It made me feel so much better to get this off my chest. I'm so glad there are people on here who do understand my struggles.

It's good to hear you get this off your chest and I hope you do it more often. Look on the bright side of all that's happening, it gets better 🙂

Thank you, I hope so

Ugh, you have gone through a lot this year! It's too bad your sisters don't understand or have more compassion for your situation. I can see why you would want to take a break from contact with either of them. You are making the best choices and decisions you can in these circumstances.

I'm struggling with isolation during Covid. I think of myself as an introvert and am somewhat surprised at how lousy it is to just not see anyone. It was different when it was my own choice!

I hope you feel alright, I’m sending positive energy through 🌸

Isolation is the worst, isn't it? I'm also an introvert so I can be alone a lot but this is TOO much. I'm going to church tomorrow even though I'm not religious. I just have to see people!
I wonder how long I can stop talking to my sisters before they even notice.

Unsupportive family suck. I have a half ''brother'' who just dumped me. At an extremely bad time. Heartless. We have no contact now. Given who his mother is though, I guess its to be expected. Extremely arrogant, Narcissistic and selfish. It hurts. I was kind to him

I'm sorry fuzzy. That's hard to imagine because you seem like such a kind person. It really hurts because it seems like family should be there for you, always.
I was always more loving to my family than they were to me. It took some crises to realize they won't be there for me when I need them, like I thought they would be...I'm still dealing with some shock.

I understand, that's very hurtful

American culture has been taking a worrying trend towards cruelty really even before Trump. Some people I think feel powerless over their lives and the people who are really the ones making their lives suck are either hidden from them or just seem to powerful to bring down or are held up as in fact the people we are supposed to aspire to. The only people they have to direct their frustrations on then are people that have no power and often are unable to defend themselves. I’m sorry that things are so tough for you now. There will be a world on the other side of all this we have even seen a few glimpses of it I would argue and it might not be so bad.

You're right, AnnoyedGrunt (love the name). I think that could very well be what was going on with my sister in this case.

That's funny -I have a different picture in my mind of what's happening in America. I always think people are getting kinder and less ignorant. But since the internet has exposed how bad things are everything just seems worse..

Maybe the country/world will be better after all this is over. It's always darkest before dawn....I love that quote.
Y'all are making me feel better, thanks

Well I was drawn to your post in part because I have deep political and religious disagreements with my sister as well. We usually don't argue much at family gatherings but that's because I'm often grinding my teeth to the gums. I also don't want to traumatize my nieces by arguing with her all the time.

Hi. Something I've been doing for socializing during this time of social distancing is playing party games over Google Meet. I mostly play Jackbox games. These are super fun, interactive games that you don't have to be into video games to play. A lot of the games involve trivia or drawing. I run the games from my laptop and then screen share it over Google Meet. I rejoined up with Facebook and friended a ton of people I haven't talked to since probably high school. I'll invite anyone to the games. The more people you invite and the more often you invite them, the more likely you'll get someone to come. I use Facebook events for the invitations and sometimes Google calender events for people not on Facebook. It's a good time. I promote the games pretty hard on Facebook. I message people to tell them about it. I'm going to try live streaming my next gaming session and see if that gets more people interested. Anyhow, these online games have been the primary source of socializing for me during the pandemic. You could try organizing something like that. It's great because you can reconnect with people you haven't seen in a long time and play games with people in other states, maybe even other countries. Drinking while playing the games makes it feel just like a party, but I'm actually trying to cut out the drinking. I just mention that if you are into that. This is a way that maybe you could take control of your social life and socialize with people again, if you are up for trying something new.

That sounds like a lot of fun, Singularity. I'm not much into playing games online but you made it sound tempting....And I used to drink a lot, til I became an alcoholic. So no more of that

AnnoyedGrunt, the thing that makes this so hard for me is that I have a family that loves me, so I was expecting them to be more empathetic when I turned to them.

It seems a lot of religious people wind up being the only ones who can speak their minds when it comes to politics and religion. They can get so harsh towards anyone with a different opinion, like they think it's a sin to disagree.

The social isolation can be very difficult. COVID has been a pain for those who are considered essential too. I, regretfully, am in a position where I see things from different views. The families that are struggling, the individuals who have no family and only have paid professionals coming into their homes. It's so sad.

I think one limiting belief that has happened around mental illness is that meds and therapy are the best combination for getting through this crap of mental issues. I have tried far too many meds that have worked then failed, or failed and made things worse. In the last few weeks, I discovered that the mental health system is broken!!! There is far too much stigma for all Involved! Many of us put faith in meds, and then we miss what anxiety, fear, and other emotions are trying to help us make the best life for ourselves. What if we change and have compassion for ourselves and then look into why and what we need to do to release the troubling emotions.

Anxiety tells us something is wrong, and some of us turn to meds and we then don't learn what anxiety is communicating to us. Behavior got us into this mess of being labeled mentally unhealthy. Why is it that meds and therapy have to be the only solution?

Of course this is my view. And I'm making the changes to work through instead of push away the labeled feelings of negativity.

Part of this is a rant,bit it seems to fit. I don't mean to create contention or any other thing. Just simply stating my view.

Vent away. There needs to be places for struggling people to express themselves without judgment. I benefitted from prozac and therapy, but I also had a couple sessions with therapists who were more damaging than helpful, and wasted my money..
I do hate how a person might be diagnosed with a disorder, when the environment that person is living in isn't taken into consideration. A lot of people who are anxious and feel off balance emotionally, might be getting abused at home, school, work, or somewhere. They might have a nutritional deficiency or hormone problems.
I think a major reason for my depression, as well as other's, is that we live in a fairly selfish society. When I went to a suicide forum a while back, general selfishness of people was the most common complaint of the members on the forum.
A lot of people would heal right up if they were surrounded by healthy, kind hearted people for a while.
Thanks for the replies, everyone. .

I just don’t understand why people can’t see that the brain can malfunction just like any other organ. We need better treatments for mental health issues.