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Old 10-17-2020, 09:42 AM   #1
Wandering by
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Default I need to talk to someone

Hello all. Pretty new here. I feel depressed and isolated with no one to talk to about my problems. I have ADHD, OCD, shyness, and depression issues so have always struggled with job stability. I put up with a lot of abuse at certain jobs because I took what I could get. I was at one toxic workplace for 3 years, where I felt I had to stay so I could pay my bills.
My anxiety was so high there, that even after I left I was still lying on my bed for two hours a day, doing whatever I could to calm down.

So my doctor put me on Prozac. And it worked like a miracle. In three days my anxiety went away and I could focus great for the first time in my life. I got a good job where I was respected, and soon moved to a beautiful city I always wanted to live in ( was a renting, didn't own the house).

Then everything went to skies. Coronavirus hit, so my new social life ended and I was lonely again. Then I lost my job, two days later my car was totaled, and I wound up having to move back in with my parents (I'm over 30). My medication also wore off and I feel like I cam't focus on ANYTHING anymore, or make a decent longterm plan. Depression isn't helping.
I have a sister nearby and her kids that I hung out with a lot. They've been my main social life, my lifeline in this tiny town I don't fit in with.

Out of nowhere my sister started getting angry at me for not getting a car and a job by now. She has been pushing this even when Covid first hit and jobs were scarce. She's convinced the whole Covid thing is practically a hoax, and I need to act like it isn't happening. She said she wants to pull off people's masks when she sees them, and she's not interested in anyone else's opinion about it.

Anyway, she started getting judgmental about all sorts of stuff and doesn't want me over at her house much anymore (I was there about 3 times a week). I think she's trying to punish me for not getting my own place, car, and job.

She's practically a cult member with the way she follows Trump, so I don't want to be around her much anymore but I'm starting to miss the kids. And I'm super isolated.
I'm not bashing Trump supporters, but SHE has been taking things to a worrying degree.
I told another sister how badly she talked to me and that sister started gaslighting me and acting like I imagined it. She lives two states over and has not seen how the sister here talks to me lately but kept taking her side anyway. None of them ever show any understanding or compassion for people with depression or financial struggles, and since that's my world right now, I can't talk to either of them without feeling looked dow on. Neither of their financial situations changed after Covid.
I'm cutting them all off for now, and I'm glad not to be talked down to for having problems they don't have, but I'm also more isolated than ever.
Thank you to anyone who read this, even just some of it. It made me feel so much better to get this off my chest. I'm so glad there are people on here who do understand my struggles.
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Old 10-17-2020, 10:06 AM   #2
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Default Re: I need to talk to someone

It's good to hear you get this off your chest and I hope you do it more often. Look on the bright side of all that's happening, it gets better 🙂
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Old 10-17-2020, 10:48 AM   #3
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Thank you, I hope so
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Old 10-17-2020, 12:42 PM   #4
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Default Re: I need to talk to someone

Ugh, you have gone through a lot this year! It's too bad your sisters don't understand or have more compassion for your situation. I can see why you would want to take a break from contact with either of them. You are making the best choices and decisions you can in these circumstances.

I'm struggling with isolation during Covid. I think of myself as an introvert and am somewhat surprised at how lousy it is to just not see anyone. It was different when it was my own choice!
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Old 10-17-2020, 03:34 PM   #5
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I hope you feel alright, Im sending positive energy through 🌸
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Old 10-17-2020, 07:06 PM   #6
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Isolation is the worst, isn't it? I'm also an introvert so I can be alone a lot but this is TOO much. I'm going to church tomorrow even though I'm not religious. I just have to see people!
I wonder how long I can stop talking to my sisters before they even notice.
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Old 10-17-2020, 09:58 PM   #7
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Isolation is the worst, isn't it? I'm also an introvert so I can be alone a lot but this is TOO much. I'm going to church tomorrow even though I'm not religious. I just have to see people!
I wonder how long I can stop talking to my sisters before they even notice.
Unsupportive family suck. I have a half ''brother'' who just dumped me. At an extremely bad time. Heartless. We have no contact now. Given who his mother is though, I guess its to be expected. Extremely arrogant, Narcissistic and selfish. It hurts. I was kind to him
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Old 10-17-2020, 10:33 PM   #8
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I'm sorry fuzzy. That's hard to imagine because you seem like such a kind person. It really hurts because it seems like family should be there for you, always.
I was always more loving to my family than they were to me. It took some crises to realize they won't be there for me when I need them, like I thought they would be...I'm still dealing with some shock.
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Old 10-17-2020, 10:39 PM   #9
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I'm sorry fuzzy. That's hard to imagine because you seem like such a kind person. It really hurts because it seems like family should be there for you, always.
I was always more loving to my family than they were to me. It took some crises to realize they won't be there for me when I need them, like I thought they would be...I'm still dealing with some shock.


I understand, that's very hurtful
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Old 10-17-2020, 11:02 PM   #10
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American culture has been taking a worrying trend towards cruelty really even before Trump. Some people I think feel powerless over their lives and the people who are really the ones making their lives suck are either hidden from them or just seem to powerful to bring down or are held up as in fact the people we are supposed to aspire to. The only people they have to direct their frustrations on then are people that have no power and often are unable to defend themselves. Im sorry that things are so tough for you now. There will be a world on the other side of all this we have even seen a few glimpses of it I would argue and it might not be so bad.
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