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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
9 634 hugs
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#1
I can never be the person I want to be, I have already made to many mistakes have to many skeletons in my closet. I also just don’t seem to have the energy level of nearly all other people that I know, they are able to focus and get really ambitious projects done or at least stay busy and I just can’t do those things. So why even bother at all? I am a burden or an embarrassment to my family and I neither see any way that I can be of benefit to anyone, or anything that life has to offer me.
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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3rd rock, Anonymous41462
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
Posts: 10,019
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#2
Quote:
Quote:
It's possible you may not be able to see anything until you are on the other side of the crisis. For several years I "ran on empty" until something happened. Are you running on empty? How are you managing to do it? (I don't remember or know how I managed to keep going in those years.) __________________ My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it. |
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annoyedgrunt84, RoxanneToto
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annoyedgrunt84
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
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#3
Quote:
You are NOT: lazy, crazy, stupid, ugly, horrible, terrible, useless, worthless, unloveable, evil, unworthy, or insignificant. You are human. You have flaws. You have gifts. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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annoyedgrunt84
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annoyedgrunt84, RoxanneToto
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
9 634 hugs
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#4
Quote:
I have started on meds again I haven't messaged my counselor since January and now I'm almost afraid to she'll think I died. Besides it doesn't really seem to be helping NOTHING EVER CHANGES. I wish I could find my old therapist I had about 7 years ago. I felt I could really open up with them and tell them everything that is going on with me, but I don't know how to find them again. __________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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Rohag
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
Posts: 10,019
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#5
__________________ My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it. |
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annoyedgrunt84
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annoyedgrunt84
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,150
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#6
I also believe that having a genuine confidant is priceless and rare.
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annoyedgrunt84
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annoyedgrunt84, Rohag
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
9 634 hugs
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#7
Yes I miss having a truly trusted confidante so much.
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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Rohag
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Junior Member
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: United States
Posts: 21
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#8
I feel that way now. Why bother? I haven't been bothering for a month now. It's hard to believe not long ago, before the pandemic, I was on top of the world and full of goals and expectations.
It's depression telling you (and me) negative things like this---that nothing can get better. We can't be like other people. You're not at your best right now, and it isn't your fault, either. It's like being sick and it's impossible to be doing as well as if we weren't sick. It's impossible to see things clearly when you're down. I hope you find the help that you need, soon. |
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annoyedgrunt84
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annoyedgrunt84
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
9 634 hugs
given |
#9
One of the hardest parts for me is looking at the people I admire (I won’t share any specific names because it doesn’t matter anyway) and thinking I can never be like them I have already screwed up.
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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Rohag
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
Posts: 10,019
15 15.2k hugs
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#10
Feel free to ignore the questions. (These are very roughly similar to questions I've asked myself.)
1. "I can never be like them" 2. "I have already screwed up." What is the relationship between 1 and 2? Is it possible you "can never be like them" for reasons other than "I have already screwed up?" Is there an attainable "you," relatively undefined by "them," to which you can realistically aspire? __________________ My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it. |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,150
16 747 hugs
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#11
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
9 634 hugs
given |
#12
Quote:
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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gubernova, Rohag
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Rohag
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