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whisperingskye
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Trig Nov 14, 2020 at 06:20 PM
  #1
It’s been a long time since I posted in here.

The last few nights I’ve been getting some self destructive thoughts. Last night, was to start skipping meals again

Tonight to start skipping meds again.

And well, it’s all downhill from here really.
Possible trigger:


I’ve been doing so well, and I’m terrified I’m about to throw that all away. But at the same time, I’m not sure I want to stop myself.

There’s part of me that’s telling me I’m way overdue this self punishment and I guess I believe it..

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Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Failure.
Failure - Breaking Benjamin

Last edited by CANDC; Dec 22, 2020 at 04:44 PM.. Reason: remove method of ending life
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Default Nov 15, 2020 at 10:58 AM
  #2
Whisperingskye

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Default Nov 17, 2020 at 02:41 PM
  #3
Hello, Whisperingskye. Feel free to ignore the question: Is skipping meals a self-punitive end in itself, or does skipping meals help you skip taking meds?
I send my best wishes for a gentle resolution of the current crisis.

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Default Nov 20, 2020 at 02:27 PM
  #4
I struggle with stopping meds. I gag on meds, so it’s unpleasant physically and mentally. I can’t stay well without them though.

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Default Nov 20, 2020 at 02:36 PM
  #5
I'll skip right over any posts about meds... since I am allergic to MANY of them.

I hope things get better for you soon. I often think of you. PM me any time


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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 12:19 AM
  #6
I wish I could stay ''well'' without having any contact with the ''professionals''.... and as said before.. meds are not an option. I was also called ''the worried well''.... oooh how some of those ''people'' love their labels. And another of them said I was ''not a well person''

Their insults contradict each other



My apologies to those many professionals who care and do an adequate job,

i wish there were more of those in this forest.....

and if only they invent some MAGIC pill that I am not allergic to.....so ''fuzzy bear'' can be ''well''

(sorry about the grr in your thread)

hugs and respect

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 12:25 AM
  #7
How are things now friend? (only answer if ok) I'm sending gentle hugs

I think the self punishment thing comes from early trauma, abuse and neglect (I know it does for me ) I think you deserve good things (not punishment


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Default Dec 21, 2020 at 10:01 PM
  #8
Still thinking of you. I'm sending warm, positive vibes

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Default Dec 24, 2020 at 08:14 PM
  #9
Thank you fuzzy for continually trying to get a response out of me. I guess I posted this and then chose to ignore it.

You know, things have got pretty weird since this post.

I broke up with my girlfriend, never saw that coming. I got covid. Slowly getting over that now. And my head is all over the bloody place. I wish I could say with certainty how I felt, but for now all I know is, I’m here, I’m breathing, and I’m safe. So that’s something I think

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Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left.
Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down.
Failure.
Failure - Breaking Benjamin
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