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poiseandpen
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Unhappy Jun 25, 2014 at 04:11 PM
  #1
Hello all ...

I have struggled with depression for many years, and depending on what is happening in my life is how deep the depression goes. On top of that, I have Multiple Sclerosis, Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, etc, etc, etc ...

It can be and is often overwhelming, and I cannot seem to get a grasp on any of it. I am so tired from seeing so many doctors, and trying to address my pain issues. I hurt 24/7 and get very little relief.

I just found a pain management doctor, who doesn't even want to prescribe muscle relaxers, which do help me when have them. I cry a lot, and sometimes wish "an act of nature" or some other event, would kill me to put me out of my misery. I am NOT suicidal, but I can't stand living this way either.

I feel hopeless at times, and go for days at times, neglecting myself. I am married (no children) and even though my husband knows how I suffer, I believe he has no idea how depressed I truly am. I tell him, I do ... but I think he just can't comprehend just how bad off I am. I feel so alone at times, and pray I can just go to sleep and not wake up.

Can anyone relate to any of this? I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. I only get relief when I am asleep, and unaware of my physical and emotional pain. I dread waking up, only to start the cycle all over again for another day.

Please, if anyone has suggestions, I would very much appreciate to hear what you have to say. Thanks so much.
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Default Jun 25, 2014 at 10:56 PM
  #2
Hello, poiseandpen, and welcome to Psych Central! I have Bipolar along with some painful medical issues. I see a therapist and a psychiatrist and both say that pain and depression go together. And I can certainly attest to that.

I also see a pain doctor. Why is yours opposed to muscle relaxants?

I take Tramadol, Hydrocodon-Tylenol, and Cymbalta for my pain. I also take Wellbutrin, Kolonopin, and Trazodone for my bipolar/anxiety.

I just started taking the Cymbalta on top of everything else and am pleased with the results. It is also an antidepressant and helps with anxiety. Maybe you can ask your doc about it.

Keep in touch. I hope you feel less pain and therefore less depression soon. I do know depression is associated with MS, too.
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Default Jun 26, 2014 at 11:33 AM
  #3
Yes i can.im going thru a some what simular situation.been mentaly disabled(SSA) since 2008 or so.im 35 now.ive been thrown around/abused by medical system always.now in the last 3 years ive developed physical issues.ive always been physicaly healthy and it started just one day outta nowhere my right pinkey finger hurt like i may have jabbed it or something but by afternoon it was red & stiff & hurt like an s.o.b. bit a tendonitise they said.well its ravaged my entire body.everything screams in various pain,my insides either boil or freeze,my skin hurts to touch and muscle weakness and severe fatigue and feel like i got a rancid flu everyday.it all happend gradually.throwing pills without testing first made all worse. M.s. or lupus are the top ones yet i get nothing.no meds,tests,treatments.im being left to suffer to death.
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Default Jun 29, 2014 at 12:03 PM
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I wish I had some suggestions but I don't. I just want to say you aren't alone. Like you I have an alphabet of conditions. Personally I hate doctors because some of my worst problems were caused by docs. I can't trust doctors to help me because they've caused such major problems.

Life hurts. Pain management specialists I've known don't help at all. I buy opiates from a neighbor kid who's in high school. That helps a lot, but I don't like to do it.

Yeah, I don't have the strength to end it all - but if something happened, I'd be grateful. When I'm in a car I always think about how nice it would be if a truck hit just my side of the car. (I don't drive)

Hang in there - we never know what the future holds. Sending you good wishes.
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Default Jun 29, 2014 at 03:43 PM
  #5
I have felt that way 2-3 times in various illnesses in the past for up to 2-3 months and remember how difficult it was to think of maybe having to live with it forever. Have you rank ordered your various pains/illnesses and tried to affect just one particular one? When I am desperate for sleep and cannot because of the pain of my arthritis or my neck/shoulder/arm pains, etc. I get up anyway and change position, distract myself, have something to eat and drink (drinking enough water, not something I like to do, often seems to make a difference) and go to the bathroom, and sometimes that can make all the difference. Sometimes just being up an hour and a half, wearily doing stuff online can wear me out or I'll be too cold (I have to keep the AC down for my asthma or I cannot sleep) and that and the weariness will top the lingering pain, etc. Things keep shifting and arranging themselves the best they can and I try to help with trying different diets, medicines, exercises, vitamins/supplements, time in the sun, etc.

I cannot have my blood pressure taken at the doctor's because the cuff is excruciatingly painful and shoots my pressure up over 200/100, making it "useless" but found a wrist cuff works, bought an expensive one, checked it alongside my doctor's at his office and now I bring in a list of 2-3 weeks worth of multiple daily readings each quarter when I go see the doctor. Playing with the blood pressure readings, trying to see what makes them higher, if I can make them go lower, etc. has taught me a couple things about myself and my health, etc. that has come in handy for me, helped me feel better overall and more in control.

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Unhappy Aug 10, 2014 at 06:55 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by poiseandpen View Post
Hello all ...

I have struggled with depression for many years, and depending on what is happening in my life is how deep the depression goes. On top of that, I have Multiple Sclerosis, Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, etc, etc, etc ...

It can be and is often overwhelming, and I cannot seem to get a grasp on any of it. I am so tired from seeing so many doctors, and trying to address my pain issues. I hurt 24/7 and get very little relief.

I just found a pain management doctor, who doesn't even want to prescribe muscle relaxers, which do help me when have them. I cry a lot, and sometimes wish "an act of nature" or some other event, would kill me to put me out of my misery. I am NOT suicidal, but I can't stand living this way either.

I feel hopeless at times, and go for days at times, neglecting myself. I am married (no children) and even though my husband knows how I suffer, I believe he has no idea how depressed I truly am. I tell him, I do ... but I think he just can't comprehend just how bad off I am. I feel so alone at times, and pray I can just go to sleep and not wake up.

Can anyone relate to any of this? I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. I only get relief when I am asleep, and unaware of my physical and emotional pain. I dread waking up, only to start the cycle all over again for another day.

Please, if anyone has suggestions, I would very much appreciate to hear what you have to say. Thanks so much.
Wow you've just described me and my situation, I'm in the same boat and have the same feelings as you.
I'm due back at pain clinic soon to discuss muscle relaxants to see if they can stop some of the pain caused by spasms and therefore keep me away from the oramorph.
I've read about others who've taken these for years with great relief and with no problems getting them prescribed either.
One things for sure I need something to ease this pain as after ten years I don't know how much more I can take

Take care
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Default Aug 17, 2014 at 03:56 PM
  #7
I see you pray... Pray helps me... sometimes others can't and don't understand... Its very hard... But finding others who do understand can help...
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Default Sep 15, 2014 at 03:27 AM
  #8
Have you heard of curezone? It's forums of specific health conditions with people offering advice and asking questions. It's not medical; simply people with conditions sharing what they've learnt.

I suffer from ME/CFS and live alone. I'm virtually bed ridden and I know what it's like to feel daunted by getting through the days. I've been suicidal and have ended up in hospital a couple of times after taking overdoses. I'm more optimistic generally now though and not really suicidal anymore, just anxious and worried about not getting well.

You're not alone!

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Confused Sep 15, 2014 at 04:15 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by demonicAngel View Post
M.s. or lupus are the top ones yet i get nothing.no meds,tests,treatments.im being left to suffer to death.
Or perhaps ME/CFS? That's what I have and I eventually got a diagnosis after changing doctors and surgeries until I found a good one. Perhaps you could change doctor?

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Default Sep 15, 2014 at 08:38 PM
  #10
I buy into the Food is Medicine philosophy. If you can afford it, one of the things that I think might really help is cutting out certain food groups. Not macronutrients like carbs and fats (because those cut out healthy sources of those as well as the unhealthy sources), but trying to get nutrients from other, better, healthier sources. I know a lot of people who have benefited from the paleo diet, although it's expensive and involves a lot of cooking. You could start by cutting grains (including corn) and/or dairy for a month or so and then reintroducing one of those little by little to see how it affects you.

I know it works because my family and I went paleo in August 2012, and my dad, who has MS (dx 2003, symptoms include pain, numbness, optic neuritis, fatigue, etc etc) and depression (self-dx) and was on a host of medications, was able to come off of 90% of his medications within a year. He was walking better and everything too. Summer 2013 we went to Utah for a week and he was with us on all but one excursion and was able to do most of the things my mom and friend and I were doing. And there was a definite relapse whenever we strayed from the diet, which we did after that trip, and he's back on a lot (but not all) of his medications. The only thing that was a downer for him was that the diet tends to get boring. My mom finds like one or two foods that we like and then she'll make them forever until we get sick of them.

But yeah. I'm not saying it'll definitely cure you, but eating healthier can give you a better quality of life. Hope this helps.
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Default Sep 20, 2014 at 03:34 AM
  #11
You have just described every detail of what I am going through, and have been for over a decade. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I can't work, be social, do extra fun things with my daughter because of my Lac of energy, motivation and of course my pain. I don't know what to do either. Therapy, counseling, mental health medication, non narcotic medication.. over 10 different brands and nothing helps. I really need help and answers too.
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Default Dec 08, 2014 at 10:01 PM
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Originally Posted by demonicAngel View Post
Yes i can.im going thru a some what simular situation.been mentaly disabled(SSA) since 2008 or so.im 35 now.ive been thrown around/abused by medical system always.now in the last 3 years ive developed physical issues.ive always been physicaly healthy and it started just one day outta nowhere my right pinkey finger hurt like i may have jabbed it or something but by afternoon it was red & stiff & hurt like an s.o.b. bit a tendonitise they said.well its ravaged my entire body.everything screams in various pain,my insides either boil or freeze,my skin hurts to touch and muscle weakness and severe fatigue and feel like i got a rancid flu everyday.it all happend gradually.throwing pills without testing first made all worse. M.s. or lupus are the top ones yet i get nothing.no meds,tests,treatments.im being left to suffer to death.
Have you been checked for a bone infection? Or a mild bacterial infection?
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Default Dec 26, 2014 at 08:40 PM
  #13
Hey, couldn't just click past here. *hug* And welcome.

In my experience men never really understand. I think perhaps they are too close to the situation to properly see it.

I hope you are getting some psych help.

RE: pain, I've had almost the same situation, but was very addicted to pain meds and benzos. Did rehab for the benzos in 2011. Then got munched in a car accident in feb 2012 and woke up, almost dead, on everything.

Then of course I had such terrible pain that I was dependent on it all too. Then I became immune to a lot of it, so it was taking more and more and more meds, to give me the same effect with pain relief.

Midyearish, I massively scaled down the meds after I had a hip replacement (I was 29........) and recovered from my wound being badly infected. I mean really massively. I had a rough trot of it, but somehow managed to keep off most pain pills. I swam, walked(hurty as knee and hip and foot got screwed in the car accident!) and stretched lots and did yoga. Stuff to keep me moving and not be all stiff and even sorer.

Now, I take bugger all. Panadol osteo and ibuprofen a few times a week and some codeine sometimes. It seems that for me, if I cvan keep moving, that I am more ok.

I have Borderline Personality, severe depression, am disabled RE: MVA injuries, have a bad back, chronic fatigue syndrome, GAD and have fairly constant pain.

I found that by coming off all the meds pretty much, my tolerance was removed, and my pills became MUCH more effective for me. Even if I build up tolerance again, and go through a bad time of bad pain, to kick the tolerance, then have a period of time where my meds can work well for me, that it's better than how it was when I had to take the same amount that would kill someone else, just to get smoe relief. :/

This may or may not work for you. I hope it does. And you feel better, and get some help. <3

Do be cautious with benzos. They are highly addictive. And rehab sucked.

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Default Feb 26, 2015 at 02:35 AM
  #14
I also have Multiple Sclerosis, Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, chronic fatigue syndrome and a host of mental illnesses so I truly understand your pain and frustration. Pain Management Centers now a days suck they don't like giving out anything. my GP and Neurologist give me my pain control and they keep my pain down pretty good, but it still hurt most days just to get out of bed. I wish you luck and hope you get some relief soon.

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Default Feb 28, 2015 at 10:13 PM
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One day I had a few seconds without pain and I thought that I might have died and not realized it.
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Default Mar 15, 2015 at 09:35 AM
  #16
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Originally Posted by poiseandpen View Post
Hello all ...

I have struggled with depression for many years, and depending on what is happening in my life is how deep the depression goes. On top of that, I have Multiple Sclerosis, Osteoarthritis, Fibromyalgia, Migraines, etc, etc, etc ...

It can be and is often overwhelming, and I cannot seem to get a grasp on any of it. I am so tired from seeing so many doctors, and trying to address my pain issues. I hurt 24/7 and get very little relief.

I just found a pain management doctor, who doesn't even want to prescribe muscle relaxers, which do help me when have them. I cry a lot, and sometimes wish "an act of nature" or some other event, would kill me to put me out of my misery. I am NOT suicidal, but I can't stand living this way either.

I feel hopeless at times, and go for days at times, neglecting myself. I am married (no children) and even though my husband knows how I suffer, I believe he has no idea how depressed I truly am. I tell him, I do ... but I think he just can't comprehend just how bad off I am. I feel so alone at times, and pray I can just go to sleep and not wake up.

Can anyone relate to any of this? I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. I only get relief when I am asleep, and unaware of my physical and emotional pain. I dread waking up, only to start the cycle all over again for another day.

Please, if anyone has suggestions, I would very much appreciate to hear what you have to say. Thanks so much.

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. I also deal with depression, an eating disorder, and chronic head and neck pain issues/chronic neurological issues stemming from meningitis, infections in the bones/discs in my spine, abscesses in my brain and spinal cord and surgeries to remove several infected discs/vertebrae/fuse my entire cervical spine and a craniotomy and crainiectomy to drain the infection from my brain.
I'm sorry your doctor doesn't want to prescribe what works. I get not wanting to prescribe Soma, but there are a lot of other muscle relaxants. Can you get another opinion, another physician?
Personally, I was on heavy duty narcotics for a long time so I try to avoid them if at all possible. I don't respond real well to them. I take tramadol, oxycodone occasionally, occasionally a baclofen, a lot of ibuprofen and a ton of other meds for other things. I also get occipital nerve block injections once a month and botox injections every three.
For me, heat, ice, exercise, stretching, journaling and spending time distracting myself from the pain seem to help. I don't know what all you've tried or what, if anything works for you.
I understand your significant other not understanding. I just ended a 5 year engagement mostly because he was just sick of dealing with all the illness and depression and couldn't ever understand what I was really going through. I think it's one of those things that's impossible to understand unless you're going through it or you've gone through it yourself. I've dealt a lot with suicidal ideation and not wanting to be around anymore and still am dealing with it somewhat.
I don't really have any great words of wisdom. I just wanted to say I understand what you're going through and I'm sorry you are going through it. I hope you can find some relief in something soon.
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Default Apr 12, 2015 at 02:59 PM
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Hi there, I just want to say I'm really sorry you're struggling so much. I have been in a bipolar depression for over a year now and also suffer from migraines and fibromyalgia. I know what it is like to feel like you never experience relief.

I would recommend what the previous poster did: if your current pain management doctor won't even prescribe muscle relaxers, which you have found to help you, can you find another doctor?

Best wishes for you finding some relief!
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Default Apr 12, 2015 at 03:06 PM
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i'm so sorry you're having to go through this. i don't have any physical illnesses and i can't imagine how hard and gruelling it must be for you.
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Default Sep 19, 2019 at 04:39 PM
  #19
OMG sounds just like me.

My terrible bone pain has been helped with cod liver oil and Nasalcrom. Cod liver oil for severe Vitamin D deficiency and cromolyn for mast cell activation disorder.

I also use penetrex pain cream for tender lymph nodes.

I hope you find some relief because I know how horrible it is.

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