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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
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Oct 20, 2016 at 11:51 PM
#1
Can I just say, if one more person asks me when I think I can just lay this down and move on...... I don't have actual words to describe the anger and reaction that I want to address.
If you share a moment that was more then you could handle and you are stuck there, trying to deal with it and try to explain/share (I hate that phrase!) Share. Share sounds like being comfortable enough with someone to relate with them what you are experiencing in that moment. Forgive me. Didn't look up the definition. That is my definition. To have what you have "shared" that is hurtful and wounding, thrown back at you with the comment of "when do you think you can just put this down and be ok? It's been 4 years!!" There are not enough adjectives or mental curse words to explain what my thoughts are. PLEASE!! PLEASE!! Internal anger!! Raging!! So sorry!! Had to vent. That person felt satisfied enough to go to bed and be ok. I want to set something on fire!!! Not really, but that is what the anger feels like!! Thank you for hearing me. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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 elevatedsoul, Fuzzybear, yagr
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
given
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Oct 21, 2016 at 12:36 AM
#2
So. I posted this and now I feel like a whiny kid. An angry one. I was going to delete it but decided not to.
I'm pissed and really don't know what to do with it. Just saying. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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| yagr
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2008
Posts: 2,709
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Oct 21, 2016 at 02:39 AM
#3
Good on you for not deleting it. That takes courage sometimes.
Not all emotions are pretty, but they are all real. This is your truth and you're sticking to it (on more levels than one, it seems!) Good for you. |
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 TrailRunner14, yagr
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Oct 21, 2016 at 04:01 AM
#4
Quote:
it's what this forum is here for, to listen to you and support you. glad you kept it on the site ((((((hugs)))) |
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TrailRunner14, yagr
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Ascended
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: usa
Posts: 3,836
10 1,852 hugs
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Oct 21, 2016 at 09:00 AM
#5
God do i hate it when people tell me things like that;
or to be invalidated by my dad when he says things like "I had to suffer my whole life too" or things of that nature like what i went through wasn't anything bad - because he didnt experience what i experienced yet they make it seem like what i went through wasnt so bad; wait, i almost died several times, thats not bad? beat all the time? didnt have good parents i could get comfort from? hmmm... assholes __________________ 
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TrailRunner14
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 537
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Oct 21, 2016 at 01:25 PM
#6
story of my life when people say things like that. i cannot tell you how many times i've been told the past is the past, let it go and move on, just don't think about it, think positive, do this, this, or this to help yourself, and other things that completely minimize my feelings and experiences.
i have also had things i struggled with called phases or told i only had them because i watched too much on TV or read too much online. nope. none of it was/is a phase. i now just roll my eyes if people say ignorant things and try to remind myself they haven't lived my life and aren't in my head so can't possibly understand...so i try to forgive them for their ignorance and keep focusing on what i need to do for myself and overall mental health. |
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TrailRunner14, yagr
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
given
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Oct 24, 2016 at 03:34 PM
#7
Thank you all for validating my feelings here. Thank you too for hearing my rant.
My appt with my counselor is this evening, in 3 hours to be exact. In the state of mind I was in, I emailed him at 11:00 that night. I vaguely remember sending it. Friday morning it came back to me a while after I got up. I felt like an idiot. His reply was very understanding and that helped my feelings. I emailed him back and broadly explained what happened and asked him to forgive me for sending the email. He is really great and I don't think that he thinks anything bad about it, I hope not, but I'm embarrassed. Please wish me courage. I want to be "all there" and not let this trigger me. I can't seem to get my thoughts together. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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| ruh roh, yagr
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Run of the Mill Snowflake
Member Since May 2015
Location: here and there
Posts: 4,468
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Oct 24, 2016 at 04:32 PM
#8
Wishing you well for today and onward.
(fwiw, I've sent long rants to my therapist and she says, rant away, it's fine. Sometimes, it just helps to get things out.) |
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TrailRunner14
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
given
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Oct 24, 2016 at 04:51 PM
#9
Quote:
Thank you!! You encourage me!! 
__________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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Ascended
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: usa
Posts: 3,836
10 1,852 hugs
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Oct 24, 2016 at 05:02 PM
#10
ive heard about a lot of people emailing their Ts...
are they private practices..? or is it just the therapists discretion..? think im going to ask mine tomorow if i can email her... i asked one before but they said it was against the rules... hope all is well... __________________
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
given
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Oct 24, 2016 at 06:22 PM
#11
Thank you ES!
__________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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| elevatedsoul
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Grand Member
Member Since Feb 2010
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 818
14 260 hugs
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Oct 24, 2016 at 06:40 PM
#12
It takes every ounce of my self control not to give them a good hard whack when someone says similar things. I get the feeling, oh i really do. To top it off, it's not like i'm a bloody minded person anyway !
One foot in front of the other... 
__________________ "And right here is where we store our sanity. As you can see, it's currently missing" |
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| elevatedsoul
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TrailRunner14, yagr
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: spokane
Posts: 1,459
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Oct 24, 2016 at 09:06 PM
#13
When asked,
Quote:
Quote:
__________________ My gummy-bear died. My unicorn ran away. My imaginary friend got kidnapped. The voices in my head aren't talking to me. Oh no, I'm going sane! |
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elevatedsoul, TrailRunner14
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
given
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Oct 24, 2016 at 10:11 PM
#14
Quote:
Thank you! I agree. There is something in me that makes me so angry when they say that! I truly want to hit them and I am in no way a violent person. It certainly stirs something inside of me though. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
given
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Oct 24, 2016 at 10:18 PM
#15
Quote:
Thank you Yagr! You are so factual and to the point. I admire that. I wish I was more that way sometimes. It would be nice to know how long the "normal time" is. It is what it is and the more I'm asked that question, the shorter my fuse is getting to not erupt externally instead of internally. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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yagr
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
given
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Oct 25, 2016 at 12:48 AM
#16
Ok. It's late and I truly need to go to bed. My time with my counselor was forward time. No Explication. It was good.
Thank you for your words! I wanted to share this. It's in my ears and I was thinking about y'all. I hope it encourages you as you have me! Thank you! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Glent8xwAL4# __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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| ruh roh
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ruh roh
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Ascended
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: usa
Posts: 3,836
10 1,852 hugs
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Oct 25, 2016 at 06:12 AM
#17
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
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Oct 25, 2016 at 02:44 PM
#18
Forgive me ES if I offended you. Music encourages me very much and it was just my heart to share the song with whoever would like to hear it.
__________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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| ruh roh
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