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elevatedsoul
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Trig Oct 23, 2016 at 10:29 PM
  #1
i was just wondering if anyone could give me some information, links, or thoughts on severe fragmentation...

what is it to be severely fragmented...
what do you do about it... is it more difficult to come to terms with...
is it more difficult to control, to understand... to get better...

any information at all on the development process...
anything at all...

could you be severely fragmented without D.I.D. ...?
could you be severely fragmented and not know it....?
can fragmentation occur outside of dissociation...?

does fragments merge to form alters...?
or does they merge into a core...?
or just disappear..?

im scared that there is too much... scared that its so bad... because its so hard...

thanks... i hope this post makes sense...
i need help....

i think i remember amanda saying that fragments are now considered alters as well...?
or that even fragments are equal to full alter... i cant remember...

i feel so broken... it hurts...

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Default Oct 23, 2016 at 10:52 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
i was just wondering if anyone could give me some information, links, or thoughts on severe fragmentation...

what is it to be severely fragmented...
what do you do about it... is it more difficult to come to terms with...
is it more difficult to control, to understand... to get better...

any information at all on the development process...
anything at all...

could you be severely fragmented without D.I.D. ...?
could you be severely fragmented and not know it....?
can fragmentation occur outside of dissociation...?

does fragments merge to form alters...?
or does they merge into a core...?
or just disappear..?

im scared that there is too much... scared that its so bad... because its so hard...

thanks... i hope this post makes sense...
i need help....

i think i remember amanda saying that fragments are now considered alters as well...?
or that even fragments are equal to full alter... i cant remember...

i feel so broken... it hurts...
actually I believe what I stated was that here in america we no longer use the term fragmented in relation to the disorder DID.

before 2013 fragment was an incomplete alter, one that has not been formed.

After 2013 the term fragment in relation to DID was thrown out, no longer used, no alters are now considered to be incomplete, unimportant.

fragment now just means something is broken... you drop a plate and it fragments (breaks into pieces) a rubber band breaks, a toy truck loses it wheel the toy is broke, the toy fragmented.

thats all the word fragment now means here in america ...broke, unimportant, incomplete but it is no longer used for dissociative disorders to describe alters and systems here in america.

there are countries outside the USA that still use the term fragmented to mean an incomplete, unimportant, small or last in a persons system.
but are here in america, the term is no longer.

here each persons internal system is set up in what ever ways to ensure their survival and all alters are equally important (otherwise that would not have been created if they were not needed)

those that I know that have attempted to used the term fragmented here in my location and tried to use other countries standards and definitions for what fragmented is in their locations ended up with being misdiagnosed or diagnosed with psychosis or factitious disorder imposed on self.

my opinion is if you are located in the USA you do not have to worry or research fragment, fragmentation. most likely if you try to go by what you find it would end up ruling out having DID not ruling it in now due to the new standards america goes by now.

my suggestion is just contact your treatment provider. they will go through your file with you and point you in the right direction for updated reading materials based on what your present problems and therapy goals that you want to complete in therapy are. if you dont yet have any therapy goals that may be something you and your therapist or psychiatrist can work on.

as for the other questions yes fragment applies to many things. a person who has depression, or bipolar disorder or PTSD or any other normal, mental or physical health problems can have disjointed thoughts, speech patterns, behaviors which can be called fragmented.

fragmented and not know it.. most people know when they have a break in their thoughts, speech patterns behaviors, and what ever other ways in which america uses this word now.

can this go away sure it can some people anti depressants, anti psychotics, anti anxiety meds fix it for others many different mental physical health therapies work.

even back when america used the term fragment for DID most people knew when they were having erratic emotions, switching, and so on. therapy and grounding techniques were used.
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Default Oct 23, 2016 at 11:31 PM
  #3
To me. Fragments are images and bits and pieces of memories that flash in my mind. They are like puzzle pieces that can't find where they belong, if that makes sense. That is just what it is to me. It may be different for someone else.

I'm still trying very much to sort this all out myself and what I've said may not be a good explanation for you.

I hope that makes sense. I do understand the question you are asking. I only know how to answer as it pertains to me.

I hope that helps.

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Default Oct 23, 2016 at 11:47 PM
  #4
Our system is what used to be called 'polyfragmented' meaning that some dissociated experiences were broken up into tiny little manageable chunks. What that looks like in us some abusive experiences were managed by a cluster of alter-states. Each one holds their own tiny little bit of the experience. One might hold pain, another might hold anger, another might hold fear, another might hold a sense of responsibility or whatever.
When a dissociated memory surfaces for us it is often remembered in tiny little bits as each alter (we call these ones 'memory holders') comes forward with their tiny piece of the puzzle. With these kind of alters in us, they often only exist to hold that one aspect of that one traumatic experience.
So, As you can imagine. with this type of system of dissociation there can be many, many, many, MANY fragments!
But I don't think it is any more difficult to manage than any other type of system. We still have our 'daily alters' that are well developed and very functional. We still have trauma based alters that dealt with similar types of trauma over time and are quite developed, too. And then there are the fragmented ones that don't really serve any function in the system other than to hold one aspect of one individual traumatic experience. In us, once they have brought that forth and the information is processed by us they are pretty much 'done' and we don't ever see them again. So in many ways they are 'easy'.
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Default Oct 24, 2016 at 11:55 AM
  #5
Parts of that seem to ring truth to me.

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Default Oct 24, 2016 at 12:17 PM
  #6
thanks...

im just trying to understand whats going on inside of me...

i guess i should just stop being afraid to talk about it with the doctors...
and just ask them... im just scared of being laughed at for thinking it could be something like this... but it would explain everything... if the shoe fits... but i feel like a fool... because i feel like people are going to look at me and be like how could you possibly think you have that... and it makes me cry... because i've read so much and tried to research so hard looking for the answer... for the solution... for an understanding... for acceptance and the path to recovery....

but through all these years trying... nothing has felt quite as right as D.I.D. ...
and i know that sounds ridiculous... but its true.... and it scares me...

inside i have a war about it... and im just trying to prove it yes or no, true or false... to stop the war... because im not an idiot for thinking its a possibility.... but i am... im totally retarded thinking that it could be... but im not... because it might be... but maybe its not... but maybe it is... i just need to know.... and i dont know what to do...
i told my therapist at some point... i dont remember what i said to her but i know i said something about it...

sorry... im really sad.... scared... confused... lost... embarrassed... ashamed... and im here talking with people that know their issues for the most part, where im lost in a black hole and information i try to learn is sucked away from me leaving me in an unknowing...

im sorry if i offend anyone by being here... im just looking for answers... i know i have dissociation problems.... but i cant control...

life is so hard....

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Default Oct 24, 2016 at 12:42 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
thanks...

im just trying to understand whats going on inside of me...

i guess i should just stop being afraid to talk about it with the doctors...
and just ask them... im just scared of being laughed at for thinking it could be something like this... but it would explain everything... if the shoe fits... but i feel like a fool... because i feel like people are going to look at me and be like how could you possibly think you have that... and it makes me cry... because i've read so much and tried to research so hard looking for the answer... for the solution... for an understanding... for acceptance and the path to recovery....

but through all these years trying... nothing has felt quite as right as D.I.D. ...
and i know that sounds ridiculous... but its true.... and it scares me...

inside i have a war about it... and im just trying to prove it yes or no, true or false... to stop the war... because im not an idiot for thinking its a possibility.... but i am... im totally retarded thinking that it could be... but im not... because it might be... but maybe its not... but maybe it is... i just need to know.... and i dont know what to do...
i told my therapist at some point... i dont remember what i said to her but i know i said something about it...

sorry... im really sad.... scared... confused... lost... embarrassed... ashamed... and im here talking with people that know their issues for the most part, where im lost in a black hole and information i try to learn is sucked away from me leaving me in an unknowing...

im sorry if i offend anyone by being here... im just looking for answers... i know i have dissociation problems.... but i cant control...

life is so hard....
its ok many people are afraid to talk with their doctors. but heres a thought.... many of your posts say you want all this stress and confusion gone.. well how is it going to go away if you dont talk to a doctor. its not like people anywhere online mental health groups can diagnose and treat you. only you can make all these problems you are having go away.

my suggestion is to print off your posts and just hand them to your doctor. that way you dont have to tell them, they can read it. you can even hand it to them on the way out the door and ask them to call you when they are done reading all your posts. that way you dont have to go through being there and telling them. they cant laugh at you if you are not in the room right. I actually did this once and the phone call was "wow so this is whats going on, ok heres what we are going to do" I was set up with the tests and treatments I needed for the issues I had wrote about.

unfortunately you can research all different things and end up diagnosing your self or jumping to conclusions and causing yourself stress or you can take the bull by the horns and actually do something to help yourself right. many of your posts say you want this stress and uncertainty to end well only you can end that by talking with your doctors. the decisions are yours to either continue as you are or talk with your doctors.
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Default Oct 25, 2016 at 06:38 AM
  #8
atleast im not freaking out like i was before, right?

i dunno the stuff i wrote but i know that it was embarrassing.. im glad that no one here judges me for having been a bit stupid in writing a bunch of weird stuff back then, im afraid to go back and read it... and my therapist said that it might not be a good idea to go back and read it, atleast right now

not sure why that happened.. but im getting better at it, better at talking and asking questions (again) and im trying to talk about things.. i just gotta stop filtering and stop being afraid of them.. i just feel like they are going to take me away sometimes or im going to get in trouble, but i guess im starting to trust them slowly

writing on the forum is much easier than talking, when i try to talk about things like i write here i get really ... something... my therapist says that i start to look blank, vacant, and i have a hard time feeling like im there... hard to hold a train of thought, hard to talk about things when your brain isnt functioning

i want to print stuff off for them to read, but i dont have a printer...
would like to email them but i havent gotten permision yet but im gonna try to remember to ask today if it would be ok if i emailed...

i appreciate your advice, i am definitely talking with my doctors now ... i like the ones im working with now... before it was scary and i dont think they understood as they were treating me like i was just manic... not paying any attention to the abuse and trauma...
now they are focused on the trauma and abuse... so its slow progress, but progress none the less..

thanks you
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