[Amyjay]

Sounds like the disappointment of a child, ShatteredSanity.
Did you buy yourself some big eggs this year? Can you go to the post easter sales to get some?
We went shopping for easter eggs yesterday. One of our littles was really disappointed because she wanted a Holly Hobbie egg, but they had things like Barbie, Thomas the Tank Engine and Paw Patrol (?). I think Hollie Hobbie was from the 70s and 80s.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

I am having difficulty in my mind. It's like a junk draw. Everything is in there but it's all out of order. Its very hard to focus on any one thing. I get almost nothing done. That is how it feels. Right now i am sitting and trying to think of what i want going foward in my life. I used to have a direction. Now I have no idea. Sometimes I want to drive away and keep driving until I find my life. Some times I want to buy a home and stay put. I want to be productive but I can't deal with people. Most of what they talk about don't interest me. They make me feel confused and that causes feelings of anxiety and fear. I wish I could just be. I am most time in my head either in the past or the future. I am exhausted

Yup, sounds like the effects of long-term trauma.
My mind is like that much of the time and it makes doing a good enough job at anything next to impossible. I don't know why I haven't been fired already.

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Sounds like the disappointment of a child, ShatteredSanity.
Did you buy yourself some big eggs this year? Can you go to the post easter sales to get some?
We went shopping for easter eggs yesterday. One of our littles was really disappointed because she wanted a Holly Hobbie egg, but they had things like Barbie, Thomas the Tank Engine and Paw Patrol (?). I think Hollie Hobbie was from the 70s and 80s.

we are newly introduced to paw patrol and love it

"I'm ready for a ruff ruff rescue" is like our new saying at the moment

and chicoletta's cute

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Lesson for today:

When something smells like a steaming pile of $#it that's usually exactly what it is.

I’ve found this to be exactly so as well

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

"I'm ready for a ruff ruff rescue" is like our new saying at the moment

I like it! Can imagine littles saying that.

so apparently we almost hit someone today

apparently we went in a room with a disney movie on, turned it off, and almost hit the person watching it.

we don't remember.. last thing we remember is sitting in the living room talking calmly about stuff and drinking our drink

must have been a big gap though..... ugg.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I’ve found this to be exactly so as well

I totally agree!!

It’s pretty smelly here right now.

Narcissist have a peculiar odor that is very distinctively theirs.

It does smell like a bad situation in a personal space.

[TrailRunner14]

I. Am. So. Tired. Of. Feeling. Stupid!!!!!!!!!!

[Amyjay]

(((((TrailRunner14))))
Hey. You is smart. You is kind. You is important!!
I don't believe for a second you are stupid. You have never ever come across as being stupid, ever. You are always smart and kind and kind of important around here too. How can you get to feeling not-stupid again?

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

(((((TrailRunner14))))

Hey. You is smart. You is kind. You is important!!

I don't believe for a second you are stupid. You have never ever come across as being stupid, ever. You are always smart and kind and kind of important around here too. How can you get to feeling not-stupid again?

Thank you friend for your kind words.

They made me laugh and cry at the same time.

I’m going to put myself to bed and hang on to them.

Tomorrow is always a better day. Right?

You is smart. You is kind. You is important.

Thank you!

Today we take our doggie to the vet.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

I totally agree!!

It’s pretty smelly here right now.

Narcissist have a peculiar odor that is very distinctively theirs.

It does smell like a bad situation in a personal space.

I agree, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Today we take our doggie to the vet.

Is doggie okay?

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Is doggie okay?

Yes she’s okay. We gonna fix her so she stay well and live a good long time.

Just the simplest of movements can cause the greatest amount of pain.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth this morning and had an urge (why???) to stretch my back by raising my left arm over my head pushing, and then it happened. My back must have been knotted up and the pulling tore some back muscles in the upper mid back region behind my heart. It hurt to breathe. I have to hold my breath to adjust my body and even to lay down on the floor to try to relax the muscles. I’m screwed.

I took a few ibuprofen pills and took a 3 hour nap. I’m pretty sore right now, have to sit erect, breathe easy.

I saw our work being affected- almost canceled...but I think that I can pull it off.

Now sitting at Walmart drinking a cold one for an all over pain reliever/muscle relaxer. Lol

Center back is still sharp pain, but going to work.

At 2:00, scheduled for 1 of 3 dental surgeries: 2 extractions and 2 root canals.

Thanks dad.

[Claritytoo]

Ok, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last week. I was in excruciating pain. It came on at midnight and came out of no where. When the ambulance arrived I was unable to talk. I said a few things but that was it. I was making strange movements with my mouth, I was in a strange position, I was unable to take care of myself. I could see it all happening but I did nothing to change what I was doing. I remember behaving this way once before. It was at a time when I was at my worst mentally. I was extremely depressed and wanting to die. I don't know what I was doing just that it was odd, and I wasn't able to form words. Also when I came out of anesthesia I was there but I was not out. So I was confused and it took me a few times of opening my eyes in order to grasp where I was. I noticed the nurse was concerned and than I was able to step up. I am very stressed out by all that happened. I feel disorientated and don't want to leave the house.

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Ok, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last week. I was in excruciating pain. It came on at midnight and came out of no where. When the ambulance arrived I was unable to talk. I said a few things but that was it. I was making strange movements with my mouth, I was in a strange position, I was unable to take care of myself. I could see it all happening but I did nothing to change what I was doing. I remember behaving this way once before. It was at a time when I was at my worst mentally. I was extremely depressed and wanting to die. I don't know what I was doing just that it was odd, and I wasn't able to form words. Also when I came out of anesthesia I was there but I was not out. So I was confused and it took me a few times of opening my eyes in order to grasp where I was. I noticed the nurse was concerned and than I was able to step up. I am very stressed out by all that happened. I feel disorientated and don't want to leave the house.

Thank God you are okay. Just please relax and recover. Immediate life threatening surgery is a shock. The past is the past and now we are just in a different time and place. I hope you get well soon.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Ok, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last week. I was in excruciating pain. It came on at midnight and came out of no where. When the ambulance arrived I was unable to talk. I said a few things but that was it. I was making strange movements with my mouth, I was in a strange position, I was unable to take care of myself. I could see it all happening but I did nothing to change what I was doing. I remember behaving this way once before. It was at a time when I was at my worst mentally. I was extremely depressed and wanting to die. I don't know what I was doing just that it was odd, and I wasn't able to form words. Also when I came out of anesthesia I was there but I was not out. So I was confused and it took me a few times of opening my eyes in order to grasp where I was. I noticed the nurse was concerned and than I was able to step up. I am very stressed out by all that happened. I feel disorientated and don't want to leave the house.

sometimes I forget who is who on here with all the new members and name changes and so on, so question are you DID....

if so maybe you can ask your alters why they didnt help you through this and why they are not helping you now and maybe ask them to help you.

reason I say this is because any time I had a major health issue or surgery that I was having trouble handling I would be so upset/ triggered that I would have my dissociative symptoms (numb, spaced out and so on) and an alter that could handle the health issue would take over and do the talking , answering the paramedics/ ambulance people, hospital nurses and doctors questions the whole thing. this began with me with the first time as a child that the extreme abuse required treatment for infections, rips and tears, bruising all kinds of problems that come from being a very young child undergoing extreme trauma from adults in the kinds of abuses that caused me to be DID.

my point you survived to adulthood through medical treatments that came from the extreme trauma's that causes DID they can help you now too.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

Ok, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery last week. I was in excruciating pain. It came on at midnight and came out of no where. When the ambulance arrived I was unable to talk. I said a few things but that was it. I was making strange movements with my mouth, I was in a strange position, I was unable to take care of myself. I could see it all happening but I did nothing to change what I was doing. I remember behaving this way once before. It was at a time when I was at my worst mentally. I was extremely depressed and wanting to die. I don't know what I was doing just that it was odd, and I wasn't able to form words. Also when I came out of anesthesia I was there but I was not out. So I was confused and it took me a few times of opening my eyes in order to grasp where I was. I noticed the nurse was concerned and than I was able to step up. I am very stressed out by all that happened. I feel disorientated and don't want to leave the house.

Oh no, that sounds very traumatic. I'm so sorry you went through all of that. I hope you recover quickly. Take care.