in adition to my no rest last night, I was also in a lot of pain (all ****ing night)

I am in a lot of pain this morning too

just had breakfast and now doing **** all

well **** all to do

[Amyjay]

Last night we gave a drunk stranger a ride to his drug house so he could buy some tinnies. I …. did not anticipate that turn of events.

yesterday I got really, really, wound up

I was trying to fill out an application form, but the woman who wrote it had clearly no writing skills.. she didn't write it word by word, she wrote it letter by letter- and trust me, for someone like myself (not the best speller), that, was painfull

trying to spell Fibromyalgia out letter by letter was hard (as well as all the other words she'd written in that format)

their needs to be a rule about people who can not write not sending out aplication forms. just saying

Possible trigger:

later my mother decided to email me an attachment which turned out to be a voice clip of her asking if I was dead, with sounds of fake guns in the background

what the actual ****. I couldn't have really stopped the trrigger, as it was labeled something along the lines of

"the night has a thousand eyes- bobby v", which later I found out was a song anyway

sick woman

but yeah that triggered me a lot

but apart from that.. I suppose the same as any other day

I didn't sleep again and didn't rest

mood is okay today.

got nothing to do again.. just laundry- but it is all ready in the washing machine

no sleep again.

got some shopping done this morning (at least enough to last me until monday), but apart from that I've done nothing.

irritation is really high today, only because I told someonen ot to do something, and they ended up doing it (you know how it is, people just have to do the oppositte of what you say)

little depressed I guess too.

Feelings of misunderstood and misunderstanding....so sick of singulation directed at our multiplicity.

So tired of he said/ she said directed as to you said so therefore you lie.

This world is not fit for my being.

The only thing wrong with professional help is that humans are in charge. Freedom is a farce...silence is a must.

Why o why are we here?

It’s time to shut up and stop exposing our confusion....it’s amazing how certain professionals really suck at being professional.

So effing stressed. Co-signed kids car, his financial aid, then he gets a dwi, then loses his job...then come here to get antagonized...fighting feelings of...in hopelessness.

I need to eliminate as much stress and triggers...it is causing a lot of violent abusive talk outward and inward. Our once cohesive system is being ripped asunder by all this. Strong resentful/hateful feelings are arising. Control over outbursts dwindling... getting more switch to angry alts.

I can use a lot less abusive people in my life...it’s effecting my life in all bits and at work and home. I sure can do without this place.

acording to someone I was with yesterday, I

Possible trigger:

tried to strangle myself (or one of us inside tried to), and also talked a lot about my parents/ old life

none of us remember it, but apparently we did, and apparently she was scared.. very scared- and trying to take our hand away from our throat

night full of flashbacks, and no sleep- sucks really, but it's what it is. almost another week now with nothing... not even a yawn (I should probably be concerned about it, but I'm not really), as I'm not feeling sleep deprived or anything

anyway today we had our shower which did nothing for us.. just made us feel gross and our mood 10 times worse

and then we joined spotify

we finally got round to joining it (we've wanted to for agess), and spent the afternoon messing around on that site viewing random playlists

playlists like.. " songs about dogs"

and we're not kidding

again no plans for today

and again no sleep

I guess nothing to say

I just wanted to post.. because I can. lol

[Laurel1562]

Just got back from a few days out of town to celebrate my anniversary. It was a good time.

But looks like I picked up a virus and I feel sick.

Funny(?) note: I had to double and triple check which restroom I was going into ever since Big Billy took me into a men's room on a separate occasion and I didn't know it till I got out of the stall and saw a guy standing at the urinal.

He's such a sniper in taking executive control, so far as I know only in these mischievous ways.

[MoxieDoxie]

My T put an entire plant in my lap and even though I was frozen I can still hear and see. That scene just keeps looping around in my head.

Originally Posted by Laurel1562

Just got back from a few days out of town to celebrate my anniversary. It was a good time.

But looks like I picked up a virus and I feel sick.

Funny(?) note: I had to double and triple check which restroom I was going into ever since Big Billy took me into a men's room on a separate occasion and I didn't know it till I got out of the stall and saw a guy standing at the urinal.

He's such a sniper in taking executive control, so far as I know only in these mischievous ways.

hope you get to feeling better, laurel

being ill is never nice

we're going to try and not hurt our throat and be like mummy

we're going to try

well we were told if someone inside does it they arn't just hurting themselves they are hurting all of us

so

hey i'm malika and i'm 16 and I've been in control since yesterday evening and i've been having some fun on other websites just making people annoyed.

I love making people annoyed.

I guess I don't mean to do it but what the hell, it's fun and I love to see diffrent people's reactions

and it's great to be out. I am so happy to be out and in control

did I tell you I have a bracelet on my wrist that is completely made from seashells?

well I do and it's amazing.

it was gotten for me down at the beach and I've had it on me for about a week now

okay so yesterday we didn't sleep or rest again. others are having problems with that too and I don't know why. it's pretty ****.

hope everyone is having a nice day

malika

I want to hide.

[Claritytoo]

I am kinda annoyed with my t. I mentioned that I like to sit on the porch and watch the birds at the bird feeder. She said I use that as a distraction. I never thought of it that way. I thought of it as enjoying sitting on the porch and watching the birds. If that's a distraction than everything else I do is a distraction. What does that make my life? Its kinda of f'd up that this thought keeps rolling around in my head. Part of me thinks that there is a lot of truth in it but part of me now wonders if everything we do is just a distraction from the realities of living. This is the s**t that rolls around in my head.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

I am kinda annoyed with my t. I mentioned that I like to sit on the porch and watch the birds at the bird feeder. She said I use that as a distraction. I never thought of it that way. I thought of it as enjoying sitting on the porch and watching the birds

I love to do that too! I think of it as "experiencing joy in the moment". I find it grounding and peaceful.

Perhaps even more than that I think taking time out to watch the birds/smell the roses/whatever is healthy.

Aren't they so lucky to be able to fly?!

yesterday for the first time in a long time we actually had a deecent (well sort of deecent meal)

it's just ashame our teeth were hurting us, because it took away from the enjoyment of it.

and that's all we have to say

everything else about yesterday.. just the same

In limbo due to stress and anxiety...we are drinking more than usual. Our kid...

feeling okay

no sleep (again), and this morning felt a bit dizzy because of the amount of pain I was in

but I guess i'm better now

still in a bit of pain and still have no plans for the day, but this is my life we're talking about

also had a pretty nasty flashback yesterday about past abuse.... uggg