Originally Posted by shattered sanity

today we are having problems with the dates again

bit of a shock to the system once we realised it was wednesday

to be fair, we wern't sure what day it was, so I think it was a shock to the system that we were even still alive

We gave up on dates and being surprised by it. It’s just another red flag that I’d rather burn.

[Claritytoo]

I found out that my son may have to move in two weeks. He struggles with his own mental issues and now has injuries to his leg and arm that have limited his abilities. I want to help him but he is not talking to me. I am concerned that the loss of housing will be too much pressure on him. I don't know what to do. And all of this is causing me to hide in my mind. I know I am feeling depressed and I am flooded with anxiety. I do nothing day after day. I can't move. I feel tired.

[childofchaos831]

Had a really switchy day yesterday. Was exhausted by the time I got home. Went to bed at 9, and woke up super early this morning... the sun is just now coming up... hope today is better.

That grounded post thread just made me sad because I have nothing to ground to.

[cool09]

Dissociating is the worst. I want it to go away.

I kept hearing this heavy loud swishing sound like whom whom whom.... I blocked my ears and shifted my eyes.... heard it....so I opened my ears and looked side to side and I was hearing metallic swooshing sounds with my eyeball movements....wtf??? It was louder than the t.v.

Funny how I accept everything as normal.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

We gave up on dates and being surprised by it. It’s just another red flag that I’d rather burn.

Well that wasn’t nice...sorry. I hope things are better.

It's easy to forget (for us- no excuse) that things aren’t the same for people and I should do much better at being cordial, caring and concerned.

It’s not easy when one is lacking of certain people skills. But there is plenty of room for improvement.

feeling a little disturbed (for those that want to know what we're on about, check in bipolar- thread called rant about animal abuse)

the smaller ones (kirsty, alicia, budgie and bethany), have had most of the time out

not sure how we feel about all that, about littles taking over- but also I think it's safer for someone like alicia to come out, than it is say a big person right now

We’re fixing our dog. She’s a beetch. The littles Love her. Whatever.

we're alive.

certainly not doing well or happy, but we're okay if that makes sense.

maybe not.... hmm

all the english theme parks re-opened today

theresa inside is thrilled

she loves looking up queue times and theme park news

quite upset and angry.

(see other thread)

as bad as this sounds, we've been set a challenge.

can we eat 16 chicken nuggets in 1 hour

I think we can, but hmm.

getting worried about what's at steak

if we win, we get a Hawaiian punch, and if we lose, well we've lost the punch and we'll be so embarrassed for losing.

we are such sore losers, and yes we feel bad for accepting this challenge, but.... well, we can only try

we did it.

16 chicken nuggets in an hour

well, 16 chicken nuggets in 10 minits (yeah we're greedy)

but reputation saved

A co-tech is on emergency leave and I’m covering emergency services in the evening plus my normal 8 hour day. Yesterday was a 12-1/2 hour day.

People don’t get how we get one tracked and keep on going on a task....because we have an alter for that.

My body is sore and tired, I want to back to bed...but we’re not screw up our overtime because of it.

morning's just vanished.

12 34 in the afternoon and we're wondering where the morning went- and who was out.

we don't really know

[TrailRunner14]

Well.

Again.

I’ve said this too many times here.

This place sucks!!

There are things that are more real now.

So there’s that.

For the past few nights I’ve set out to numb myself.

Nothing major, Yuengling isn’t hard but it isn’t hard enough to get me to numb like I wanted.

I talked to my h about where I’m at.

I journaled today, freely, and it found me.

He heard me and didn’t judge me.

There’s still no feeling of mattering to anyone. He heard me but it was just listening and not a heart connection.

He left me here to have some time to myself and that is so not what I wanted.

I did want to heard and I wanted to be comforted.

I KNOW that’s not going to happen but it’s what I’ve wanted always.

To matter.

I know that what I feel that I cannot see is real.

That’s staggering.

I wish it wasn’t so but my heart tells me it is.

What do I do with that?

I don’t know.

That is the true question of the real healing.

Right?

It is late and maybe the Yuengling had a beneficial effect.

I think I’m sleepy.

I’m rambling but thank you for hearing me.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Well.

Again.

I’ve said this too many times here.

This place sucks!!

There are things that are more real now.

So there’s that.

For the past few nights I’ve set out to numb myself.

Nothing major, Yuengling isn’t hard but it isn’t hard enough to get me to numb like I wanted.

I talked to my h about where I’m at.

I journaled today, freely, and it found me.

He heard me and didn’t judge me.

There’s still no feeling of mattering to anyone. He heard me but it was just listening and not a heart connection.

He left me here to have some time to myself and that is so not what I wanted.

I did want to heard and I wanted to be comforted.

I KNOW that’s not going to happen but it’s what I’ve wanted always.

To matter.

I know that what I feel that I cannot see is real.

That’s staggering.

I wish it wasn’t so but my heart tells me it is.

What do I do with that?

I don’t know.

That is the true question of the real healing.

Right?

It is late and maybe the Yuengling had a beneficial effect.

I think I’m sleepy.

I’m rambling but thank you for hearing me.

I know how you feel.

when we were first given the suggestion of trying the samaratans, we were under high hopes of a connection and for people to listen to us and understand us.

the few times we did use them... well we didn't feel like that.

listen to us, maybe.

care, hard to tell

connect with us... certainly not.

it was almost like talking to a robot (I'm sorry to those of you who have had positive experience with them), but it wasn't for us.

we've had it with chrisis lines too- with one conversation going something like..

operator: what do you like?

us: watching cartoons

her: go watch cartoons then, bye

we know how you feel and we're sorry you are feeling this way

we're having a high anxiety day today.

lots going on in our area.. new woman moving in and it's caused quite a lot of anxiety

well.

we've put an end to our arguments about food once and for all.

we're going to make a system (sort of like a spinny arrow), that has 10 food choices on it (the 10 foods we like most)

and where ever it stops on that day, well, that's what we're going to have.

sounds good, right?

just gotta make it over the weekend, get the supplies and stuff