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#121
yesterday we lost more time, because we were on here without actually knowing we were
we have some posts on threads we don't remember posting also watched part of our hour long special of the soap opera we watch, but things inside got pretty crazy and we ended up missing the rest (or rather, having it on but losing attention) |
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#122
we are not having the best day as far as keeping track of time is going.
and we are hearing things that arn't actually happening too morning was okay, struggling now in the afternoon |
Amyjay
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
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#123
Found out today main abuser has terminal cancer.
Also my whole family expects me to be his carer. |
Solnutty, toomanycats
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Guest
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#124
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Amyjay
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Guest
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#125
I have no idee about yesterday evening.
but today feeling quite frajile like we may have starved ourselves or something |
Guest
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#126
it is a quiet sunday.
a quiet rainy sunday and not even natalie is shouting at me yet bit of a bonus |
Guest
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#127
not sure how we feel yet.
a little depressed, a little self-destructive, a little blah, a little angry.... many diffrent emotions |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: California
Posts: 288
6 235 hugs
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#128
Made a cognitive break through in therapy. Basically I realized how a repetitive unwanted behavior of mine serves a dissociative function. Now sometimes I can see through it, so to speak, and get some feel for the material that behavior covers up. This means I'm having waves of loneliness and sadness here and there, and irritability. I'm thankful that those walls are up most of the time. I hope this can go slowly.
__________________ Crazy is what keeps me sane. |
Amyjay
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,734
6 542 hugs
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#129
10 shared new memories yesterday
well not new...in that...i knew they existed i just didn't know what they were til now not ok idk |
Member
Member Since Apr 2017
Location: California
Posts: 288
6 235 hugs
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#130
__________________ Crazy is what keeps me sane. |
Amyjay
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
given |
#131
I have a really important work thing I need to, should have done already, will cost me personally a substantial amount of money if I can't get it done but I just can't contain myself or ground myself to do it. It feels like many parts are quite distraught. There is a lot of anger around which is rare for us and it is flying out in all the wrong places. Tomorrow is going to be a very stressful work day and we see T straight after work. We are trying not to think about family because it causes too much distress.
But I suppose all the distress is there anyway. I don't know how to get this work thing done when I am struggling so much to even hold on to my self. |
Solnutty
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Guest
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#132
I like cake
cakecakecakecakecakecakecake cake cakecakecakecakecakecake cake licia |
Guest
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#133
it is a difficult day today.
found out early this morning that a member of our family had passed away in hospital why it's difficult is simple... we don't know how to react or take the news. like, we want to act "normal", and sad, and all that stuff, but this woman's last words to us were... I hope you die in hell, so we don't exactly have the emotions that we perhaps should be displaying, but also feel bad for not feeling sad.. well we do feel sad and stuff...... a little.... hard to know how we feel |
Amyjay, Solnutty, TrailRunner14
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
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#134
Quote:
(((SS))) I can totally understand the place you find yourself in. I think I can anyway and my heart hears you. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2011
Location: Long Island NY
Posts: 1,272
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#135
In the last few months I have noticed how raw my feelings are. fear is sometimes overwhelming. It feels unfamiliar. I know I have felt fear before but now it's consuming. I am not sure what to make of it.
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Amyjay, Anonymous48690, TrailRunner14
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#136
Didn’t think I’d come back cause other parts get their feelings hurt to easily, but able to voice ones self in a private group setting is better than throwing it out there in the Facebook groups. That just doesn’t seem so private even though we are a pill to take.
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TrailRunner14
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#137
My shoulders hurt so bad that I can barely carry my chihuahua. Then to top that off, the others volunteered for another weeks of on call work. That’s 24/7. We work our 40 and whatever else after that.
In the middle of January there was a bunch of broken frozen pipes and we worked 30 hours in 2 days with 4 hours of sleep. I wanted next Saturday off, but nope there goes that want. |
TrailRunner14
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2011
Location: Long Island NY
Posts: 1,272
12 11 hugs
given |
#138
I called at therapist today and scheduled an appointment. I have spent the rest of the day trying to talk myself out of it. But we will go. If we don't like the therapist we will find another. I don't think I will tell the t about my diagnosis. Not until we trust her. This way if it don't work out our business isn't everywhere. We are doing ok at the moment we just need someone to talk to. We are on our own right now. Writing this makes me feel like I am letting too much be known. But it also helps to know I can say stuff
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TrailRunner14
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 4,457
8 536 hugs
given |
#139
Quote:
I hope that it works out for you and you feel comfort and safety. It really helps to have someone who can give you guidance and validation when you are working through hard things. I’ve felt like you about sharing things sometimes. Just wanted you to know that I heard you and I’m hoping the best for you. __________________ "What is denied, cannot be healed." - Brennan Manning "Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Underground
Posts: 2,439
7 692 hugs
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#140
I hope it goes well Claritytoo.
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