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Default Aug 08, 2018 at 07:51 AM
  #501
Getting back into a morning routine which means that I can feed and walk the dog, make a 2 eggs and cheese sandwich, pack our lunch, get us dressed and showered, coffee’d, pilled, starting at 6:45 and leaving at 7:30.
 
 
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childofchaos831
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Default Aug 08, 2018 at 08:53 AM
  #502
Having a really spacey morning. PHP in about 30 minutes. Not anticipating this to go well. I've been disassociating a bit in group as it is, I don't want to fully switch... especially if its gonna be obvious, and there's no way to know beforehand.

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Default Aug 08, 2018 at 09:13 PM
  #503
To admit that I have a serious problem is to admit that I can’t handle it. I’ll handle it.
 
TrailRunner14
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Default Aug 08, 2018 at 10:50 PM
  #504
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2 View Post
To admit that I have a serious problem is to admit that I can’t handle it. I’ll handle it.


Your post reminds me of a post I made last week.

I send you a warm (((Hug)))

Friend

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"Hope knows that if great trials are avoided, great deeds remain undone and the possibility of growth into greatness of soul is aborted." - Brennan Manning
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Default Aug 09, 2018 at 04:39 AM
  #505
yesterday I " through the toys out the pram", because I couldn't have what I wanted- so in a fit of rage I took all my bracelets off (all 8 of them), and
through them across the room- not that I'm bothered, today I'm probably going to step on them and break the strings..

I've done some more work to my stories- I have my creative flow back (whoo!)

I wrote a chapter on my benidorm one, and a chapter to the stranger on the bridge- strangely enough, the stranger on the bridge is based on something happening
in a tv show at the moment (and I didn't even know it was happening!).

today I'm going to add to my dark fairytales collection, the story of the bird bear (but darker version)

still no sleep, though that's okay- unaffected by it anyway.

today for the first time in ages (at least a few weeks), it's actually pretty cool- and raining a little bit

finally got the cooler weather we've desperately needed... hoping it will last for a while!
 
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Default Aug 10, 2018 at 06:46 AM
  #506
Kicking our collective butt for staying up to midnight drinking again.

Everybody wants to be up and out- there isn’t enough hours in a day to accommodate everyone.

The body is exhausted, on call for another 3-1/2 days. Yaaaawn
 
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Default Aug 10, 2018 at 07:31 AM
  #507
feeling grossed out.... today was my shower day and honestly felt really gross for taking one

their is thunderstorms today outside the window and rain. the cooler weather is certainly lasting- and that's good

yesterday I had a new cd arive, so going to spend the day listening to that. I was going to yesterday, but felt **** (I still feel ****, but a little better)
 
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Default Aug 10, 2018 at 07:32 AM
  #508
i've not been bothered about the bracelets, they can't have meant that much to me..
 
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Default Aug 11, 2018 at 04:58 AM
  #509
yesterday I got a little freaked.

someone mentioned the body name- and of course, this person hasn't been around for many, many years

it was sorta freaky.. like who are they?
 
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Default Aug 11, 2018 at 04:59 AM
  #510
we're also back to the hot weather.

blah.. and I so wanted yesterday's rain to last a little bit longer
 
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Default Aug 12, 2018 at 03:57 AM
  #511
overeating on sweets.

that's what I've been doing for much of yesterday and all of today (blah)

plus I must have had a pretty severe switch last night, because my first thought was.. I wish I was here, and not here anymore, I wish this happened in my life, and this and this, it all did happen to me 8 months ago- and I didn't remember a thing.

still believed I was living with my abusers, when the fact is lots has happened since then
 
 
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Default Aug 12, 2018 at 09:11 AM
  #512
Omg, it’s Sunday morning. It was like just Monday a short time ago. The guys have been out all week on call and haven’t got to do me hardly at all....and it’s all over tomorrow! I’ve got so much work to do.

But we still have the next 24 hours, then it’s me time, I’m so excited!

We gotta go, a call came in.

Ciao.
 
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Default Aug 13, 2018 at 07:36 AM
  #513
yesterday I had a panic attack.

the bad part about it was that the usual ways of dealing with it didn't seem to work (it was a really really bad one)

on top of that, I was " gone", for quite a lot of the afternoon yesterday (flashbacks and things)

but for now things are okay

for now
 
 
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Default Aug 13, 2018 at 01:56 PM
  #514
Depression
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Default Aug 13, 2018 at 03:45 PM
  #515
sorting out some of our dvds tonight

putting them in the right order

stressfull

and feel a bit triggered because of a light we saw.

reminds us of the ward..
 
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Default Aug 15, 2018 at 02:21 PM
  #516
Broke our middle finger last night. We have it taped to another finger to work. It’s swollen.
 
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Default Aug 16, 2018 at 10:07 AM
  #517
I've been stable for most of the day

still really bad overeating though

yesterday had a chinese takeaway

probably shouldn't have but it was really nice
 
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Default Aug 17, 2018 at 07:22 AM
  #518
It’s Friday again already. Always so tired always working always drinking always switching always blanking always not me.
 
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Default Aug 17, 2018 at 07:54 AM
  #519
yesterday, someone used " that name again", (that name being the name of someone who is no longer around), and it frustrated us no end- especially since the name got used twice.

heard about the death of aretha franklin, and had no idea who she was (which was embarrassing, looking her up), such a famous singer- and we didn't know who she was at all

some flashbacks yesterday

no sleep

today apart from showering we've not really done much to help ourselves. worst of it is probably the fact that our overeating is even worse than yesterday

eating like 4 bags of candy at once. it's embarrassing
 
amandalouise
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Default Aug 17, 2018 at 01:38 PM
  #520
Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
yesterday, someone used " that name again", (that name being the name of someone who is no longer around), and it frustrated us no end- especially since the name got used twice.

heard about the death of aretha franklin, and had no idea who she was (which was embarrassing, looking her up), such a famous singer- and we didn't know who she was at all

some flashbacks yesterday

no sleep

today apart from showering we've not really done much to help ourselves. worst of it is probably the fact that our overeating is even worse than yesterday

eating like 4 bags of candy at once. it's embarrassing
just a suggestion... since the name keeps triggering you how about legally changing your name. its really easy to do. just put aside what you can afford every month to cover the court fees. go to the ccounty clerks office and fill out the paperwork. then as long as the name change isnt because you are avoiding crime and other illegal activities on your part (no not assuming you have committed a crime. just a standard question the judge will ask) then the judge approves the name change, you will get a new birth certificate with your new name on it, social security will issue you a new SSI card. and your good to go for legally using your new name. and legally every one else in your life has to use your new legal name. this is how a friend of mine solved the problem of being triggered by her name.
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