I've decided to give up on the sisterhood book (I was enjoying it, sure), but the plots were getting a tiny bit confusing- and it was getting a little long, so I'm reading something simpler now.. I'm reading cut off, about a woman who loses her phone in a cafe (it is something I can cope with for the moment)

yesterday, where I live, it was the switching on of the christmas lights, so that meant their was a lot of fireworks (I say a lot of fireworks, it was a short display), but more than I've ever had to deal with. I handled it pretty well, and I even walked to my window to watch some of them (this is coming from the woman who gets triggered a lot by fireworks), so I think of that as a win- I watched some fireworks in the sky.

started my new book.. only read a chapter but I want to read more later (just here briefly to update the threads I want to)
I''m feeling good, and tonight I'm having a pizza takeaway so even better (my only takeaway this week)

of course the downside is the lacck of sleep, but is it?

barely affecting me so I guess not

[dlantern]

I got up and got my phones and went on facebook.....Ur too honest about this!!

[dlantern]

baby boy, go in one to get that out me other than that you are not fit for me!! ......I was dying laughing on saturday night live!!

I hate coming on here to find threads and postings started and written on this account that I know nothing about and is afraid to open to see the content out of shock and embarrassment.

Most of the reason I quit something is just because of that....evidence of my uncontrollable mind.

This forum is as much a trigger as anything else.

[Laurel1562]

This forum has also been a trigger for me, which is why I have not been reading it or posting. We are just trying to get past Thanksgiving which we for some stupid reason agreed to host for my daughters and their families. We are held together right now by spit and paper. By next week we will be pressing forward in therapy and hopefully making some progress. We've been in a holding pattern since watching my granddaughter up in Wisconsin in October.

the radio station I listen to needs to stop playing music by rod steuart

I know they don't know.. they have no way of knowing, but it's a massive ****ing trigger

I turn the music down so I don't have to listen to it, but still

So tired. The others stay up late watching YouTube. I find it pointless because I don’t know what was watched...talk about useless.

Mother is cooking turkey (been 34 years?)....

[Amyjay]

Ugh. Yep. Rod Stewart. Flashback songs for me.

Stayed up late early to work.

been depressed all day and got so little done

the positive is that I did open the window for a bit of fresh air from outside

it's very cold outside so it was nice to get the breeze

[Fuzzybear]

I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to accomplish today..............

roast dinner didn't fill me up- and actually seemed pointless having it as I was so hungry afterwards

I was also in a lot of chrronic pain last night so could not find a good position. I didn't do much for the rest of the night and of course didn't sleep,
so was extra long and boring

so far today I am feeling freaked out- well not really freaked out, a little agitated because I had to answer some questions for a form

and some of the questions (2 of them?) were quite personal and I wasn't impressed with it

but I did it and it's over but now I'm sitting here thinking... wow, those were draining

I hate questions at the best of times- and especially personal ones

Saw doc for re-up of bipolar meds. Told him we drink.... a lot.
Told him if he had alters...he would be drinking, too.
He upped our meds and recommended AA.

suicidal and irritable

one of those times where you clearly have a lot of things going on (or in my case, bad thoughts), and not enough people to listen.

I did do something productive though. I actually fitted my new drawers in my room (the old ones were broken so I had to replace them), it was hard work and even harder work plugging everything back in, but it's done now and I don't have to worry about doing it again (hopefully)

these ones are smaller and hopefully more sturdy

Kid triggers us...Angry One keeps appearing nightly due to his incompetence of not paying his bills, lying, disrespecting, and jerking us around.

Told him he must move out.

today I had my shower (and as I predicted, felt gross afterwards)

then I had to order all my shopping- not the best of things to do, but it's gotta be done.

and now I have the rest of the day to act like a coutch potato (so just normal and that)
suicidal feelings still their- and lots of depression, but feel slightly better today.. given it's friday, and tomorrow (saturday the 1st), I get to open
my advent calendar for the first time

I can't believe it's 25 days until christmas day but it is

Originally Posted by raging vortex

today I had my shower (and as I predicted, felt gross afterwards)

then I had to order all my shopping- not the best of things to do, but it's gotta be done.

and now I have the rest of the day to act like a coutch potato (so just normal and that)
suicidal feelings still their- and lots of depression, but feel slightly better today.. given it's friday, and tomorrow (saturday the 1st), I get to open
my advent calendar for the first time

I can't believe it's 25 days until christmas day but it is

I know it on the Christmas time!

This body is fixin to turn 51 (yuck) in a few days...we just keep getting uglier and uglier.

today I snapped at someone.

they were talking to me about something that they thought I was looking forward to and I just snapped at them. I think they were quite shocked by it- I'm like no, I didn't enjoy it, I'm not well.. and yes, I'm really still not well- and very suicidal still.

I opened my advent calendar today and had a chocolate soldier behind the door

a chocolate soldier?

what the **** does a ****ing soldier have to do with christmas

all I'm saying on that

now just listening to christmas music and feeling low

We are drinking to oblivion and *****. So far no luck.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

today I snapped at someone.

they were talking to me about something that they thought I was looking forward to and I just snapped at them. I think they were quite shocked by it- I'm like no, I didn't enjoy it, I'm not well.. and yes, I'm really still not well- and very suicidal still.

I opened my advent calendar today and had a chocolate soldier behind the door

a chocolate soldier?

what the **** does a ****ing soldier have to do with christmas

all I'm saying on that

now just listening to christmas music and feeling low

Solder = Toy

sometimes children get toy army men/ solders in their stockings. back when the first monk gave out presents (santa legend) solders roamed the streets keeping everyone safe from concuring armies coming in to take over the towns. wars have always been a part of history around the world. now we got chocolate solders in advent calendars to represent toy solders / toys

I'm listening to the movie santa is coming to town. in it they also have toys shaped like solders and solders are roaming the town enforcing the kings rules.