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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 14
6 |
#1
So, similar problems to my last post have been happening. A lot.. like, I've been feeling similar to it since last Thursday or so??? Constant nervousness. Fear. Sudden shyness and anxiety. I feel like.. not myself? I question myself as I walk. I confirm my name and who I am. But sometimes it doesn't feel right or natural. I find myself saying "this isn't me. I'm not me. Something isn't right, I'm not right." Like I'm unsure? Even the person in the mirror seems unfamiliar sometimes.
The other night I suddenly started crying during a play and became deeply afraid that everyone was suddenly going to vanish or die or leave. My friend was there to comfort me as I clung to him. I've been afraid and desperate for attention and affection. My brain has been shutting down and I've even had a small stutter today. I'm not comprehending as well. Even the smallest raising of someone's voice or anger from my friends has me nervous and afraid. I guess this is more of a rant, but yeah... sadly I won't be able to get any therapy any time soon so that's nice... |
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Member
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: michigan
Posts: 316
7 |
#2
Hi. I'm NiKKi. I wanted to tell you i hear you and i hope rantin helped a bit. i now it helps me sometimes to get it out so i hope it helped you to.
I wanted to say to how i understand what your sayin. i get like that to. im somethin called a age slider. what that means is sometimes i present like a little kid. i say im small then. i feel small then. i feel lots like what you were sayin, nervous, shy, fear, when im feelin small. I get real sad to and cry. Well i get like that when im bigger to but its diffrent is all. Everything is tons more rough when im small. Yeah. I relate. I dont do loud either. Blech. Raising voices make me wanna go i dont know how come people gotta be doin that. I relate to to shuttin down when stuff is intense like that. Id been shuttin down n not talkin good neither if i was you. Sounds like you been having bad days for whats gotta feel like forever right now. I got autism to and part of shuttin down for me means im not gonna be able to talk after awhile. i wanna tell you how your doin good talkin here. i know typin is easier sometimes then sayin words but still its not easy to type n make words happen to when stuff is hard n you did did n you speakin up so i wanted to say good job for that. I hope your feelin better today and im glad your friend was there for you when you was scared. He sounds like a nice person. I hope to you can find some nice things to do for you to help you out n get to feelin better soon. NiKKi __________________ no hugs or prayers pls n thx (dx list: DID/PTSD, ASD, GAD, OCD, LMNOP) |
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2017
Location: Texas
Posts: 14
6 |
#3
Quote:
Thank you so much for this reply..! Your words made me so happy! One thing that scared me however is that this is similar to my s/o... they sometimes have a point in time where they suddenly regress in age, forget certain words, act innocent and immature, etc.. they completely behave and think like a child..! They hate it, and it's hard to handle sometimes.. I feel like me doing this is just like I'm copying or trying to ask for attention.. It's not as bad like them, but it has been a little hard to deal with when I feel alone.. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: Logan
Posts: 1,155
7 8 hugs
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#4
If at the DID dx or nearing that, attend therapy to maybe one day bring along what people will think you are. If one day you do, accept it for some reason there is a realization and convincing try to deal with it accordingly. Ultimately it has to be the understanding that having something wrong with you means just this so going on surviving as well as you can.
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