Every night at about 3-4 a.m. parts start getting active so much that they wake me up either by talking or flooding the mind with long past forgotten memories.

Last night was no different..... silent, detached snapshots of this body’s experiences like action photos, mostly in 3rd person of which were foreign but familiar, at times horrific, some unspeakable, things that I wouldn’t never say or do....just a totally different person alien then what we are now and very disconcerting to say the least.

The specific memories are not important (they were random with no deep meaning)...just the fact that this is the way it is, is.

These string of uncomfortable memories sometimes gets me all worked up that we yell out at what literally is a horror show appalling in every detail...and yet we can’t escape. The memories are not like I was on a murder binge...but more like the way we were seen, dressed, behaved, things we did, who we hung around with, life, how sexually loose we were, the drugs and what was done through all that.... held in shocking awe, disbelief, and wonder. Gut sense says it’s all real as much as I want to dis-own it.

I heard mum lock her bedroom door- yes, usually we are consciously aware, too.

It’s not hard to say that we don’t sleep much between them hours everyday. And also to add, based how many beers we drank per hour that the body processes alcohol, that’s usually about the time that we sober up. When we drink more though....we sleep right through those times...so I guess we can see a good part of why the drinks.

Like all dreams, they will fade away, but this one of some others like it left an impression enough to be writing it now hours later. Too escape though, we would have to turn on the light for a bit and read online to reset the mind so that we can sleep on.

Just another night in AC2 that I’m sure is repeated in everyone else’s bed world wide, but dreams of the past for most aren’t nightmares. Yes?

During the day these memories are locked away and inaccessible...but at night they float up out of the darkness, something/anything. This isn’t a recurring dream...it just happened. I guess guards get let down and parts just free float? I don’t know. Or maybe I’m just a functioning crazy.

I’m sure that this is a recurring post....just heavily inspired at this time

3:40 a.m.- random flashes of thoughts and images over lapping in one conglomerate mess, some vexing, some cartoons, some thinking about going off meds...the usual.